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spete30141
#141 Posted : Tuesday, May 28, 2013 11:03:10 AM(UTC)
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Hi. Don't you hate it when somebody close to you


gets in the habit of taking you for granted and then apologizes for it over and over again?


And they apologize so often that the apologies don't mean anything anymore.


I also hate it when people don't show up on time.


At least call ahead and say I've been delayed or I'll be there soon.


But don't show up a half an hour after the fact and tell me that you got tied up.


Don't waste my time. Don't play God. Don't disrespect me.


If I make the time to make a good time, make time too.


Look presentable. Give a damn. Heels!


Don't take yourself too seriously. Feel good about yourself in your own skin.


I'm tired of these girls showing up late looking like God knows what.


And me always getting the excuse of, "My third cousin blah blah blah.."


And BS like, "Were on our way right now. No were still stuck in the parking lot."


And the excuse is always about someone I don't know,


someone I could care less about that had to pick up whatever from wherever for whomever.


And my next thought while on hold is, "Their coming too?"


When did first dates turn into meeting me and ALL of your "Friends"?


Also I can't stand calling someone who can't answer their own phone.


Especially if its a girl and we have a date that night.


You call her and someone else answers.


They tell you to please hold.


Then someone else comes back and tells you miss so  and so can't talk now.


Then they say, "Would you like to leave a message with me?"


Which does me no good because whomever I'm speaking with has NO IDEA what's really going on.


So I can't leave a message except to say, "Could you please have her call me back. Thanks."


(paws)


I don't mean to bring you into all this Maria.


I mean your an Olympic medalist, a grand slam champion, a super model, a fantasy.


Nobody in their right mind would not show up on time.


Much less not call.


And no guy worth his salt is bringing his "Friends" along with him to meet you.


Anyway, whatever, it doesn't matter its done.


Look, I hope your having fun in Paris.


If it rains think of me and buy some tulips.


If it rains here I'll make sure and buy you the most beautiful beautiful thing that I have ever ever seen.


Yes Maria. She really really is.


 


 

spete30141
#142 Posted : Tuesday, May 28, 2013 3:29:00 PM(UTC)
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Hi. You are so beautiful Maria. Crazy crazy beautiful.


I feel like I'm on a runaway train and I can't get off.


You make me uncomfortable.


I panic at the thought of losing you.


In my dreams I'm running away from you.


I'm not sure what I am going to do.


I've been saying good bye for weeks now.


Just to eventually come back here to tell you how I feel.


Its embarrassing.


Bey told me hiding in the dark once that,


"If you like someone enough nothing else matters.


And then when you fall in love with them its like looking in a mirror.


You see yourself."


Don't worry I'll be fine.


I've got a really good back up plan.


A plan B.


He said he would help me.


Help me forget about you.


I asked him if I saw you at a party talking to someone else 


and you saw me see you, would i be able to walk away?


He said, "Walk away? I think so.


Don't worry. We have someone in mind for you.


She is special too. Special like this, Maria."


I just looked at him.


Its not as spoiled as it sounds.


I didn't discriminate.


I had friends that had something and I had friends that had absolutely nothing at all.


It didn't matter.


It had to be that way.


When they see it all they judge you.


And if you have it you can't talk about it.


So when they see it after not telling them about it, they change.


And whatever it is you think you had with them is gone.


You become strangers.


Its a harsh reality.


A cruel joke on The Wanted.

spete30141
#143 Posted : Wednesday, May 29, 2013 2:44:24 PM(UTC)
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Hi. Its raining here again.


I don't think its God crying this time.


I don't think the rain are his tears.


Jennifer broke up with me.


She had enough.


She didn't like the whole Bette idea.


We were in bed reading to each other.


She was rehearsing her part in the scenes and I was going along with it and trying to read the other parts.


Then suddenly she jumped up and said,


"I'm not happy with the party. Lets not have it here."


Then she said, "I got it! Change of venue. Lets have the party at my new place."


I said, "What new place?"


She said excitedly, "The new place that I am going to buy! 


Come on! It will be fun! It will be the housewarming party of all housewarming parties!


Same friends. Same reason. Different place.


We'll let them write about that instead of what's really going on."


Then I said, "Um, why what's really going on?"


She looked at me.


She got quiet. Looked away.


I said, "Hello? Earth to Jennifer, are you still here?"


She grabbed my hand. Pulled me out of the bed.


I said, "Where are we going?"


We walked downstairs and into the living room.


She was leading me to the couch.


Then I said, "Are you okay?"


We sat down.


She looked at me.


I said, "Jennifer your scaring me. Tell me what's going on."


She cupped my face with her hands.


Looked deep into my eyes.


She started getting upset.


I wasn't sure what to do.


Then she said, "We can't be us anymore."

spete30141
#144 Posted : Wednesday, May 29, 2013 2:55:33 PM(UTC)
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Hi. Keeping busy. Very.


Throwing myself into my new job.


Oh I didn't tell you.


I started working for Jay Z.


Yeah Bey set the whole thing up.


Got him to stand down, thank God.


He wanted to thank me for hiding his wife and asked me if I needed anything.


I told him that I could use a Summer job since my teaching gig usually


slows down over the Summer.


So he hired me to be his personal assistant.


I almost turned him down because of the relationship that I have with Bey.


She's a good good friend and would hate to jeopardize our friendship in any way.


But how do you say no to Jay Z?


So I took it.


So far its steady work. Nothing I can't handle.


Off the books, on my own time.


I come and go as I please.


I'm not sure that she knew what I would be doing for him though.


It caught me by surprise too.

spete30141
#145 Posted : Wednesday, May 29, 2013 3:18:18 PM(UTC)
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Hi.


I'm still very much in love with you.


Yes I am.


My uncle, the nice one, is setting everything up.


