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#201 Posted : Sunday, August 11, 2013 4:33:15 PM(UTC)
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Hi. Must we see more pictures of you sweating after practice.

Its totally destroying my concentration.

Um you should know that there are nights when all I can do is go to bed and dream about you.

Dream about you topping me after practice on Centre Court at Wimbledon.

We do it in the tunnel that leads to the court.

We do it in the shadows. In the Queens box. All over the place.

Its so unbecoming. So naughty. So unbelievably you.

I Bette her highness would have a field day talking about the other Queen over tea and crumpets.

And to think all along I thought Martina was the "grass" court specialist.

You finally finish and we zip each other up.

You look at me as if to say, "If you tell anyone I-will-kill-you."

We run. Split up at the end of the tunnel.

You HEAD toward your locker and I HEAD in the other direction.

We go our separate ways and meet up at the hotel.

You walk in and say, "That was close. Much closer than when we did it "Down Under".

I say, "Yeah, its too bad they can't all be on clay.

The French have no idea who you really are.", laughing as I say it.

You push me back down on to the bed.

Tackle me. Restrain me. Hold me down.

Then you say to me, "You think your funny don't you?", tickling me as you say it.

I reply, "Beloved, how do you suggest we do this at the US Open?

Tell poor Jimmy to close his eyes? He's not going to let you out of his sight.

You didn't hire a trainer. You hired a prima donna. A champion."

Then I say, "Its way too risky Maria. I don't want Jimmy to see me naked with you."

You look at me and say, "I need you to behave yourself when we get back to the States.

Its not like being here or us visiting my family back home.

You can't bring Victoria Secret models that you happen to meet on the street back

to our hotel room for fun. I can't have you being seen doing strange things."

I look at you sitting on me.

I smile, grunt and say, "Okay."

You look at me and say, "I'm serious."

I look back at you and say, "So am I."




#202 Posted : Sunday, August 11, 2013 6:34:00 PM(UTC)
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Now-we-go-to-school, because appearances might be deceiving. I think.


Someone else won the prize again.

You know the random drawing for the autograph card that you have whenever the mood takes you.

My gosh the mere thought of me winning anything from you brings me to my knees with excitement.

No seriously it really really does. It left turns me on so to speak.

As wonderful as it would be Maria to win one, I think I would much rather win something else.

A different type of an autograph from you. Something much much more personal.

I want to win something from you that can't be bought, sold, or traded.

Win something that you would never ever just give away at random.

I want you to give me something that you have always wanted to give to someone.

Something that you desperately need to give to someone else.

Something that you've been waiting to give to someone for a long long time now.

Just think of it Maria! A real reason to give somebody something.

And by doing so you might just get something really really great back in return.

I mean why not benefit by giving it to them yourself.

Oh no Maria, I would never dream of making a suggestion as to what you should give them instead.

No no certainly not, that my dear must come from within. Come from you.

How you think you might benefit by giving them something else.

Its too bad you don't except gifts.

I mean we could have a random drawing right here right now.

We could pull your name out of my underwear again and you could win the grand prize.

Yeah um come to think of it.

We think that you should come here now and claim your booby prize.

Yeah thats it, come and pick it up from us this instant.

Come on, come and get it from both of us...






#203 Posted : Monday, August 12, 2013 1:10:14 PM(UTC)
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I had a nightmare and SURPRISE you were in it.

I was walking down the street and passed a Victoria Secret store.

They had all the beautiful bras and panties displayed all over in the window.

It made me think about your um parts.

You know the vital vital stuff that makes you the great player that you are.

As I reached the end of the block it started drizzling.

Yes Maria even more of you to think about.

And thats when I looked up and saw "Assassin" and "Stick" walking slowly towards me.

I duck into a fancy chocolate boutique.

I zip up my pull over put on my sunglasses and start browsing.

I look at all the delicious eclairs, truffles, and assorted candies and chocolates.

Jennifer walks into the store.

I turn around.

She smiles and says, "We really really really have to stop meeting like this."

I say smiling, "Jennifer, darling, are you following me again um I thought we talked about this?"

She says laughing, "Whoa, whoa, what's with you? Prozac? Xanax? Viagra Plus?

No more fifteen year olds left in your dating pool huh?"

I say, "Nothing. Its nothing. Forget it. Look, there are two women following me.

I met them at an Inn on the road to the West after Maria's wedding.

Jennifer says, "What wedding?"

I look at her and say, "The wedding Jennifer. You were there remember.

We went together. We spent the night. You told me that you would take her place.

You told me that you would be Maria with me."

She just looks at me. Then I hear a cough.

We both turn around and the lady behind the counter says,

"Hi um I'm sorry to interrupt, may I help you?"

Jennifer smiles and says, "Yes I need something sweet, LOL.

Tarts and truffles filled with happiness and joy for all the world to see.

I need it for an anniversary party."

And then I say, "Sugarpova, do you sell Sugarpova?

She says, "Oh Sugarpova yes yes, of course we do."

