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#121 Posted : Tuesday, May 07, 2013 6:59:45 PM(UTC)
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Hi. Its night time here. 

A very pretty night tonight.

Is not you naked beside me, but the prettiest Jennifer in the world will just have to do instead.

Um she's asleep right now.

No no its not for beauty.

Its for humor. You know its an acting exercise.

Its funny every once in awhile she'll say something in her sleep.

When she does that for fun I answer back.

One time sleeping with her head on me she said, "Maria this way.."

I responded by saying quietly in my best high pitched Maria voice, "Sorry I'm right handed."

Then she smiled.

The next morning we had breakfast and she was writing up her talking points for an important interview she has coming up.

She wanted to say something interesting. You know create a buzz.

She wasn't getting anywhere with what she had.

Her ideas seemed forced.

Nothing sounded natural. Nothing sounded important.

She asked me what I thought.

I said, "Talk about what you said to me in your sleep last night. Talk about Maria."

She looked at me.

Then she said, "What are you talking about?"

I said, "You were talking in your sleep. Talking about Maria."

She didn't say anything. She just sat there looking at her notes.

Then I said, "Isn't it time to get passed this and move on.

You know forget about us for a minute.

Take a look at what's going on inside of you.

I mean when we are together are you seeing me?

Or are you seeing Maria?

I'm not saying this to pin you down or anything.

i'm saying it because she's on your mind and lets just deal with it as a family and not as total strangers.


Jennifer I won't abandon you. You won't lose me like you lost your beloved Norman.

I'd never leave your side unless you told me to.

If its Maria that makes you happy I'll leave. 

If its both of us that make you happy then its both."

She just looked at me for a long time.

She's beautiful when she needs a hug.

So I leaned over and she started hugging me.

Um we hugged for a long long time.

Then she started kissing me.

First on the neck. Then on my face. My forehead.

Then she cupped my face with her hands.

She started looking deeper into my eyes.

Using her hands to brush away anything she thought shouldn't be there.

We adjusted and she ended up straddling me on my lap.

She's still hugging me again. Upset. Letting it all go.

After a few minutes she started to finally calm down.

She goes back to her seat.

I didn't say anything and neither did she.

I think that we both discovered that we were both very much in love with

not only each other but with another person who happens to be the same person.










#122 Posted : Thursday, May 09, 2013 2:30:02 PM(UTC)
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Hi. I'm thinking about you.

And I'm not expecting anything from you.

You don't owe me an apology.

Jennifer tried the other night.

We were walking back from a show.

Its just a few blocks. Good exercise.

It was raining very very hard.

She was in her new black boots and black trench coat collar up pretending to be a Russian spy.

She jokes about speaking fluent KGB.

Um yeah right.

I was in my usual dressy casual attire.


No Maria, no darling I'm not going to hit it long.

I'm not going to double fault on "match" point.

I'm not going to tell you exactly what I'm wearing.

Instead you and I are going to have long long volleys together.

Back and forth back and forth. Up and down.

No rain delays.

No timeouts.

No bad calls.

We get it right.

So anyway um Jennifer and I are holding hands walking in the pouring rain.

At the end of every block I unzip.

You know to protect the new $1500 Italian boots that she just bought for the evening.

She says to me, "You can tell me you know."

I say back, "I can tell you what?"

She says, "That you don't want to be a threesome."

I look at her as we reach the end of another block.

I unzip.

She steps forward.

We cross the street.

I zip up.

Then I say, "Jennifer um lets not talk about this now."

Lets let our gladiator come home. Lets let Maria come home."

Then I say, "Its not up to me and you. Its up to her."

Then she says, "No its up to you.

I didn't see what was happening to me until you brought it up.

I didn't see it with everything thats going on."

Then I say, Its funny I know what you mean.

I was so busy looking at Courteney, dreaming about Courteney.

That I didn't see you or Maria.

When I saw you and Maria I realized just how great you two make me feel.

I felt like I had missed the whole thing.

We reach the end of another block.

I unzip.

She steps forward.

We cross the street.

I zip up.

Then I say, "But this does us no good now. She's probably not available anymore.

Word out of Madrid is that she's seeing some handsome new guy now.

Some native. 

I feel sorry for him. He has no idea what's coming.

How beautifully cruel her beauty is. 

How she boards a plane and doesn't turn around, doesn't come back until next time."

Jennifer doesn't say anything.

I grab her hand. Stop her from walking.

She looks at me sadly with those big beautiful beautiful eyes.

Watching me to see what happens next.

I say, "We can help each other. Maria doesn't need us. She's a pro.