He's making all of the arrangements.


This isn't the first time. The first Bette.


The last time, the girl, the mortal if I may, Alexandra,


was seeing someone else at the time.


So I lost the Bette and lost something very near and dear to me.


This is just another chance to get back what I lost before.


Its uncomfortable.


I don't like standing around.


Waiting for permission.


Giving up control.


Especially when it comes to women.


I'm referring to this Bette business.


The can you take her to bed Bette.


Its something sexist.


Its something not me.


Its something that I don't want to do.


I have never understood these initiation practices.


These "Man up, are you with us" rituals.


As a mortal I always thought family was family no matter what.


I don't think they mean anything buy it.


This uncle, my favorite uncle, is a good man. A giving man. A god.


Like Zeus watching over his children, he watches over me too.


I think sometimes he just gets bored.


Wants me to engage in something out of the ordinary.


And he just decided in all of his wisdom that this Bette should happen again.


Um saying no to him just doesn't exist.


And this time is going to be even more difficult than the last time.


Maria, I have to go there with no one else in my heart.


Go there and participate willingly.


This is why I had to ask him for more time.


I didn't tell him what the delay was.


I didn't tell him about you.


Look I just wanted you to know that the Bette is still on.


The Bette lives.


I'm just taking some time to clear my heart.


Think it all through.


Run away from you.


Run further away as fast as I can.


 


 


 


 


 


 


 

spete30141
#146 Posted : Tuesday, June 04, 2013 4:01:51 PM(UTC)
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Hi. Its raining here. Pouring.


I finally know who Britney is.


I know what she really stands for now.


What she means to me.


Yeah your write, I need to move on.


Run away from her and never ever look back.


She leveled my place. Broke me in two.


Made me see the truth.


It almost destroyed me. Ruined me for other women.


At least there is still time. Time for me to rebuild.


Enough time for me to put my collar back up.


Wear my name tag. Watch them grow.


Hopefully you can show me how to improve my serve 


and I can show you something you don't have and can never get.


Something I didn't know I had until it showed me something I couldn't see on my own.


(paws)


My adopted father, one of the Men of Means,


one of the ones who helped build the city,


the sly fox that hunted with the great great lions,


has been injured and needs triple bypass surgery.


The procedure was cancelled due to a lung infection.


He is recovering now and is due to have the surgery on Friday.


(paws)


When you get here I'll make sure to bring the bigger umbrella.


You know the one that walks, talks, and smiles.


The one we saw in the window and fell in love with.


The one in the mirror.


The one that spoke to us and said, "We love you too."


Always my deer. Always.

spete30141
#147 Posted : Thursday, June 06, 2013 10:06:20 AM(UTC)
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Hi. Your all I think about.


There is so much to tell you.


So much to explain. So much I just can't say.


I want you and I can't have you.


Its the part of the Bette that I don't like.


So I'm going to the beach on Saturday.


I won't be going alone. I'm never alone.


You know what its like.


You go they go.


You leave they leave.


You stop they stop.


You suddenly pull over and they all drive right past you.


Ten of them at least.


You understand. 


I mean your a grand slam champion.


Anyway, Saturday we all go.


I'm going to write you a letter.


Confess my everlasting love to you.


Maybe not.


Sorry I'm not that easy.


I'd rather do it the "Jennifer " way.


Make it hard, harder than its ever been before.


C'mon Maria, lets make it worth it.


Lets make it last.


Um I'll write your name in the sand.


Darling I'll write your name wherever I go.


 

spete30141
#148 Posted : Thursday, June 06, 2013 10:37:36 AM(UTC)
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Hi. I wanted you today. All day.


I wanted you everywhere I went.


Mornings are always the hardest.


I wake up and your not here.


I go out to eat breakfast and its not you that I'm with but someone else.


Don't worry I'm fine. She's great.


Loved me when nobody else would.


I bought her the puppy and it worked.


Um this only happens when I'm not throwing myself into my work.


When I finally get a chance to kiss all of the tulips.


Learn even more about what I already now. 


(paws)


I check-in from time to time. Take a peak.


See what your up two. See how things are going.


I'm still in love.


Still looking for a way out.


I think this separation idea you had is finally working.


You do what you need to do and I let you do what you need to do.


And now I'm not feeling my best.


Wondering if I meant anything at all.


Wondering if I said something that I shouldn't have.


Wondering if I shouldn't have told the truth.


I miss you Beloved.


Its written in my eyes, my walk, my coffee.


Sometimes I dream that we don't know each other.


That we never met.


That you don't have feelings for me.


That when you said yes you only said to be with someone else.


That I agreed to go along with it anyway.


That we have an agreement. A pact.


That we would only do it on her terms.


She stays in control and all we have to do is what she says to do,


when she says to do it.


You get what you want.


She gets what she wants.


And I get what's left.


Something I didn't ask for.


Something I didn't take for granted.


Something hidden in the dark that only you and I can see.


Something beautiful, something you.


Something in my heart.


Something in the mirror.


Something I may never ever see again.


 


 


 

spete30141
#149 Posted : Thursday, June 06, 2013 4:49:17 PM(UTC)
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Hi. Its very late here. Raining hard.


Listening to "For You", by Kenny Latimore.


Jennifer is a beautiful beautiful person.


She was just here.


She was hysterical. Upset. 


Panicking and had to see it all for herself.


She had a nightmare and wanted to make sure that it wasn't true.


She dreamt that you and I were getting married.


That she was on the outside looking in.


She told me that she couldn't get in to stop the wedding.


That everybody was there.


She said she only received an invitation in the mail and that she was supposed 


to sit on the brides side at the "Chris Evert Lloyd Norman" table.


Not your table and not at any table on my side, the groom's side.


She said that all the tables had signs on them and were named after great tennis players.