Then she says, "Um we sold out again so I have to check, I'll be right back."

She quickly disappears behind a curtain.

I turn to Jennifer and say "Do me a favor look out the window and see if you see two 

women standing out there. One of them is a Blonde the other a Brunette."

Jennifer walks over to the front of the store, peeks out the window, and quickly comes back to me.

She whispers, "There are three women standing outside.

Young, pretty, do you know them? 

Then she says loudly, "Are you screwing them too?"

I say back quietly, "Three? Three of them? Are you sure?"

Jennifer says, "Yes. There are three of them. They seem to be waiting for something."

Then she says, "Are they waiting for you? How many nineteen year olds are you sleeping with?"

I say, "I don't know. I'm not sure your seeing the people that I'm talking about."

She says, "Describe them to me."

Quietly I say, "The Blonde um she's the leader. Her name is Assassin.

She carries a huge huge silver gun. She's very pretty. Beautiful. Tall and athletic um big boobs."

Then I say, "She has long hair and wears riding pants with knee high black leather boots.

You know the ones that you would wear to say ride a horse or something.

Jennifer looks at me and says, "Oh. Wow. Okay um and the other one."

Looking around for a place to hide I say, 

"The other one is a Brunette. Her name is Stick. She's crazy.

She's also very very pretty. Deep green eyes. Emeralds.

They look a lot alike. Um they are not someone I would invite, anywhere. 

"Stick" doesn't talk. And if she does Assassin smacks her for it.

You can't miss these two. They both have the same tattoo. A tattoo of a Red Wolf."

Jennifer nods and walks back to the front of the store.

She leans over and looks out the window.

She looks at me and puts both of her hands up as if to say, "They're gone."

I walk to the front of the store.

Look out the window and low and behold there they are standing directly in front of the store.

I look at Jennifer.

I say, "Jennifer are you blind? Its them. This is them. The two girls I just described to you."

She looks again and says, "Oh oh.. Oh yes.. Yes you might be right."

I look at her.

She leans over and kisses me and says, "Oops, my bad. Sorry."

I look at them again and Assassin looks directly at me.

She looks at Jennifer and puts her finger in Stick's mouth.

Stick sucks it while Assassin flashes me her giant silver gun.

Then she whispers something in Sticks ear and blows me a kiss.

Stick sucking Assassin's finger holds up her hand as if to say,

"Five minutes. Five minutes. Five minutes."





#204 Posted : Tuesday, August 13, 2013 12:55:46 PM(UTC)
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Okay, I'm back in the office now. 

Its Summer time so we have temps ruining my life everywhere.

Can you believe in this day and age that I can still not get a message from you.

Somehow of all things that they can miss, they miss a message from a four time grand slam champion.

A beautiful Russian international tennis superstar no less.

Its when they get the spelling of your last name wrong, thats what really gets me steamed.

So anyway back to the what you need to know stuff, um its not mine.

We don't have to worry about it. Again.

I think she knows whose it is but doesn't want to tell anyone.

She's in complete denial about it. I don't think she thought that it was still possible.

I told her that we, us, the three of us as a family, would figure it all out together.

Let all the tabloid noise blow over first and then start the process of trying to determine if its mine or not.

She's absolutely positively convinced that its mine.

Um I told her that you and I had a long long talk about that and that it obviously isn't mine.

She wouldn't discuss it after that. 

She kind of looked away and made me feel guilty about me not wanting it to be mine.

I told her that its a blessing and that its not mine, its ours.

I told her it doesn't matter whose it is but what matters is that it is.

I told her no matter what that we can help each other go on.

Be a loving family for whatever happens.

She pulled her hair in front of her face, turned away from me and quietly said, "Its yours."



#205 Posted : Tuesday, August 13, 2013 1:37:26 PM(UTC)
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So we are leaving some event and we are saying good bye to everyone outside.

Lots of hugs and kisses to go around.

You look at me when Angelina and me hug for a long long long time.

And I look at you while you kiss Charlize good night.

Angie tells me that she'll call me as soon as things quiet down alittle bit more.

I say okay and watch her walk to her super jeep.

She truly is a sight to behold, the car is just for kicks.

You finish joking around with Charlize who throws me a kiss and waves good bye.

I smile and wave back.

You walk up to me, take my hand and say, "Are you ready?"

"All night.", I reply. "I've been waiting for you all night."

You just look at me.

The valet brings the car. They open both doors and we hop in on both sides.

You say to me, "Where to?"

I say, "Lets dance some more at home."

We start moving. You tell the driver where he should take us.

You sit right next to me. Your legs draped over mine.

We kiss. You say to me, "That was fun. Why didn't you tell me you were such a good dancer?"

I say, "Trust me I'm not nearly that good. You hide all of my flaws.

Anybody looks good doing anything next to you."

You start playing with my hand. You kiss me again and say,

"So what was that at the end there? You know with Angelina?"

I say, "Nothing nothing. She told me she would call me when she wasn't so busy."