I think she needs more time to figure out what she wants.

Who she wants. 

Um we are both hurting. We don't know who we can to trust.

You and I can stay together, lick away the pain.

Close those wounds caused by things that happened that we had no control over.

Fix what's broken. Learn to trust again."

We start slowly walking again.

She doesn't say anything.

We get to her building.

We go upstairs. Walk in to her place.

I close my umbrella but don't take my coat off.

She looks at me and says "get undressed", as if to say your not seriously thinking about leaving are you?"

So I take my coat off and sit down.

She says quietly drying off, "What's wrong?"

(long paws)

I break down and tell her my surprise.

I'm frustrated because there is just no getting anything past her.

I cave and tell her about the surprise that I hid in her apartment.

That I planted HOT, WARM, and COLD post-its all over her bedroom.

You know to help her find it.

I also told her that I didn't want to be here for the hunt.

That I didn't want to see her reaction.

I wanted to her to know that your decision had absolutely no bearing on what happens between me and her.

I wanted her to know that there was nothing to think about.

She just looked at me.

Then she said excitedly, "So so can I look for it!"

And thats when I said, "Can I leave first?"










#123 Posted : Friday, May 10, 2013 2:26:22 AM(UTC)
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Hi. I'm watching the "Wedding Planner" featuring Jennifer Lopez.

Um look don't invite me to your wedding.

I don't want to see you with someone else because I don't want to have to fake

being happy about your happiness being with someone else.

I have enough heartbreak in my life as is.

Enough girl ghosts residing in my apartment.

I have had enough "lets just be friends" hot girl-friends.

You would think I would feel lucky.

Lucky to have spent the time.

Lucky that I got to know them.

But no um its not what I want.

You know I used to have this dream where she would be at the top of the stairs in her gown.

And she would walk down just to be with me.

She would come to me.

Anyway its a stupid dream.

They don't have a bouquet for men to catch.

Men just stand there.

Give her away to each other just to keep a closer eye on her.

I don't know.

One day i'll get the one that I want.

And I won't care if its the right thing to do or not.

I'll throw caution to the wind and just do it.

She'll be in love with me and I'll be in love with her, no matter what.

Yeah um real love.

Jennifer says you have to embrace the urge to merge. 

You know become each other. Twins.

She says you have to leave it all behind you.

Cleanse your soul. Walk away.

I met one that I liked a long time ago and I've been running away from her ever since.

I'm thinking about you. We both are.

Its raining here again. Hard.




#124 Posted : Saturday, May 11, 2013 3:44:24 PM(UTC)
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Hi. I'm back from hanging with my friend global music entertainment superstar Jennifer Lopez.

We were there together in her own backyard.

Her old stomping grounds growing up.

Its funny you walk down her street with her and it rains really really hard.

Catcalls. High praise. Marriage proposals. Even debts, "Where's my five dollars, JLo?"

You also hear everybody say "Ha-lo" everywhere you go.

I heard it so many times by so many people that I finally had to ask her,

"Jennifer is it strange to hear people shout "halo" at you all the time?

Do you ever think about Beyonce when you hear them calling you that over and over again?

I know you two are friends, do you guys keep in touch?"

She answers back sharply, "I know about you Maria and Jennifer."

Then she says, "How do you do that, how do you Cher?"

I say, "Listen whatever Britney told you is untrue. We don't Cher."

She looks me up and down to see if I'm telling her the truth or not.

Then she responds to someone on a rooftop shouting at her in Spanish.

She smiles and waves. Flexes them a pose as if to say proudly,

"I am single mother of two, hear me roar."

Yeah she owns the place.

Then she says to me, "Yeah I thought about it.

But I could never get the other two people in the threesome to get along.

They would just end up fighting over me.

How did you do it? How did you get both to love you and love each other?"

I say, "Well I originally got the idea from Britney.

She told me about her experience and it sounded good.

She was able to make it work.

And thats when I approached my significant other and the rest is history.

So far so good but we are not officially a "three" yet.

We are still working out the kinks in the kinky so to speak.

We, such as yourself, also lead busy busy lives so we haven't had too many chances to three.

In fact we haven't "threed" yet.

All we have to show for it so far is the idea to do it and the enormous bed that Jennifer bought.

She told me the bed spoke to her and thats when I knew we had to reconnect with Maria."

We get to the end of the block I don't have to unzip because its not raining that kind of rain. I think.

She says, "Is this what happened between you and Britney, why you guys broke up?"

I say, "No um no, what happened between Britney and me had nothing to do with her "threes".