Your side was named after great female players like Venus, Serena, Stefi, and Martina.


My side was named after great male players like Andre, Connors, McEnroe, and Lendl. 


She was distraught as she told this to me.


I had to get her to relax.


I got her a glass of water.


She was talking and sobbing, touching me as she said it all.


She said that she could see us at the front.


Our table facing everyone on a big big stage.


She said you were wearing a dress with a huge huge train


and people had to go with you anywhere you went.


Then she stopped, took a sip of water, gathered herself, and took a deep breath.


And told me that she wasn't dressed.


That she was only wearing my dress shirt trying to get inside.


She said she told them who she was and the people at the door laughed


and told her to go home or they would call someone to take her away.


She said that nobody recognized her.


That hundreds of people didn't recognize the most beautiful Jennifer in the world.


She said she left and climbed up on a ledge on the side of the place to watch.


She said she saw many famous people including the Russian prime minister and the Russian president.


My family, your family, some hollywood people, and many many sports people.


She said she was banging on the window screaming and nobody looked.


Nobody could see or hear her.


She said as we got up to get started she saw Courteney and started screaming.


Then she said that she saw herself in a gown sitting next to Courteney laughing, smiling, and carrying on.


Drinking a glass of champagne without a care in the world. She was watching herself.


And thats when she said she woke up, got semi dressed, got in her car and drove over here in the pouring rain.


(paws)


I didn't know what to say.


She had a bad dream so I let her talk it out.


I let her see for herself that all of this wasn't happening.


That we weren't married and had no plans to get married.


That everything was alright.


That I was still getting over Alexandra.


And that you were with someone else.


I let her know that there was nothing going on behind her back.


I told her we loved her.


She was weeping now. Crying to me.


I couldn't understand anything she said.


I pulled her close to me and did what had to happen.


I kissed her.


 


 


 

spete30141
#150 Posted : Friday, June 07, 2013 2:28:48 PM(UTC)
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Hi. Your so both. I love it.


I saw Paris today.


She's looking mighty mighty fine these days.


Creamy.


I think next Fall I am going to bring my students together more often.


You know have more group discussions, have more "group therapy".


Get them more involved with each other.


I Bette you would make a great great guest speaker.


Someone that comes from them. Understands their side of it.


Unflappable, undettered by rumour or heresay.


Willing to openly discuss issues that concern yourself and others like you.


Like for example if it happens between us and its glorious, fulfilling, awe inspiring, and everlasting,


when its all said and done, which of us sleeps in the wet spot?


Which of us is willing to take that last great step towards unconditional love?


Which of us will be willing to compromise?


Let the other be happy for the sake of just being finally happy together.


Come to think of it I think you would do it.


I think you would look at me and just not move out of the way.


We would cuddle and then you would do it for me.


You know cuddle in the puddle.


Put my mind at ease and sleep in it.


When Jennifer and I do it afterwards I always sleep in the puddle.


There's just no getting around it. Its what we do.


We try to make the bed into a lake but it turns into an ocean.


Jennifer is relentless.


She likes to turn it all up as high a she possibly can.


Deafening.


She's no different when it comes to this.


She's open and honest and loving and giving all at the same time.


When your with her you can let it all go.


You can trust that she'll catch you if you fall.


She's really good at getting in there and finding it all out.


Digging in, holding on, and nuturing you. Your name withheld.


Its funny her being a megastar and all, larger than life, the epitome of stardom,


is just like the rest of us in the dark, pressed up against you for warmth.


She takes to you. Takes her time. 


Wants you to reach for it. Go beyond full.


Fair in her words and free in her beauty.


I was absolutely tortured when I met this woman.


A tortured soul. I had nothing left.


Britney was my downfall. Alexandra my end.


Jennifer revived me.


Let me know that I was still here and still capable of loving someone, 


not just for love but to love someone to be in love.


She gave me me back.


And this is why I hold her so deer, so very very close to me.


If it weren't for Courteney and then Jennifer I would have never ever met you.

spete30141
#151 Posted : Saturday, June 08, 2013 6:31:50 PM(UTC)
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Hi. I look at you. Beautiful you.


I brush your hair out of your eyes.


I tell you its time to go, we have to leave.


You don't want to go again. And I certainly don't want you to leave.


Jennifer walks in from the bathroom wearing a robe her hair wrapped up in a towel.


She says, "I'm never staying here ever again. They screwed everything up.


What's it going to take for me to ever get what I want in this world."


We just look at her.


Then she says, "Did I miss something?"


You kiss me, touch my face, my forehead, we start rolling around on the bed.


You start digging your face into my crotch.


Making growling noises. Playing.


I don't understand. You keep coming at me. 


I say to you, "Okay okay, enough, its time to go."


You wrap your legs around me, laughing as you do it.


I try to break free but I can't.


Jennifer gets on the other side of the bed.


Grabs my hands putting a halt to my quick escape.


You start pulling my clothes off while Jennifer tries to keep me on the bed.


Your laughing now telling me how I'm gonna get it.


How I am gonna pay.


Suddenly Jennifer pulls me off the bed with you still hanging on to me.


We both hit the floor tangled in the sheets and blankets.


Jennifer drags me away from you and tries to sit on my face.


It her favorite wrestling move. Her finishing move.


Its the way she likes to win.


You jump on top of me too and I'm fighting both of you now.


Bey walks in. 


We all stop. Look up at her all of us out of breath.


She says, "What's going on in here?"


I see you smile at her. I look at her.


She smiles at me.


Jennifer starts fighting me again.


She goes back to to trying to sit on my face.


I arch my back upward as to make a bridge to escape but Bey straddles me.


Sits on me and says to you, "Good idea, he had this coming for a long long time now."


Smiling as she says it.