Then I say, "Actually I was more concerned about Jennifer being re-introduced Numero Uno again."

You say, "I thought they wanted it to look right. Not look like they were having a hard time. 

I thought I would try to help them. I wanted it to work out for both sides."

I say, "You were terrific. You showed them that continuing to be angry at each other just isn't worth it.

You know, be bigger than the problem, live bigger. That whatever happened before happened before."

Then I say, "Yeah I was glad you were there because they wouldn't have listened to me.

Ever since Ben its been very very awkward between them. JLo was devastated when they broke up."

Then you look at me and say, "Is it just as awkward for you? You know when you see Britney or

even when you look at Jennifer sometimes? I mean after what Britney did to you?"

I look out the window. Try to ignore the question and focus on anything else.

We aren't moving. Welcome to I-69 the busiest busiest highway in America.

Then you say, "Well?"

I give in and say, "What I had with Britney was complicated.

She's had numerous husbands and boyfriends throughout the years.

When we met she was going through something that happened after something else that happened

that caused something else to happen.

I was rebounding hard after Jennifer. She broke me in two.

Took everything I gave her and gave it to someone else.

When I read the letter she wrote to him, I saw my words, my letter to her.

Everything that I had said to her in bed, written in her hand but addressed to someone else.

Which meant that anything that I said to her didn't mean anything.

That anything I wrote didn't mean a thing.

That I didn't mean anything to her at all."


You just look at me.








#206 Posted : Tuesday, August 13, 2013 2:44:15 PM(UTC)
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So Jennifer and I are walking on one of the numerous trails here behind house number four.

Her property is loaded with these tall tall Redwood trees.

Its rough and tough terrain for biking and great for hiking.

Between her beauty and nature's beauty its about as close to Heaven on Earth as your possibly going to get.

I have never felt this close to Jennifer before.

We were walking in her favorite place, her sanctuary, her piece of mind.


So we are walking down the path and I hear something.

I say to Jennifer, "Did you hear that?"

She says, "Hear what?"

I hold her hand to stop her from walking and I say, "Listen."

I hear people. Many people. They sound like women.

I say to Jennifer, "Do you hear them?"

She says, "No."

I think to myself, "Great, if I'm wrong she going to think God knows what about me."

But then it happens.

We both hear a loud loud laugh.

We look at each other.

I say to her, "Can someone hop a fence to get into your compound?"

She says, "Yeah there's a stream up a-ways. You can get in by boat, by canoe."

I say, "Do you have a lot of people strays? Fans who don't know any better? Paparazzi?"

She says, "No. Not that I'm aware of."

Then she says half laughing, "Remember the time when we went camping with Megan and we got lost

on Clint's ranch and by accident and his wife Dina woke us up with an army of Federal marshals?"

I say, "Yeah that was fun until we almost got shot."

We both laugh.

Then we hear them again. Laughing and carrying on.

I say, "Its a group of girls. College girls."

She says, "I think your right."

I say, "Do you want to call someone or should we check it out ourselves?"

She says, "Lets go."

So we keep walking up the trail.

As we start to get closer we can hear them laughing and shouting at each other.

We come up on a tall tall thick tree and peek around a large large rock just next to the trail.

Jennifer whispers to me, "They're naked."

I whisper back, "You can see them?"

She says, "Yes and they're naked."

I say, "How old do they look to you? How many are there? Men and women or just women?"

She whispers, "They they look like maybe.. late twenties. Maybe thirty. 

Then she says slowly with her mouth wide open, "There are six of them... Six women... They are totally naked."

She looks at me.

I say, "Well what do you want to do? We can call the authorities, but by the time they get here they will be gone."

Then I say, "We could tell them to leave ourselves I guess, I mean you could tell them."

Then Jennifer looks back at me and says, "Why do I have to be the one that has to tell them?"

I say, "You really expect me to walk up to six naked women in the middle of nowhere and have 

a friendly conversation with them? I mean what of they are armed. I don't want to get shot by accident."

Then Jennifer says, "Its alright, your right your right.. Its my property. My problem."

Then she says, "So lets go together."


We get low. We start crawling on our hands and knees.

Jennifer leading the way and me right behind her.

We peek over the trunk of another huge tree.

She's right. There are six women. All completely naked.

College students skinny dipping.

They are standing around talking, eating, and hugging one another.

I whisper to Jennifer, "Why don't we just forget it. They seem harmless enough.

Lets let them have their fun. They probably have no idea where they are.

They have no idea that you own all of this."

Jennifer doesn't say anything.

She's just watching intently.


We end up staying there for awhile.

Watch the girls fool around. Play hide and go seek.

It is a beautiful scene watching them running around the wilderness completely naked.

But somehow it just doesn't sit well with me.

It reminded me of when Angelina invited me to her place out in Arizona.

She was showing me how to charm a huge huge gigantic snake.

And thats when we discovered three beautiful beautiful women swimming naked in one of her pools.

I remember because they were kissing each other like crazy.