We met as ones and we turned into a two for awhile. We were never got the chance to be a three.

We spent some nice evenings together out at her other house.

She was told something that wasn't true and instead of asking me about it

she accused me of what she heard that wasn't true.

She said I was with another woman right after being with her and that wasn't true."

Jennifer yells, smiles for a photo, waves across the street.

"Her people" as she puts it, applauding, waving their homemade signs as if a parade was walking by.

She is such a super hero in these parts. Larger than life. So many look up to her here.

And through it all she handles it with grace, dignity, and integrity.

You can see that she truly enjoys the connection that she has with her fans

and she milks it for everything its worth.

She's truly having a love affair with "her people".

We talk some more but she was there to spend time with her folks.

We just happened to bump into each other again running from what we have to run away from all the time.

I can't tell if she likes being caught or what because she drives a Maserati.

This car has wings.

As if her beauty wasn't enough of a fantasy to begin with then she hits you with this big star super car.

I mean how do you hide from anyone that way?

I never get the diva that everybody says that she is and thats why when we hang out its always classy.









#125 Posted : Saturday, May 11, 2013 7:42:37 PM(UTC)
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We parked and she just wouldn't stop.

She's that way, she really is.

She's a good good friend.


You want to know what I like about you the most Maria?

I like the fact that when your sweating you can see your mustache.

Also I was thinking if the three of us can pull this off and actually do it.

Lets call someone in the heat of the battle, you know right in the middle of all the action.

I was thinking about possible candidates, you know a fourth, a fourth to call.

This is who I came up with.

Megan Fox. 

What? She wouldn't want to hear the play-by-play?!?

Are you kidding Maria, she's got peek-a-boo written all over her.

Girl can't get enough.

I smelled her brain just the other day. Best scent ever.

You two would be busy um so I'd have to be the one to call her.

I like Megan. She's real.

The world needs to see her in not just more movies but more good movies.

Or how about Tiger Woods.

He's major. A player. Writes it all down before he recites it.

He saves me the trip. If I tell him I'm telling everybody.

Donald Trump.

It goes without saying really. He's a legend. Humps with the best of 'em.

And to think I thought Rafa was the bad ass!

Anyway you've got a big day coming up so I won't keep you.

You are loved Maria. You are loved.

Happy Mother's Day.


#126 Posted : Sunday, May 12, 2013 5:28:25 PM(UTC)
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Sorry its taken me so long to get back to you, bro.

Things have been hectic around here.

And the weather has been awful rain, rain, and more rain.

Its so bad I had to buy a new umbrella.

JLo told me to say hi.

Good news.

I got Blair.

Blair is coming. Yeah I know the other Dark Knight.

Okay look I gotta go, it being Mother's Day and all.

Our girl has yet another big championship match coming up.

Keep your Hammer crossed for her.

Hopefully she still has something left in the tank for Madrid

after playing California, Indian Wells, and then Germany.

She's superwoman so I'm hoping for the best.

Oh yeah I got your messages um I can't go there.

Bey won't let me go there so keep checking for more "updates" here.

Oh yeah one more thing, should I invite Channing?

Let me know what you think.

And I know about Liam and that he's just too busy. its cool.

He doesn't want to come and its okay. No problem.

I'll let them ALL know that he's NOT coming.

Its too bad because we could use him.

We will be outnumbered and he would be a welcome addition to my team.

Make no mistake. As soon as we can we will.

I'll keep you posted. Keep practicing.

Keep living anyway you can Thor.




#127 Posted : Friday, May 17, 2013 10:25:28 AM(UTC)
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Hi. Its pouring here.

Once again I've got hunting parties just two clicks away from this location.

Its been going on for a long long time now. Years.

They keep changing their minds.

Making it up as they go along.

Finding any truth they can find in any of their lies.

I put the scarecrow out as to warn everybody to stay far far away.

I'm just hoping they all get the signal.

Sometimes I wonder if I should stop running.

Find out what it is that they want from me.

Make contact with one of their people and find out what's really going on.

Let them lie to me to find out the truth.

Its times like these when I usually seek out somebody for advice.

Somebody not directly involved.

Not this time. No its up to us. You and me.

You know what it is. Its the running Maria.

The constant looking in my rear view mirror.

The people looking into my garbage searching for God knows what.

I'm not sure what they want but whatever it is they want it very very badly.

They are relentless in their pursuit of me. 

I take precautions.

Leave the lights on.

Don't take the same roads home.

Set traps to everything not nailed down.

Watch silent television.

Mute the voices. Wear headphones.