I'm fighting all three of you now.


Somehow I break free but have nowhere to run.


All of you on top of me everywhere I go in the room.


You keep pulling me down. Down to your level.


Not letting me go. Making me see you while I fight all of you.


Whispering unspeakable things to me in my ear.


I'm struggling to get Bey off of me. She just won't get off of me.


Her face in my face holding me down.


Jennifer standing over us saying, "Do you know what you've done?


Do you know how much trouble you've caused?


Aniston and Cox! Aniston and Cox! Aniston and Cox!"


She kept saying it over and over again.


Sometimes laughing sometimes not.


You right next to me watching me fight Bey your hand on my crotch your tongue in my ear. 


Telling me things I didn't do.


Whispering things to me things that I don't know anything about.


I say to you out of breath, "What are you talking about? That wasn't me. I'm innocent."


Bey starts licking my face. Her sweetness in my eyes, my nose, my mouth. 


She's smiling watching me squirm to break free, watching me trying to get Jennifer's toes out of my mouth.


Then almost out of nowhere Courteney walks in.


We all stop thank God.


She says, "Come on come on, we gotta go. Everybody is waiting!


Get off of him. Save it for the way there. Let's go. Jennifer let's go.


No tricks this time."


So all of you slowly get off of me.


Then Bey punches me in the stomach and kisses me on the cheek.


Stands up, throws my jeans at me, leans down grabs my face and says,


"This isn't finished. Get dressed. Your ass is mine."


 


 


 

spete30141
#152 Posted : Saturday, June 08, 2013 7:08:46 PM(UTC)
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Hi. I'm standing in a huge huge church.


Next to my three uncles, the three Great lions.


All of us waiting for the ceremony to start.


All of us waiting for my bride.


I turn to look around.


Its a sea of people. A whose who of everybody I ever watched or read about.


There are cameras and lights everywhere.


I'm nervous. Relaxed but nervous.


My first uncle, my favorite uncle, the one that paid for this event.


The one that likes to make all the Bettes says to me,


"Relax. Don't worry. She loves you. She loves you as much as we do. Only you."


Smiling as he says it.


I thank him as he hands me an envelope.


Then my second uncle walks up to me.


The one that is always in the middle of everything. 


He pulls out a small box from his pocket and hands it to me.


I say, "Uncle what's this? I already have a ring."


He says, "Show it to me."


I pull the ring out of my pocket. 


Its a diamond ring. Simple. What I could afford.


He looks at it and laughs.


Then he says, "No no that is not a ring. This is a ring."


He opens the box and in it is this huge huge ring.


Something I can't afford.


I look at him.


He says, "You can pay me back for it.


Show her who you are with this ring.


Show her how much you love her with this ring.


Show her how much you love her in front of the entire world."


I just look at him.


He shakes my hand and goes to talk to my first uncle.


Then my third uncle walks up to me.


The one who didn't want this to happen.


The one who gives me a hard time.


The one that came after me.


Hunted me down. Scolded me.


The one that said, "He went rogue. He made a mistake and must be taught a serious serious lesson.


A lesson that will stay with him for the rest of his life. A lesson he will learn from.


He looks at me.


A towering figure of a man. His billions, his hard work in his face.


His displeasure with me in his eyes.


His mercy the only thing from keeping him from killing me.


He says with a growl, "We have an understanding, yes?


You know what not to do ever again, right?


I don't want to receive anymore phone calls.


No more lapses in judgement. You are allowed back only because I allow you to be back.


Your father is the reason you are here. He is the reason I am here.


Don't test me again."


He looks at me turns around and walks away.


I can feel the hairs on the back of my neck standing straight up.


I take a deep deep breath.


Everybody gets into position, me next to my best man my Dad.


The music starts and we watch you arrive.


We watch my beautiful beautiful bride finally arrive.


 


The music 


 

spete30141
#153 Posted : Tuesday, June 11, 2013 11:40:26 AM(UTC)
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Hi Its me. Your training again LOL.


Just a little travel humor there. Don't mind me.


NOW HEAR THIS.


Captain's log stardate 69-69-69.


The Maria Episode, episode Number 2 in the World,


"The Klingons are Coming, the Klingons are Coming."


I have a fun idea. Whenever you can get away lets play Star Trek Voyager.


You know, the refreshing one with the female captain in charge.


I'll be Neelix because I want you and you can be Seven of Nine.


I figured you'd would want to be her since your friends with Bjorn Borg and all.


And when were finished we can go eat, come back, and I'll make you my dreamy Hirogen ice cream.


After we devour that you can assimilate us.


Make our minds one.


Na no probes. We don't need them because Jennifer is coming too.


This way the three of us can boldly go where no one has gone before.


I have a big big ship Maria if you want I'll show you every deck,


every flight recorder, every milky way, every emergency beam out.


Come to think of it Maria I'm not this way.


I don't sleep around. I don't waste my time.


But you Beloved get under my skin.


Make me wait wonder and want.


I'll get the ship ready.


I can't wait to make Number Two my Number One.


I just can't wait.


 


 

spete30141
#154 Posted : Wednesday, June 12, 2013 1:20:36 PM(UTC)
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Hi its me.


I had another dream.


It starts with us in bed again.


You just finished your match only to rush back and have another.


The second match was a lot closer.


We stop and you start talking to me, your voice filling our quiet room.


You say, "That was a nice win to get off of a good player."


I say, "Me too.", smiling as I say it.


You turn over on your side and look at me.


Your hair undone. Your tennis skirt still half on you.


I say, "Are you still hungry?"


You say smiling, "Starving, yeah why?"


Then I say, "I'm talking about food Maria, just food."


You just look at me smiling that sinister grin that the outside world never sees.


It all fades away to Jennifer walking with me.


We are walking to her place.