Angie turned to me and said, "Friends of yours?"

And I said, "No no I came alone."

We ended up walking away like nothing happened. Angie didn't call anyone.

We just stood there for awhile and watched them instead.

The whole thing. She.. made me watch the them.


This time every time I tried to leave Jennifer would pull me closer to her and say,

"Don't leave. Sit down. Sit next to me."

Then she would smile that beautiful smile of hers and say,

"Five minutes okay? I promise we'll leave in five minutes..."


We stay there















#207 Posted : Wednesday, August 14, 2013 2:57:18 PM(UTC)
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Fine. Enough! Maria sit down and shut up.

Stop whining about your loss yesterday and listen I have something important to tell you.

"Check your six Maria, check your six."

I was in Manhattan yesterday and I thought I saw you downtown in between Soho and Tribeca.

Then I thought I saw you in midtown over by Nike Town near Madison Avenue.

I also thought I saw you in Westchester and then again way way out on the Eastern End of Long Island near the beach.

It wasn't the you I'm accustom to seeing. Unbecoming is an understatement.

Not at all good for Sugarpova sales. 

As for the war My Beloved the battle rages on.

Thor, Liam, Hugh, Aaron, Christian, Channing, David5, Peyton and myself are all fighting them side by side.

David5, the captain, was the one who gave me the idea to give The Red Scarecrows a more prominent role in the fight.

Put them on the front lines and let them have at it. So far the move is paying off.

Now for the bad news, Maria don't come here. This area is still very very much a war zone.

Stay away. I still have multiple hunting parties just two clicks from this location.

They still live here watching the pool every day. Looking for food, ready to hunt.

We'll have to delay our "meeting" for now. Meat up late on night on the dark side of the moon.

You know the gated place where you need a key to get in.

Oh um before I forget, The Jennifers both say hello and they told me to tell you, "You can do it."


Heed this warning Maria. Watch your background. Keep checking in front and behind.

While in town take your team in with you. Your gonna need them.

Tell Jimmy I said, "Don't fix the whole thing. Its not broken. Its just too way way to beautiful to be that lonely."



#208 Posted : Saturday, August 17, 2013 4:01:22 PM(UTC)
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I cant wait to show you what I can do with my new HEAD racquet.

Um your so beautiful that you stink.

When your full grown Maria you'll eat your young.

Make them walk like you. Smell like you. Hunt like you.

Yeah when the pupil becomes the teacher there's going to be Hell to pay in not only the tennis 

world but in the business world as well.


Its so much easier for me to tell you about all the real women using fake names and vice a versa.

This way nobody gets hurt because they don't know which character they are.

If they happen to read this they can't tell which one of them I'm talking about.

I can talk about what we did, how many times we did it, where we did it, and when we did it 

without having to apologize or explain how I felt about it to them.

I have no shame. No regrets. I took them all for granted.

What? Dreams CAN be real to Maria. Reality dreams all the time.

I loved who I believed and didn't trust anyone that lied to me.

But of course I didn't learn anything.

I still have no idea how to get the girl that I want.

The one that acts and speaks just like me.

And thats why I landed here. To learn how to from a true master.


I remember what Alexandra put me through.

The long hard nights. The not being able to tell her the truth.

I tried as hard as I could but she didn't take the bait, The Bette.

I wasn't important for her. She didn't need that kind of a victory.

Whenever Jennifer leaves I'm reminded of her.

Every time I looked at her I felt defeated and every time I looked away I felt the same way.




#209 Posted : Saturday, August 17, 2013 4:37:52 PM(UTC)
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Hi. I'm taking a fabulous  fabulous milk bath.

I just got back from Olivia's wine tasting party.

Olivia Olivia Munn, yeah she's great.

She's great-great-great-great-great.

Jennifer got drunk and starting lashing out at me again so I left.

I bumped into an old friend on the way home.

CC. Her name is CC Collins. She's Chinese.

She's famous for looking like Michelle Wie, you know the great professional golfer.

She strips privately and was heading back home to midtown so I gave her a lift.

And thats when we came here instead and decided to take take a nice milk bath together, free of charge of course.

So anyway she's reading SHAPE magazine.

You know the latest edition, the one with you on the cover.

Reading it right now as I type to you.

She's waving "Hi". She's very pretty. Her eyes don't just say "Hello", they say "Take Out".

She thinks that Jennifer got mad at me because I'm not willing to go through with it.

That I'm not willing to commit. I told CC that I didn't get that from her.

I felt like she just felt like making a scene. You know the wine started talking to her.

CC says that women want drama. Tons and tons of drama.

That its a huge huge part of being in a relationship for them.

They want someone to suffer to get her. Suffer for it.

Make someone change something about themselves to get what he or she wants.

That way everything between them is earned and its so much more worthwhile.

CC says I owe Jennifer an apology. Um in some ways I agree with her.

Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve her.

That I take her for granted just like every body else does and thats why I owe her

an apology because I'm not a part of everybody else to her anymore.