Its funny I thought after I got out of the ICU that I was free and clear.

That I had survived yet another attack.

That they would just go away.

They haven't.

Their still hunting me down.

Following me.

Wearing me down.

As soon as I find out what these people want from me I'll let you know Maria.

Well their back again so I gotta run...





#128 Posted : Friday, May 17, 2013 10:54:11 AM(UTC)
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Hi. Listening to Nelly Furtado, "Say it Right".

I keep falling in love with you over and over again.

Your so beautiful its crazy.

You bring me to my knees.

Ruin me for the rest. 

Make me run. Run away from you.

Your everywhere I turn even when your not there.

Too bad I can't have you.

He told me I can't.


Um I have something I have to tell you.

Bey called um she's pregnant.

Good question.

When we were together last time she wasn't on her tour yet.

It was at night, the usual circumstances.

She stopped by with out calling.

Hungry and in a hurry.

We turned off all the lights.

We were listening to Joe, "All the things your man won't do"

We started wrestling.

I let her dominate me.

One thing led to another and the usual things happened.

While she was on top she told me she wanted to add another addition to her family.

I said struggling to break free, "Good idea."

We finished wrestling.

She won, I didn't.

I walked her to her car, we said good bye and she left.

Now she calls me and says that she's not sure that its his.

That it might be mine.

I almost lost it.

I didn't get upset.

I wasn't a dick about it.

But I have to admit it startled me.

Then I said, "So do you want to have it?"

And she said. "No matter what."

I sat down.

Poured my self a tall tall glass of Evian water.

A thousand things running through my mind at once.

Then I said, "I thought we discussed that I wasn't going to be a donor.

That we were going to play it "safe".

Then she said, "I was. We were. I don't know what happened."

Then I said, "Did you tell Kelly? Does she know that it might not be his?

That it could be mine?"

She said, "I didn't tell anyone. I wanted to be sure first.

I wanted you to be the first to know."

Then I said, "If its mine I'm dead man. He will have me killed."

I take a bottle of Smart Water out of the fridge.

Then she says, "Its not your fault. I came here. You didn't.

You gave me a place to hide from his people.

They follow me all over town.

I needed an exit and you gave me one."

Then she said, "I'll talk to him.

If I have to I'll send you away somewhere far away, somewhere where he can't find you."

Then I said, "If its mine Bey I'm dead."






#129 Posted : Friday, May 17, 2013 11:26:44 AM(UTC)
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Hi. Another dream.

We just finished.

You gave it all to me this time.

Every grand slam you ever won in one afternoon.

Your hungry so we get dressed and head out to an Italian restaurant you want to try.

We get an outdoor table near the sidewalk and you wearing the dress.

You know the one that I can hide under just in case.

We talk. We laugh. You smile.

You finish your meatballs.

We look at each other.

You say to me, "Not here"

I look at you again.

You say to me, "No"

I drop my napkin and get under the table.

You say, "We can't do this now. I have a match coming up. Not here."

I get under the dress.

You get quiet. You give in.

Pull the table cloth closer to you.

I can hear the busy street bustling around the table.

No one is stopping. No one can see me.

We are finally alone in public.

Then I hear you say, "He will be back. Yes he is isn't he." Smiling as you say it.

Then you say, "He went back to the hotel. He forgot something."

Then I hear the waiter say, "May I take your plate?"

You say, "Yes thank you."

I peek out.

You look down at me.

Waving at me with your eyes.

You know that I'm hungry.

That I don't want food.

You spread your legs more.

Get more comfortable. Sign an autograph.

I start touching your legs.

Kissing your thighs. I peek out.

You look down at me again.

You give someone their pen back.

You start talking to me.

I can't make it out. I don't understand.

So I go back. I keep kissing your thighs.

You pull the table cloth even closer to you.

Order another a water.

I find what I'm looking for.

What I covet.

What you want me to find.

I try to pull them down.

Suddenly you grab my hands.

Put your hand firmly on my head.

Your talking to someone.

Its your crew. Your trainers.

They are laughing. Asking about me.

I wait there under your dress, under the table, as you attempt to win the Oscar for best supporting actress.

Its dangerous Maria. Its naughty.

Its you.




#130 Posted : Friday, May 17, 2013 11:58:43 AM(UTC)
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Hi. Dream two.

Your getting ready to leave.

Its a long flight.

Its our last night together.

The hotel room has a great view.

You can see the city bustling down below.

Your deep in thought getting ready while I check my email.

You say to me, "Give me the thing for her. I'll make sure she gets it."

I get up and go to the walk-in closet.

I look around. Its not there.