Her umbrella over our heads the wet sand at our feet.


She looks at me and says, "I'm being serious."


I say, "So am I. You saw her first, you pointed her out to me.


You want her just as much as I do."


The ocean rushing up to our feet.


Then I say, "She leaves tomorrow. Do you want to go back and kidnap her.


Take her hostage. Tie her to the bed that spoke to you and say,


"We love you Maria don't leave."


Jennifer looks at me her face slowly fades away taking the beach along with her.


I'm in the car now. I'm in the middle of the convoy of six.


Britney is in the car in front of me.


Bey is following closely behind me blasting her music so I can hear it.


Giving me the look and the finger as she drives.


She's listening to "DOT" which wasn't written for me but seems to be working just fine for her now.


We pull into the parking lot. Wait for the army of bodyguards to get out first.


Britney gets out of her car and walks over to mine and says,


"We shouldn't have left. It was getting good. You have to get over Paris.


I look at her while pulling up to the valet. Britney is hot.


I give him money.


I turn to her and say, "When this happened to you I didn't say a thing.


When you suddenly wanted to leave I left with you because you saw something you didn't want to see.


I left with you. I did what a friend would have done."


Bey pulls up. Its loud.


She gets out of her car and throws her coat and some money at me.


Looks at me and says, "Park it."


I pick the money up off the ground.


Look at the valet and say half smiling, "Would you mind."


I give him all fifty.


He says, "Yes, no problem. They will all be right upfront when you are ready to leave."


I thank him.


Then Bey says to me, "You need to decide what you want to do. I'm not the Queen of tennis.


I'm not your ex. I'm not number two. Don't expect us to wait on you like she did."


My phone rings. Its you.


Bey watching my words, every move I make.


I look at them and say, "I'd better take this."


Bey says with her arms wrapped around Britney, "Yeah but the real question is take it where." 


I turn around.


I say, "Hi. Please don't tell me you finally want to meet with me right now."


You say quietly, "Yes right now. Why?"


I turn around.


I look at Britney.


She wants me to be strong, say no to you, she wants me to hang up the phone.


She starts flexing, showing me her latest new body.


You know the one that says hello for her.


The body that needs no introduction.


Then Bey says angrily, "Are you ready? Let's go. Not on my time, don't even think about."


I turn around.


I say, "Where are you?"


You say, "My match just finished. I was lucky to win.


I just walked in and I'm lying on the bed waiting for you.


I'm still dressed. Still sweaty. Mustache intact.", your smile making my phone vibrate.


I turn around again.


Bey says, "Well? Can we go now?"


I turn back around.


You say, "I called Jennifer. She's on her way.


I thought that is what you would want. Both of us together. Apart. In your arms."


I tell you to hold on.


I turn around.


Bey and Britney slowly start fading away.


My phone disappears.


I'm back on the beach.


I'm alone.


But there's someone in the distance, someone walking towards me.


Its a woman.


I can't make her out.


She's holding up a sign.


It says.. I HAD NO IDEA.


She's standing in front of me now. Right in front of me.


Her face blurred. I can't see her.


I try to talk but nothing happens. Nothing is coming out. I have no voice.


I reach out to touch her to see if she is real.


She gently pushes my hand away.


She holds up the same sign and it says.. I'M SORRY


I can't make the face out.


I can see the body, the arms, the legs but not the eyes, the nose, or the mouth.


She's familiar anyway.


Someone I was in love with.


Someone I said no matter what to.


Then I hear Jennifer calling out to me.


I turn around and she's waving to me.


She's holding a sign.


It says  MARIA ME.


She keeps coming closer. Its her. Its Jennifer.


She's dressed in just my dress shirt.


I say to her, "Can you see who this girl is? Can you see her face?"


She says, "What girl?"


I turn back around.


She's gone.


All that left is the the sign still laying in the sand.


I pick it up and all it says is.. JLO.


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 

spete30141
#155 Posted : Wednesday, June 12, 2013 5:03:24 PM(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member

Groups: BasicUsers
Joined: 2/19/2013(UTC)
Posts: 281

Was thanked: 1 time(s) in 1 post(s)

Hi its me. Every time I see you.


Slowly but surely your making your way back to my time.


The time when we wake up and sleep together.


Um Jennifer and I went out to eat.


She took me to a place that I had never heard of.


It was nice. Healthy. Very Jennifer.


We had yet another long long talk about you.


She wanted to know what happens next, you know what we should do about you.


I'm not going to get into it now. I'm relaxing. 


I will say that after we talked about it she was much more forthcoming about what is bothering her.


We had an open and honest discussion. No finger pointing. No guilt. No reading into anything.


She was delightful. Beautiful. Jennifer.


We had such a good time that we ended up closing the place down.


We even made room to dance when the place has no dance floor.


She is a good good dancer.


And her eyes make slow dancing even slower.


Afterwards we pulled ourselves together and said her good-byes,


which can take up to twenty minutes even if there is nobody there.


The place she took me to is in a tall tall building on the 50th floor.


Its one of those places that doesn't look like what it is.


She gets invited all the time but she never eats.


I always end up with her plate too.


So anyway we leave. I'm slightly drunk since I don't drink.


Were waiting for the elevator. Its quiet. There's nobody here.


She whispers to me, "Why are you so quiet?"


I whisper back, "Should I make some noises?"


She hits me with her purse.


"Be good" she says. "You promised."


I say, "Your right. I did. I promised."


Then I say, "You looked great tonight. You look great every night.


I still don't know how you do it. You live up to their expectations.


You show them why. You show them something that I knew the moment I stopped looking at Courteney."


She turns to look at me.


Then I say, "You should be impressed. Not looking at Courteney is very difficult thing to do."


She says, "Thank you but I don't do it for them."