I also think that I've tried to be a friend. Listen to what's on her mind. Not get upset when she interferes.

I mean I know that she's been having me followed. I know she thinks I'm doing something behind her back.

I'm doing no such thing. I told her from the beginning that I didn't want to be swallowed up by her life.

But that didn't mean that I didn't care about her. That I didn't want her.

That meant that while you were away that we would be together when she wanted to be together.


Everything worked in the beginning. I would help her recite her lines.

Watch others recite similar lines. Take a break. Have green tea. Lay down.

Let her lose herself with me. Let her be whomever she wanted to be with whomever she wanted me to be.

Do it all night long over and over again. Let her put her trust in me. Confide in me.

Um it was then that she started liking me too much.

Stood in the doorway and wouldn't let me leave.

Made me choose when there was absolutely no choice at all.

I let it go way way too far. I did exactly what I swore that I wouldn't do.

I became her lover. Which in turn made me her prisoner.

#210 Posted : Sunday, August 18, 2013 8:07:25 PM(UTC)
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I remember being at work and looking at Alexandra and wanting to take her and just run away.

Run far far away from anything and everybody.

Find some island in the Med and show her something she's never ever seen before.

You know, win my uncle's Bette but still be able to show her that she wasn't just a Bette.

Um you should know that those glorious glorious dreams have been completely destroyed by you.

Now, when I sense Alexandra nearby for example heading towards a tanning salon or a health club, I run.

I get in my car and run, run as fast as I can.

And even with that HEAD start I still can't shake her off my tail.

She follows me wherever I go. Haunting me any way she can.

Luckily I found someone to take her place. Someone else to take to the Med.

Someone just as beautiful and athletic. Another girl thats much much smarter than me.

Don't worry I'm going to send you a postcard.

And no this isn't a Bette. I don't have to win anything. Just go and have a good time.

Be a gentleman and wonder how you are and if this is your color or not.

Its funny I used to think about Alexandra every single night.

I worshipped her. I wanted more but would have taken anything.

Um as you know she left without saying good bye and I was totally devastated.

It took me a long long long time to get back to me again. Find me again.

Jennifer showed me how to heal and then she showed me everything that is you...



#211 Posted : Sunday, August 18, 2013 8:56:50 PM(UTC)
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Poor Yelena has no idea what's she's missing.

She really really really needs to see "We're The Millers."


So I'm with Jennifer and we are on our way to the supermarket to pick up a few things.

We of course have to take the long way around because Jennifer insists on not making any left turns.

Our impromtu driving lesson ended up turning into a completely different lesson.

But the great thing about driving all over town to get across the street is that on the way you meet people.

This time we bumped into multi Grammy award winning recording artist Sheryl Crow.

She was driving in the opposite direction and waved hi so we pulled over to stop and chat.

She walks over and hugs and kisses Jennifer on the cheek.

Then she looks at me and starts waving her finger at me and says,

"And you! You have to be better! Be the better person about all of this!"

Jennifer coughs and walks to her trunk to get something out of it.

I say, "Better? Better about what?"

She says, "You have to break it off with her. End whatever this is between you."

Then she says, "Its not a healthy relationship for her to be in and you know from where I speak."

I say, "Sheryl, Jennifer and I are friends. Just like the show that made her famous.

If you must know we've talked many many many times about separating.

One way or another we both end up coming back to each other for more.

For example I went ahead and made plans to go out some place on my own the other night.

I even brought a date Gwyneth Gwyneth Paltrow.

She said that we should hang out some time and I took her up on the invitation to do so.

She's funny AND beautiful so there."

And then before Sheryl could run away with it I said,

"It so much easier to be friends with married women like Angie and Brooke and Jane

because when something or someone else comes up I don't have to explain anything about anything.

There's nobody to have to answer to."


Then I say, "So within ten minutes after we get there who strolls in but none other than

Jennifer and Courteney.

Jennifer looked at me and said, "What brings you here? Why didn't you call me?

Whats with the very very hot very very married actress that your masquerading with as your date?"

That Sheryl is when Gwyneth or whomever my date happens to be for the night says,

"Do you two need a moment?" I usually say, "No no we're fine."

Jennifer says, "Yes I think we could use a moment."

Obviously they, in this case Gwyneth doesn't listen to me and I end up getting the third degree

from Jennifer about my whereabouts and accused of having a secret relationship with Gwyneth

when there is no shred of evidence to say that we are having any relationship of any kind.


Jennifer and I end up accusing each other of doing God knows what with God knows whom

until Gwyneth gets offended cuts in and says, "Are you ready to go? Um I think I should go.

Then she says, "No no its okay, its okay you stay. I'll have Cameron give me a ride back to my place."

And that Sheryl is the last time Gwyneth ever goes anywhere with me ever again.

Then I say, "So please Sheryl, stay out of it. I know your looking out for her best interests.

But so am I. She's a big big girl. Big job. Big everything. She can handle her own affairs.

We appreciate what your trying to do but it really really has nothing to do with you.