I say, "I don't see it here. Are you sure its here?"

You walk into the closet.

The door closes behind you.

You open a box.

Then a travel bag.

Then I remember.

"I know where it is" as if to say Eureka. 

"Its near the window under the head board." I say.

You look at me.

You say, "We can't have something like that out, what if somebody sees it?"

I say, "Your right, your right. I have to be more careful."

You start putting the boxes back.

I try the door.

It doesn't move.

I say to you, "Um is there a trick to open the door, it doesn't open."

You look at me as you close the travel bag.

You try the door.

Your mouth opens wide.

You kick the door.

I start pushing on the door.

We look at the door and then at each other.

We are locked in.

You look at me again.

I say, "Don't look at me, you let the door close behind you."

Then I say, "We don't have locks on our closets in the states."

Then you say, "I wouldn't be in the closet to begin with if you had remembered where you put it!

Now what are we supposed to do?"

We stand there for a minute listening to the television from the closet.

Its something about you.

Your new Samsung phone ringing in the background over and over again.

You look down at the carpet.

You look at me.

You grab my hand.

We sit.

I say to you quietly, "Um I thought we needed to spend more quality time together

but this isn't what i had in mind."

You say calmly, "They will keep calling and eventually they will all come looking."

Then I say, "So what happens now?"

You just look at me.




#131 Posted : Friday, May 17, 2013 12:23:21 PM(UTC)
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Hi. I have something to say..

Its important. Get off the phone. Sit down.

Do me a favor lets just keep this between us, okay?

Um I had dinner with an old friend.

A very powerful rich rich rich old friend.

We made a Bette.

Its about a woman. Another woman.

If I can take her to bed or not.

I thought about it for just a moment.

And then I said, "I need to ask permission first."

He said, "You need permission? Since when?", laughing as he said it.

I said, "Since I found what I've been looking for.", smiling as I said it.

Then he said, "Hmm.. well, this sounds serious."

Then he said, "Double or nothing."

I thought about it.

And then I said firmly, "Uncle..um I need to get permission."


We agreed that I would get back to him.

Um its pretty straightforward. A gentleman's Bette.

I take her to bed and I win the Bette.

I guess you could say I win twice.

But if I accept, and I lose, and I don't take her to bed.

I lose something very very important to me.

Something I can't replace.

Something I can never see or talk to ever again.


So I'm asking you. Right now.

I'm asking you for permission.

But please please don't answer me right away.

Think about it.

Think about me.

Think about what we've shared.

This isn't something that I want to do.

This isn't something I choose to do.

This is just how some men have to prove themselves to other men.

Prove themselves to men that don't take no for an answer.

You should know that I am not entirely convinced that I can pull this off.

She's a celebrity. Famous. Way way out of my league.

She will have to have pity on me for me to have a chance at getting her into bed.

Okay so, that's it. 

Thats what's on the table.

Um I'll check around.

Wait for your answer.

Wait for you to tell me what I should do..





#132 Posted : Saturday, May 18, 2013 1:18:25 PM(UTC)
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Hi. Every night. Non stop. Until we all get there.

Um I hope your feeling better.

My disbelief, my silence says it all.

I'm watching "Dangerous Liaisons".

Yet another great Ziyi Zhang movie classic. (Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon)

No its not for you.

Not something you should see.

And no it has nothing to do with the fact that English is a second language that you still need to learn.

No its just too much of a commitment, much too romantic for you to understand

so I won't bother you with the details.

I will say that one of the characters reminds me of you.

I wonder if you could tell me which one.

Um it must get terribly lonely on the tour.

And no I'm not talking about friends, shopping, or um training.

No I'm talking about the good GOOD stuff, smiling as I say it.


I think about you from time to time.

About you on your... jet.

What it must be like to leave something in your wake just to have to pick it back up again at the next stop.

Meet God knows who for God knows what.

Making it all up so that you can keep flying.

That you never ever land.

I'm not going to ask if your in "The Club" or not because I don't want to know.

I won't ask if turbulence makes it better because that would be crossing into your very very private jet life.

But sometimes I wonder if you have, and if you do, and for how long, and if you still do now?

I mean is there a sofa bed?  A good side?  

Does the chair tilt all the way back?

Do you have help? Do you need help? 

Is there that special must have on the jet that makes the risk worthwhile?

It can't just be take off, play, and land.

Thats just not enough of a challenge for you.

There's got to be something else.

There's something very VERY Maria going on up there.

We miss you.









#133 Posted : Sunday, May 19, 2013 10:30:01 AM(UTC)
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Hi. Its raining here.