Then I say, "I know you don't do it for me because I would never ask you to do such a thing."


She turns to face forward again.


Presses the down button.


"Where is the elevator? she says.


I say, "You were doing this long before you ever ran into me.


You've been breaking hearts for what seems like an eternity.


I know your not doing it to impress me. And if you are please don't.


I like you regardless. 


Pretty not pretty. Dressed not dressed. Makeup no makeup.


I like you anytime I see you.


Don't change anything for me. I love everything exactly the way it is."


She doesn't look at me.


She's sulking.


I take her hand and slowly pull her closer to me.


We hug. She's shapely. A great hug.


Her head on my chest. Her eyes in my heart.


Then she says still hugging me, "Why do you keep putting distance between us?


Why can't we just be together? Why can't I just look pretty for you?"


We stop hugging. I look at her. Lift her face up to look at me.


I say, "Because we can't. Your in love with someone else and so am I."


Ding! The elevator arrives. 


The doors open. We step in.


I hit L button.


We both stand there watching the floors counting down.


Jennifer leans over and presses the emergency stop button.


The elevator stops.


I say calmly, "Jennifer um what are you doing?'


She smiles takes my arms and wraps them around her waist.


We start kissing.


She presses the emergency stop button, still kissing me.


The elevator starts going down.


She starts telling me that I'm not going anywhere.


We reach the lobby.


Ding! the elevator doors open.


Were kissing because we just can't stop.


The elevator door closes.


I lean over to push the "doors open" button.


Jennifer pulls my hand away and presses the top floor.


She turns off the lights and we take another ride.


 


with all my love.


 


 


 


 

spete30141
#156 Posted : Thursday, June 13, 2013 3:57:05 PM(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member

Groups: BasicUsers
Joined: 2/19/2013(UTC)
Posts: 281

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Its raining as you pull up.


They open the door for you and you get out.


Your smile waving to all the cameras, the applause, and the cheering.


Your Stella is your arrival. You look radiant.


You walk in talking to someone else.


They stop you and give you your number.


The lights, the ropes, the red carpet shielding you from it all so you don't get wet.


You enter and I'm across the room looking at you as people pass between us.


Your smiling, greeting, laughing.


Your hands moving as you talk as if to explain your point of view even further.


You want to get your point across. Be taken more seriously.


Not just a strong pretty face but a business savvy one too.


I of course went completely unnoticed and entered the place through the kitchen.


Its not nearly as glamorous but I hate to wait.


The affair is in full swing, the party underway.


Everybody knows where they should be. 


Where to stand to get their picture taken.


Your slowly making your way further into the middle.


You are truly beautiful.


I am standing near the refreshments nursing an orange juice.


Its not nearly as glamorous but its effective.


I can't take my eyes off of you.


I'm watching you smile, hug someone hello.


Watching you watching others talk to you.


Watching you watching others with other people.


Um you don't see me. I'm not there. I never am.


You have so many people standing around you there is no way you could see me.


I look away for a moment.


Wonder if your with any of the guys that are standing around you.


I look back at you again.


Your still talking. Still laughing. Having a good time.


I decide that I feel good.


That I should take a chance.


I finish my drink and slowly start walking in your general direction.


I feel a hand on my lower lower back.


Its Jennifer.


She says, "Where are you going?" tapping me on the backside as she says it.


I say, "I don't know. The middle. I'm going to go see whats going on in the middle."


"Oh, can I come with you?" she asks.


I say, "Yes um I would be honored".


I give her my arm and we start slowly walking in your general direction.


I tell her she looks beautiful.


She flips her hair and says, "Then why are we walking into the middle?"


I say, "Not here. Lets not do this here. Lets have a good time tonight, okay?"


She says, "So if we don't walk into the middle we are having a bad time?"


We stop. I look at her.


She says hello to someone. Introduces me. 


"How do you do", I say shaking a hand.


She smiles to say good bye and pulls me in the wrong direction, away from the middle.


So after a few steps I stop us. 


I turn us around.


I look at her.


She has that look in her eye.


The I'm not going to make a scene but your taking me home no matter what look.


She says, "Why are we stopping, I want a drink."


I turn and look at you.


You don't see us. You never do.


Your kissing her hello. I've seen her before.


"Hello? Why are we stopping?" Jennifer asks loudly breaking my concentration.


She's such a beast. A hungry shark.


You have to give her everything you have if she hasn't eaten all day.


Especially when she thinks she's found her next meal, when she thinks she doesn't have to look any further.


When a simple "good night" isn't said until sometime the following day.


I look at her and her big green eyes.


Her body making the dress even more beautiful.


I think to myself what am I doing.


I can have what I want right here.


The one in the middle doesn't even know that we exist.


We start walking back toward the middle.


Jennifer bringing everybody with her as we walk.


We stop again. They greet us.


King of Somewhere wants a picture with Jennifer.


I step aside.


She turns to me and says loudly so everyone can hear it,


"Wait right here, understand, I'll be right back."


She walks away with everybody who stalks with her.


The room getting darker as I look around. Your not there.


Then the room gets brighter again.


Bey walks up to me. 


She looks stunning, Valentino I think.


"What are you doing here?" she says.


I say, "I'm here with Maria. I'm being supportive."


Then I say, "Um show me. Let me see you."


She gives me her hand and she twirls around slowly for me.


She's a magnificent creature.


I say, "My god looking like this, where pray tell is the other half?"


"Talking to ball players." rolling her eyes as she says it.


Then she says, "He's throwing himself into it. Its all he talks about.


It makes him happy so I'm happy too." half smiling as she says it.


I look at her as if to say okay.


Then I say, "Well I know what that like, I'm waiting for Jennifer as we speak.


She's getting her picture taken."


She says, "Yeah they want me over there too. To take a picture with someone I've never heard of.