Um to be even more clear about it-every time she leaves me I fall apart. 

I completely stop functioning.

After Britney Jennifer reminded me of who I was.

She helped me move on with my life.

Get through the pain of the healing process. She stayed.

Now we are just friends again.

She knows all about Maria and thinks the world of her.

We've all really come together and her friendship is something that I absolutely don't ever want to lose.

If I thought she couldn't handle it, handle me, I'd let her go.

I'd let her go with love. Let her be the woman that she so desperately needs to be. I promise."


#212 Posted : Sunday, August 18, 2013 9:14:15 PM(UTC)
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Hi, I'm missing you.

I think that we should be active um do a lot of out doorsy things together.

Take mountain bikes and ride to the ocean.

Get there by sundown so I can look at you.

Look at how beautiful you are too.

Then maybe a picnic. Fruit and vegetables.

Fresh out of the basket that Jennifer gave me to bring with us.

Look, it even comes with a hand written note..

"My friends enjoy this day together. See the beautiful things that I see in you and take for granted.

Look for what you think it might be because it just might be.

See what you saw in me in each other. See me too."

We both look at the letter and laugh. Its Jennifer being Jennifer again. Fabulous.

We finish and lay down on our huge red blanket for awhile.

Your hair starts changing color in the sun. Its home.

We get up and dust ourselves off.

Start to head back to the compound to wash up before dinner.

You lead the way. Beautiful smile, long legs and all.

Um yeah its nice. It was a chance to finally be alone.

A victory.

#213 Posted : Sunday, August 18, 2013 11:47:13 PM(UTC)
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Yeah yeah your beautiful, shut up and listen.

Word out of JLo's camp is that someone there has been sleeping with the enemy.

That they've been compromised.

I can't go any further into all of the details but i will say that it could end up being

a problem for her down the road if she doesn't take care of it.

She's coming over to pay me for the Bette that she lost to me a few weeks ago.

You know, the "Yours or Mine" Bette.

A Bette that I won when my Dallas Cowboys defeated her Miami Dolphins in football.

I'll know more after that meeting and then maybe you and I can come up with some more

ideas to insure that you get the privacy that you deserve when you are traveling on the road

and living out of a suitcase.

Jennifer is in London promoting "Millers" and I also think that she is getting some face time with 

the latest addition to the Royal Family which of course will bring up the questions about her own pregnancy all over again. 

Which of course leads to yet another late night phone conversation asking me why people

won't just leave her alone and let her have it when she wants to have it.

#214 Posted : Monday, August 19, 2013 4:07:16 PM(UTC)
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Hi. It was my birthday today. 

It was good good, thanks for asking.

At the restaurant last night I thought fondly of both you.

I think that Jennifer is right and that we do need a fourth for some serious doubles action.

Someone we can rely on. Someone that won't stand us up.

Someone polished but not too overly professional. Someone funny funny.

This decision doesn't have to be decided now um lets wait with it for awhile.

Jennifer and I will throw out some suggestions and we'll see what you think.

I personally want another woman as a fourth but Jennifer would prefer to add another guy

for boys versus girls.

I don't know. All guys want to do is take over all the time, I don't.

I'm perfectly okay with you and Jennifer having all the power but if we must have another guy I won't stand in your ways.

Oh yeah before I forget, I wasn't thinking at all about money.

I would rather not say what I was thinking about.

Good, I'm glad we cleared that up again.

So hey um nice, nice everything as usual. Keep up the good work, please.

Its funny when Jennifer and I do it like we haven't done it in ages,

do it like we're saving it, do it like there's nobody left, do it like love doesn't mean anything at all between us..

I think of you my love, I think of you.


#215 Posted : Monday, August 19, 2013 10:58:02 PM(UTC)
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Hi its me. Well well your finally here in Gotham.

My home town New York City.

Obviously you know why I can't come and see you.

It will just have to wait.

I saw you at Equinox but didn't stay.

You looked right at me but I didn't want you to think that I was watching you work out.

I didn't want to disturb you so I left.

I am however planning to go to the launch.

But just don't hold me to it. I'm not promising anything.

I don't want to get your hopes up. If I don't show you'll know why.

I bought a copy of SHAPE and read the interview you had with them.

Very nice. The pictures are great too. 

Gosh I wonder how many of those you signed today. Hundreds I bette.

And to think the US Open hasn't even started yet.

Its a shame that I probably won't be in town to make the launch.

I wanted to show you what I can do with my HEAD racquet. Its a neat neat trick.

Don't worry "The Three Ball Can" will be around if you need him to be.

Just tap your Nike Swoop communicator and I'll beam down to you.

Buy Maria and good luck.

#216 Posted : Tuesday, August 20, 2013 12:07:43 AM(UTC)
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I am going to tell you the same thing i told Jennifer.

I can't wait until nobody gives a damn about you because thats when I will have you all to myself.

I won't have to share you with the rest of the world anymore.

You won't have to get up and leave.