Big fat drops.

Its raining here so hard its raining sideways.

If you were here I'd wipe it off your brow.

Protect you from the pouring rain.

I used to think that rain meant that God was upset.

Crying over what we had done.

That we lost our way and he made it rain to help us grow.

To help us clean up our mess.

Well I'm not that special.

Not that unique.

Not that dirty.

To me rain is just rain and your just too beautiful to get wet.

Sometimes I think the rain drops are just tears.

Tears that tell us God cries too.

She told me that once a long long time ago.

It was when I lost something that I loved.

When they walk out and they don't say good bye.

And your left with just their memory. Their eyes. Their beauty.

And thats when you discover that your empty, that there's nothing left.

Nothing but rain.

Maybe one night I'll be standing on the corner waiting for you in the rain.

You'll be in your Nike HEAD gear, all zipped up.

You'll get out and spot my umbrella.

Wave and come running.

You won't say anything, you'll just look at me.

The tears in your hair. The rain in your eyes.

We'll just stand there and hold hands.

Stand there and watch God cry.

Stand there and watch God cry together. 


#134 Posted : Sunday, May 19, 2013 1:08:41 PM(UTC)
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Hi. Um yeah Jennifer found out about the Bette.

She said, "Did you really think that I wouldn't find out about the Bette?"

I said, "No, no, I was going to tell you about the Bette."

Then she said, "Why did you tell Maria about the Bette?"

I said, "Because I didn't think that it mattered.

Maria is thousands of miles away and has no bearing on what happens here.

So what difference does it make if she knows about the Bette or not."

Then she said, "This need-to-know policy girlfriend thing needs to stop.

I'm not going to put up with this. Don't you know who I am?

Waiting to here back from you to hear back from her has to stop."

Then I said, "Okay, it stops right now.

My gift says it all about just how important you are to me."

She just looked at me.

Then I said, "Whatever you want to do.

If you don't want me to talk to Maria I'll never talk to her ever again."

Then she got excited, "I didn't say don't talk to her ever again, I didn't say don't talk to her!

Your mixing my words up! 

I said I don't want to have to wait to hear back from you until you've spoken to her first."

Then I said, "Wait a second. You think your the Bette?"

Then I said, "That your the famous celebrity. 

The one that has to have pity on me. The one that i have to take to bed."

Then I said, "Um who told you that? What gave you that idea?"

She just looked at me.

#135 Posted : Sunday, May 19, 2013 2:08:57 PM(UTC)
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Hi. While you've been out gladiating I've been getting my students to interact more with each other.

Jennifer gave me the idea to start having more group sessions.

She said the more the merrier and it does make sense for me to try it and see what happens.

One of the more interesting types of therapy that I want to get them more involved with is

my therapy wrestling package.

So I Invited two of my students over for my first ever group class.

A girl we'll call Michelle and her room mate Iris.

The whole idea behind this type of therapy um the wrestling, is to heal.

To cleanse the body of all unwanted emotions.

Its not just about the physical aspects, the wrestling, no no its about having open discussions.

Airing out the wrongs to make everything right between two or more people.

In this case its Michelle and Iris.

They both lead busy busy lives. Argue all the time.

Go days without speaking to each other.

The same kind of stuff Jennifer and I were going through.

And then stopped going through them because of the um wrestling.

So I decided why not try it on these two.

And while they wrestle I can monitor the situation.

Ask them questions. Get them to acknowledge some truths about themselves.

Get faster answers to the questions that need to be answered right away.

I found that while I was wrestling with Jennifer that the answers we were looking for would come quickly.

She would say the things she didn't want to say to me.

So not only did it work as great therapy but it also helped her with her various acting roles.

She was able to see herself from outside of herself.

See what she was doing wrong.

So anyway um back to Michelle and Iris.

I started them off the same way I started me and Jennifer off.

I told them that while they wrestle that Michelle would tell Iris what was bothering her.

And that Iris couldn't say anything back. All Iris could do was listen and wrestle.

After ten minutes of Michelle voicing whatever was on her mind, we switched.

It then became Iris's turn to voice what was bothering her and all Michelle could do about it was listen and wrestle.

It opened up all kinds of dialogue.

Both women were speaking freely at the end while trying to pin each other.

They were amazed that this actually worked and how easy it was for them to finally say what was on their minds.

Um Jennifer said the same thing that our sessions helped her release all kinds of tension.

We don't practice this type of therapy anymore though.

We grew way too close. It stopped being therapy. 

It became way too personal between us.

We would start you know wrestling and she would gradually eventually go where she has to go.