The president of something bigger than everything else. Thats why I'm her tonight. Alone."


I see Jennifer. She waves at me.


Her expression says, "Have you lost your mind. She's heavily married. What are you planning on doing with her?"


Then Bey looks at me and says, "Look um I don't mean to interupt.


You and I should meet up again. Sometime. Sometime soon."


I say, "Um okay."


She says, "I'm leaving after tomorrow's nights show. You should come by. I'll leave your name at the door."


I say, "Okay."


She starts laughing and says, "That was easy."


I reply smiling back, "Yes it was."


She waves good bye quietly to me, the room dims as she walks away.


I start looking for you again. Your still not here.


Its a black tie event so your beauty really sticks out and yet I still don't see you.


The room gets brighter now.


"I'm here, I'm here." laughng as she says it.


Jennifer happy to see me even after being gone for all of five whole minutes.


I look at her. I think to myself If I keep her I don't ever need to buy a camera.


I take her hand. 


I say to her, "Your really something you know that.


You tell me your not coming and then you arrive around the same time as I do.


That can't just be a coincedence Jennifer."


She just looks at me.


I spot you in the background smiling while your talking to someone else.


We turn around.


I take Jennifer by the other hand.


We start walking away from the middle.


I say to her, "I mean why not just seduce me at your place? Why wait to find me here first?


Are you checking up on me or Bey? 


She waves and smiles to someone across the room and says, 


"I'm not checking up on anything. I'm not Jay Z. I simply wanted to know where you go when we don't


have plans to see each other that night.


Then she says, "Thats not checking up. Thats not stalking. There's no need to get paranoid about me."


Then she says, "And where do I find you. Where she is of course.


Don't you think that after all this time that I deserve an explanation."


*cough*


Then she said, "I'm not asking for one. I just wanted to see you.


I changed my mind last night after you left.


I think your right. I think we should talk more about Maria.", smiling as she said it.


I look at her. She is wearing Versace tonight. Elegant. Unassuming. Victorious.


I say, "Well I'm relieved that you agree with me because I only came here to have a good time.


Maria just happened to be here. We aren't speaking.


There's nothing to investigate. Nothing to find out.


She's wrapped up in someone else. Someone I've never even heard of.


And the last time I checked I was with someone that looks like you."


She looks at me and says, "Your not here for her?


You didn't come here to see her?


Your not looking for her right now?


We were walking into the middle of the room because you don't want to say hello."


I say, "Yes thats it. I don't want to say hello. Must we go through this again?


I stop her from walking.


I say, "Jennifer, darling, I'm not going anywhere. What more do you need?"


Then she says, "Okay lets go."


I say, "Where, where are we going?"


She recognizes someone high up in the balcony. 


She smiles, waves, throws them a kiss.


Then she says, "To the middle."


I look at her. I can't believe it.


We start walking. She just won't let this go.


It something she just won't drop.


We can do it like we've never done it before.


Scale mountains, part rivers, build it just to break it and rebuild it all over again.


Do it for hours on end, say things to each other that should never be said much less heard.


And yet after all of that. After all that gulit. That romantic suffering. That lonely alone love.


She brings it here. She brings it to you.


I look at her.


She's such a pro at giving them what they want to see.


Showing them again why she is who she is.


All the while showing me her hurt. Her envy. Her jealousy.


Showing me her please take me too.


Showing me her I want to go too.


We continue walking, I see you know.


I say to her, "Jennifer, I'm not your cabana boy. I'm not more towels and water.


Look I put my collar up for you. When Britney left I was destroyed. I had nothing left."


She stops and looks at me.


Then I said it again, "You helped me find what I had lost. You gave me back to me."


She kisses me. Right in the middle of the room.


Infront of everybody.


I try to pull back because I was told its forbidden. Absolutely no kissing.


We have to look like we have no connection to each other at all.


Thats the way the game is played.


She stops kissing me. Looks down at the floor.


Looks up at me.


Then she says, "Sorry um lets go."


I say quietly, "Where do you want to go Jennifer?"


She says fixing her lipstick, "To the middle dummy, to see her."


I can't believe it.


So we start walking again and sure enough there you are. 


Carrying on. Speaking Russian.


Your speaking to a woman. She's close to your age. Pretty.


I don't recognize her. She's not with the tour.


I have no idea who she is.


We stand behind you. You keep talking.


Your engaged in whatever it is that you are talking about.


Jennifer looks at me.


I say to her quietly, "Are you sure?"


And she says to me, "With all my heart. Talk to her now so you can take me home."


I look at her.


What would you do?


I finally cave. I give in. We walk up together.


We stand where you can see us.


Everybody gathers around us.


Scandals and gossip make money.


Pictures even more.


Thats why they come. Thats why they are here.


You don't acknowledge us.


Jennifer looks at me.


I look at her like I don't know.


You keep talking with the pretty woman.


I take Jennifer by the hand and we stand right in front of you.


Our eyes meet. You look directly at us.


You don't say anything.


I look at Jennifer.


She doesn't understand.


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


Maria I want what you want.


I want to go forward with it.


There's nothing for you to think about.


Nothing to worry about. Its done.


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 

spete30141
#157 Posted : Tuesday, June 18, 2013 10:32:11 AM(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member

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Posts: 281

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I was standing somewhere in the rain.


I watch you walk by.


Your umbrella much much bigger than everybody elses.


I catch up to you and say,


"Hey um do you have room for someone else under your umbrella?"


You just look at me. Laugh to your self and keep walking.


I stand there for a minute.


Watch you slowly disappear into the crowd.


But then just then something else happens.


I turn to walk back and you bump into me.


You say, "Oh sorry, sorry.", grabbing my arm as you say it.


Your beautiful eyes and blonde hair filling your big big umbrella.