You should know that I'm not looking. That I'm waiting, waiting for you.

I remember the nights of having to go without. Craving to be with a woman. To just be next to one.

Introducing myself. Carrying on casual conversation just to have meaningless passionate sex in the car.

Well no more Maria. No more.

No more moments of intimacy with women that I don't care about.

No more going hungry for love and with nothing to eat.

I'm willing to wait for you but I'm not willing to starve.

I think.


#217 Posted : Tuesday, August 20, 2013 1:38:08 AM(UTC)
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Jennifer looks at the map.

Then she looks at us and says, "Guys I swear it really really was here."

They all look at us, sit down as snowflakes start to fall.

I say to her, "Now can I take a look at the map?"

She finally hands over the map.

Courteney, Britney, and Katy are tired because we've been walking for hours now.

Jennifer has led us deep deep into the woods.

Its starting to get dark and the cabin we are looking for isn't here.

I think that we have to start thinking about setting up camp and trying to make our way 

out of here tomorrow.

Everybody agrees so we put up one big tent that we all can share.

Katy makes us a great great fire. Britney starts singing to take away the chill.

Its a beautiful voice too. When we were together she would sing to me in bed.

Slow songs. Love songs. Ballads. Its the reason I fell for her.

Its the reason why I don't talk about it anymore.

Courteney is busy collecting all the food that we have.

"I think we have enough apples, tuna fish, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to last us 

maybe a couple of days. After that we are going to be in trouble.", she says.

Jennifer and I keep looking at the map trying to figure out where we are.

She says angrily, "I am going to kill Sandra. She said it was here and that she uses it all the time."

Then she says, "She told me she uses it every time they go away."

I hug and her and say, "Jennifer we are here now. Amongst friends. Lets just try to make the best of it.

Tomorrow we'll try to find our way back at first light alright?"

Then I say, "But hey lets not wander off this time okay? Lets stay with the group okay?

No going off on your own by yourself and trying to find it like last time.

Let's just sleep. Rest up for tomorrow, deal?"

She quietly nods yes, kisses me, smiles, and then bites me on the cheek.

Then she says like we aren't lost in the middle of nowhere,

"So where are you sleeping tonight? Anywhere that I should know about.", smiling as she says it.

Looking at the map I say, "In the tent with you guys."

Then I say, "Did Courteney bring the compass with us?

You know what lets try the Samsung phone that Maria gave me, its a beast, its a long shot but it may just work anyway.

Its somewhere in my pack next to the TAG watch that she bought me, you know the one that you won't let me wear."

She turns around and walks back up the hill. 

I hate to do it but she just won't take no for an answer. No matter what predicament she's gotten us into.

Sometimes I wonder if she gets us into these situations just to watch us get out of them.

You know to experience peril so that she can maybe try for other roles that she may not be up for.

I know she wants to try for more dramatic roles but this isn't fun.

Then again maybe she just likes that fact that we are lost "together" and that there is no way that you can reach me.

I look up and there's nothing around us except for trees. There is absolutely no large cabin in sight.


Its getting colder but Katy's fire and Britney's singing should do the trick.

I walk back and the ladies are roasting marsh mellows on sticks.

Its good to see Katy again.

She never ever comes with us anymore because she's friends with Rihanna who hates my guts.

Its a long story, but somehow when RiRi isn't around we are friendly to each other.

Put it all behind us and try to get along.

So I walk up to her standing by the fire and I say, "So hows it going?"

She smiles and says, "Everything is going okay. Um I've got a new record coming out.

I'm excited about it. Its nice to finally get a break even if we are freezing and lost in the middle of nowhere."

I say warming my hands, "Yeah I know what you mean."

Then I say, "You know I thought I saw you at Nine Club the other night. Yeah you were hanging out.

It was dark of course but I thought I saw you there with Taylor Swift.

Um I didn't know you guys hung out."

She says, "Yeah, Taylor's a fun gal. People think they know her but they don't.

They write a lot of crap about her. They start rumors that just aren't true."

Then she says, 'Where at Nine did you see us anyway?"

I say, "Well uh I saw you guys kissing under the stairs um you know the stairs that lead to the VIP area."

She looks at me and calmly says, "No, no that wasn't me you saw. That wasn't us. 

Then she says, "There are a lot of girls who dress like us. Where their hair like us.

They are always trying to stir something up between us. 

No no Taylor and I are just friends. Performers um we enjoy performing."

Then I say, 'Great um do you think that there is a possibility of a "Katy and Taylor" duet in the works?

Maybe a concert or even better yet a movie?"

She says warming her hands on the fire, "No no I don't think so um we both love music way too much to

stop doing what we are doing right now. I think that we both like where are careers are going and like the 

fact that we can both go after the same fan base. Um you know that there's room out there for both of us 

as solo artists to sell records to the same fans. 

Then she said, "I know she loves her fans just as much as I do and for both if us to share the same fans is great

for the both of us."

Then I say, "Um forgive me. I didn't mean to imply anything about the two of you. I just thought I saw you there."