Which in her case is my relationship with you.

Thats when I had to tell her we can't because I wasn't willing to wrestle her and talk about you.

I thought that it was unprofessional. I wanted to help her and that meant keeping the wrestling

on some sort of a professional level.

From what I can tell I'm the only one that practices this kind of therapy.

So I couldn't send her to someone else.

We decided to go back to the more traditional methods and she's made great great strides that way.

She's gotten a lot better at controlling her emotions, especially in public.

She's really become an excellent excellent student.

She's been using what I taught her. Challenging herself mentally.

Using the weapons that I gave her to fight her inner anger.

She's so confident now that she even wants to show off some of the discipline that she's mastered

at the party that she wants to throw here.

You know the party that I'm the only guy invited to.

I was all for it. I told her great yet another reason for me to be there.

And that maybe if I'm lucky I could find another couple of students.

Yeah I think in time Jennifer will be able to conquer all those things that bother her

and put them all behind her.

The wrestling was extremely effective until she started to make it too personal 

and started asking me about you.

Its funny we would start with listing all of the "off limit" subjects first.

And your name was at the top of both of our lists.

I would say jokingly, "No Maria stuff, right?"

And she would just smile and agree with me.

Then we would start and in the heat of the battle

she would gradually, eventually, saying something like, 

"You mean as long as Maria says its okay, right!"

Her emotions getting the best of her as she said it.

And thats when we would have to stop.

Get water, towel off, and agree once again to not discuss anything with the name Maria on it.

This exercise, this therapy Maria, is all about control.

Keeping a cool head despite any obstacle that you may have right in front of you.

And when the discussion would turn to anything about you Jennifer would simply lose control...






#136 Posted : Monday, May 20, 2013 5:26:29 PM(UTC)
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Hi. I can't believe you are this way.

Undaunted, unassuming, relentless in your pursuit for love.

Your so passionate about so many things Maria.

How in the world do you get it all in in one day?

I was thinking about you while I was in the pastry shop today.

I was waiting in line looking at all the delicious looking doughnuts, pies, jellies, and jams.

I remember your fondness for big long chocolate covered eclairs.

Hey, do you remember the time when you came over and we were hiding in the dark from them?

You were lighting candles all over the room wearing just my dress shirt.

We were listening to Bob Marley um the "Jamming" song and you were still hungry.

And I said, "Do you want to get something to eat, do you want to go Gray's Papaya?"

And you said, "What's Gray Papaya?"

Do you remember that night?

The night we snuck out and drove to Gray's?

And being an athlete and all I bought you FOUR of the jumbo ones and you ate all FOUR in like a minute.

Do you remember that night?

Do you remember what happened next?

Do you remember who we bumped into?

I was just wondering with everything that happened that night.

With everything that you told me.

If you were serious. 

If you really wanted to do what you said.

Leave it all before you and arrive with everything left behind.

Do you remember what happened in the car?

Your first time ever driving stick by yourself.

Me telling you not to ride the clutch.

Telling you to ease it out slowly.

Parking by the lake so I could watch a star watch the stars.

Do you remember that?

I know its just another moment for you.

Just another boy from another place.

Just being in another place far far away from home.

Well, I remember you well.

The rain. You screaming to put the roof back on.

Me driving us home in the heavy downpour.

Getting to the front door sopping wet and you saying,

"I don't want drive in this um can I stay the night?"



#137 Posted : Wednesday, May 22, 2013 1:50:07 PM(UTC)
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Hi. I had a nice chat with Jennifer.

We decided to role play the brunch and pretend that we don't know each other.

It was a good idea. It went well.

We talked about you a lot.

More than I was comfortable with but I think I learned something about myself 

talking to her about you.

Something I won't discuss here and something I would never ever tell either one of you.

We acted as if we weren't that close.

So we chose a different way of talking about everything.

She said a lot of things.

The subject of you came up quickly.

Eventually every conversation that we have ends with you.

We could chat about an article in the New York Times about stem cell research.

And eventually she'll say something like, "So what do you think Maria would think?"

And I just say that you are on board with it all no matter what it is.

I told her that I told you about the bed that spoke to her

and that you thought buying the enormous bed was a good idea 

and that we should skip dinner and just get to the other part of the menu.

I told her you were excited and wanted to come.

That If you had known you would have contributed something to the cost of the massive bed.

She seemed pleased, she gets even more pretty when I mention anything that has to do 

with you discussing anything to do with her.

I think you two are going to end up being great great friends.

I feel lucky just to witness it all.