I say, "Its okay. I'm okay."


Then I say, "Um thats a mighty big umbrella you got there, is there room under there for anyone else?"


You look at me and smile.


Then you say patting me on the shoulder, "I'm glad your okay."


Then you walk past me. The hard rain pelting me in the face as you do it.


I stand there. My hood drenched.


My eyes wet from it all.


I sadly wait there and watch you slowly disappear into the crowd.


Your big umbrella the only thing that I can see that tells me that its you.


I turn around and start walking back again.


The even harder rain starting up again.


My clothes soaked, my wet feet squishing as I walk.


I look and I see your umbrella again.


The one thats bigger than everybody elses.


Your over there now standing at the hot dog stand.


I casually walk up like nothings wrong.


My collar up showing you who I was for awhile.


Who I am not anymore.


Wet from head to toe.


I say, "Hi um so hows it going?"


You look at me.


Your eating a huge immense gigantic hot dog under your big big umbrella.


Then I say, "Yeah so uh I see that your busy and everything, um I can always just come back later."


You stop chewing and say covering your mouth with a napkin,


"Sorry sorry oh so sorry, um yes you should come with me."


Then you say laughing, "Nice weather were having. Do you want some umbrella with your rain?"


I look at you for a minute.


Then I say, "Its really you right?


Your not going to suddenly change your mind.


Your not inviting me just to walk away.


Your not going to leave without saying good bye, right?"


You smile at me and say, "Yes its really me.


There's nothing to be afraid of. I don't bite."


Then you say, "Come with me."


Then you lean in and say it again even slower this time,


"Come-with-me."


 


 


 

spete30141
#158 Posted : Wednesday, June 26, 2013 10:39:52 PM(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member

Groups: BasicUsers
Joined: 2/19/2013(UTC)
Posts: 281

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Hi, I'm in the car making my rounds.


Jennifer just called.


She is having another crisis and she wants me to stop by.


This comes just two days after a good conversation about boundaries and communicating with each other better.


Being honest with me and not pulling me into something else just to find out more about my relationship with you.


When she asked yet again about our relationship this was my response,


"Jennifer Maria and I are just friends. Good good good friends.


You know like on the show that made you famous.


You know the show I didn't watch.


The show that everybody else watched over and over again."


She just looked at me.


I think its under control. I think she believes me.


I think for the most part she is just thinking about the moments that we shared in the dark together.


The moments we shared in the bed that she bought that spoke to her.


Every time I think about it it makes me think about how do we leave when you finally come.


I mean I don't think that we should be together long enough to ever think about being apart.


She says things to me Maria.


Surprising things that you need to hear for yourself.


Sometimes I wonder when she's on top of me showing me everything that she's worked so hard to be,


showing me that she's not just beautiful, but sensual, forgiving and guilty.


That she's really showing me these love struck tortured forbidden stories of love that live in her soul.


Showing me these well thought out, late night emergency phone calls pleading with me to come over.


Only for me to get there and have to listen to her having conversations with others behind closed doors.


Conversations that she wants me to hear. Conversations that unmask her true feelings about us.


Then argue with me about what was said to just to end up making it up to us after they all leave.


These need to see you late night stop buys turn into long long long weekends in bed together.


(paws)


She lets me say your name.


She lets me say it anyway.


She lets me love her like i love you.


Sometimes we watch the rain together.


Plan her day off around it.


Do it just in time.


Do it with you in mind.


I look up at her to see if she knows.


If I need to say it.


If I need to tell her again how beautiful we think she is.


That moment me when she is there.


That moment when Rachel turns into Maria and Maria turns into me.


That moment when we finally find you together.


Always.


 


 

spete30141
#159 Posted : Wednesday, June 26, 2013 10:54:39 PM(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member

Groups: BasicUsers
Joined: 2/19/2013(UTC)
Posts: 281

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Hi. I'm in the middle of yet another busy busy day.


Right now I'm sitting in traffic on I-69.


Um I was thinking about your problem.


You know your exam, the upcoming oral exam that your going to take.


And I was thinking out loud and thought that one thing that we could do is help you study for it.


You know Jennifer and me.


Jennifer said she would be willing to help you.


So I figure why not, two heads are better than one anyway.


I think if we work hard enough we can cram it all in.


No, no absolutely not.


You don't have to thank us.


Just think about it.


Maria, darling, we-are-here-for-you.


We-love-you. Can't you see that?


Look, let me know and I'll tell Jennifer when, where, and what you want to do.


If we work together we can accomplish anything.


Okay hot stuff cars are moving.


I gotta go. i'll speak to you soon.


Buy Sugar buy.


 

spete30141
#160 Posted : Wednesday, June 26, 2013 11:09:10 PM(UTC)
Rank: Advanced Member

Groups: BasicUsers
Joined: 2/19/2013(UTC)
Posts: 281

Was thanked: 1 time(s) in 1 post(s)

Sometimes I think about our first night together.


The moment when we finish and we are just laying next to each other wondering what the other one is thinking.


The moment when we talk about something else instead of what just happened.


The moment that I want to say something, something important but I'm afraid to because of the giant elephant in the bed.


The gigantic elephant that says, 


"Don't say it Dummy. She doesn't feel the same that you do.


She's a pro. A grand slam champion. Married to her job. Married to tennis.


Your not even a wiggle on her serve. Your not even a rain delay."


Then it says, "Can't you see she's vulnerable. Afraid to fail just like the rest of us.


Can't you see that she's just not ready to choose anyone yet?"


So instead you rest your head on my shoulder and ask me about something far far away from commitment.


Something unrelated like growing up in New York or something about my upbringing.


And thats when I look at you and I realize that I have finally met my twin.


The other little green person on this planet.


The other one just like me just waiting for a ride home.


 


 

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