Katy laughs and says, "If it was me do you seriously think that i would tell you that I was there? 

That that was us kissing?", smiling as she said it.

I say smiling, 'Your right your right maybe not. My mistake."

Jennifer runs over to us holding the new Samsung phone that you gave me.

She jumps up and down, kisses me, and says, "Look! It works! It works! We're saved we're saved!"

I look at it and it says that I have an urgent message from "Taylor" with hearts dancing around it.

I think to myself, "Taylor"?  And thats when it dawns on me. 

I hand the phone to Katy.

She looks at me and says, "What?"

I say, "We have the same phone. This one is yours."








#218 Posted : Thursday, August 22, 2013 11:50:11 AM(UTC)
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Well another beautiful day that wouldn't be nearly as beautiful without you in it.

And by the way um what skyline?

i'm sorry you had to withdraw. Maybe lots and lots of rest is the best thing.

I've been thinking about you a lot lately.

In the car. Doing laundry. Out shopping. At the Jim. At work.

in the dark naked under the covers.

I wonder what it would be like but then I think that its all for the best.

The best that we can't be together.

This way I can fall in love without having to touch it.

I can continue to look and it doesn't see me.

I heard this famous song on the radio the other day, "Wrapped Around Your Finger".

And I think that we should have done it but then I realize that your a player and that being in relationship with you

is not a healthy relationship for me to be in.

Um I fell in love with you so fast Maria. Its like driving with no breaks.

Your pushing the pedals for it to stop but nothing happens. You just go.


You'll be missed out there Maria. They take you for granted. They really do.

#219 Posted : Thursday, August 22, 2013 12:37:41 PM(UTC)
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"What do you see when you look into the fire? Do you see me in there? Do you see me too?"

She's scratching my back as we lay there side by side. Her long arm draped over me.

I say, "I see the wood burning. Crackling and popping. I see Christmas.

Maybe some snow to go along with it."

Then she asks me, "You don't see your Maria? You don't see your Jennifer?

I thought they were your holiday, your Christmas this Christmas?"

I say, "I see them all the time, whenever I want, but they can't see me, they um don't have the time."

Then I say, "Thats how they brand you. Burn you. Leave a mark.

That way you can't run. They can always find you. They make sure you can't leave."

I can feel her staring at me. She's looking into me. 

I say, "After being with these two there's nothing left of a man. Just bones. They suck you dry.

Eat you slowly and tell you that they love you over and over again."

Stroking my back she says, "Do you think that I brought you here to do that too? Too eat you slowly?"

I say, "I think all women want to eat me slowly. But I think in my case that they want me to suffer first.

They want to watch me burn for them. Eat my insides. Take my heart out and show it to me.

Show me the love that my heart had for them inside. Bite the love and spit it out at me.

Then I say, "I told them both how I felt and they let me in. They let me get comfortable.

Gave me an assigned seat at a table and made me watch. 

Then after the ceremony was over they took me downstairs.

It was dark. They tricked me. Tied me up so I couldn't move.

They got undressed in front of me. Sat on my lap and kissed me. Shouted at me.

They licked my face. Slapped me. Told me what they were going to do to me.

They wanted me to know who was in charge now. Who had all the power now.

That my everlasting love meant nothing to them. Nothing at all.

That I was just an instrument, a plaything, a toy. Nothing Moore.

When they were finally finished with me, when they were done beating me, I surrendered.

I told them what they wanted to know.

And thats when they went upstairs and had their feast.

Got drunk and laughed about their victory. Their conquest. My demise.

They held up my ring and admired it. Showed it to the crowd.

They promised to lose me inside of their lives. Lose me in their sorted pasts.

Make me disappear.

And thats when I looked up and smiled.

Because in all of that darkness and despair, all of that pain and anguish, I got what I wanted.

I got lost in Jennifer and found Maria."

Heidi just looked at me.

#220 Posted : Thursday, August 22, 2013 3:24:56 PM(UTC)
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Um about my orgasm the other night in the stables.

We were together and we shared a girl. She was very pretty. Famous. Blonde.

Um I let it happen, I finally decided to let myself enjoy it for a change.

My imagination started running wild clicking from frame to frame.

You were in the middle of course um we were sharing you.

I went down and put my mouth on it. I found you and kissed it really hard.

Held your thighs open and took you there while she held your face and sucked on your lips.

I felt your hand on the back of my head pulling me in, back and forth and back and forth.

With your hips matching my every stroke I stayed down so I could watch you.

Watch you kiss her wildly, sucking everything there was to suck off of her.

I followed her eyes as she smiled and looked down at me. She wanted in too. She wanted to dig too.

So I pulled her down to me and closer to you.

And with your long legs high up in the air we each took turns, took a side and shared you.

Devoured what was left and spit it back in. Licked the bowl of milk clean.

We held you down to open it for more to make sure that there was nothing left.

We watched you lose it. We watched you reach it. We watched you say..

"I love you two."


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