Um during the extremely polite brunch she expressed a desire to help me with an idea

that I have to have a celebrity bike tour to raise money to fight breast cancer.

We would start out in Great Neck Long Island and ride to Montauk which is the end of Long island.

We would recruit some of our friends to help us raise money and awareness.

Making stops along the way to sign autographs and get people to donate to our cause.

She was interested and enthusiastic about the idea.

She agreed to help. Um she's on board.

Then the discussion went back to you of course.

She said, "Paris is so beautiful this time of year isn't it?"

And I said, "Yes and its getting even prettier as we speak."

She kind of nodded. Checking me.

Then I said, "Yeah but why go all the way there when you can have beautiful right here."

She smiled.

Then we started talking about you again.

We started talking tennis.

I told her I found a "Hammer" racquet that I liked a lot.

But I wanted to research the project further.

She reminded me again that she played a lot in college and that she has been chomping

at the bit to hit the courts again.

Then she issued me a challenge. A match.

Me versus her.

So I said knowing who she is, "What are we playing for?"

Then she said, "What do you want to play for?"

Then I said, "I asked you first."

Then she said, "Oh come on, don't be such a baby!

What do you want to play for?"

Then I said, "Jennifer maybe we shouldn't play.

I'm not going to play you for Courteney or Maria."

Then she said, "I didn't say anything about playing for anybody.

Lets just keep this between us. Lets you and me play for something."

Its moments like this that I wonder what's up her sleeve.

What's really going on. Why are we here?

Then I say, "Um lets just think about having fun. Lets not put anything or anybody on the table."

Then I said, "I'm rusty. I haven't played in awhile. I was just hoping to hit a ball around a little bit."

Then she said, "You mean hit a ball with Maria, right? Hit a ball with Maria."

Then I said, "Yeah um eventually when I thought I was ready, when I thought I was okay to hit it back in the court.

But actually I thought you and I were a better match just because neither one of us has played in awhile.

So why don't we just enjoy this activity."

She just looked at me. Sipped her tea. Nodded.

Agreed with what she was hearing um what I had to say.

Then she leaned in and said under her breath as if I had no choice in the matter,

"I want to play for something. If I win your mine. You answer any question I ask you.

I get whatever I want, whenever I want it. If you win, its whatever you want however you want it, deal?"

I looked at her to check if she was being serious.

She was quite serious.

Then I said, "Okay but what about Maria? What's her stake in all of this?

I mean she gets a free pass because she's a pro?

I figure since you won"t let this go why not include her in whatever this is."

She looked at me. Her eyes fixed on me.

Thats when I said, "Its okay. There's no need to get upset. We are just talking."

She didn't say anything for several minutes.

I finished eating.

Then she said, "Wait let me understand this one more time.

Why does Maria have to be in this again? You can't handle me yourself?

Then I cut her off and said, "Your right I can't. Not by myself."

So with that being said what is Maria's part in all of this?

Is she a prize? Is she the real reason why we are playing to begin with?

Is it she and not me that your interested in?"

Then she got angry and said under her breath,

"I've been waiting here for you to stop this business with her.

Your trying to get back at me for something you know that I have to do.

I'm not here now for Maria.

You brought her in without discussing it with me first."

Then I said, "Jennifer, I didn't bring her into anything.

And to clear things up for me, bring her into exactly what?

Are we a couple? 

It doesn't feel like it to me.

You have a lot going on right now.

You see me in the dark.

Were vampires.

When does this end?

When is it all going to come out in the open?

As I said before I don't want to drown in your life.

And you said you understood.

Look. Maria is a friend.

A good, hot, tennis, friend.

Nothing more.

I just get the feeling that there's more to what your saying because every conversation 

we have eventually gets to the subject of my relationship with Maria.

Jennifer. There is no relationship. Your seeing things that aren't there.

Then I said, "You know what, you know what, lets not play.

I don't want to play anymore. You win."

Then she got excited talking loudly as the crowded room got very very quiet,

"You can not not play! You can not not play!

Were playing! Your going to play and your going to enjoy it!

I don't care! 

Have what you want with her! Go play! Go win a Porsche for all I care!

I can't believe we can't play without it turning into God knows what!

I can't believe I put up with this from you!

Then she started pointing her finger at me,

"Your just scared! Scared to lose to a woman!

I can't believe what I put up with with you!"


Yeah. She went on for awhile. She had an episode.

So we had to leave. I paid the check and we left through the kitchen.

She was still ranting and raving on the way out.

We got outside. She told everybody within the sound of her screaming voice that she didn't need any help.

Eventually I got her to calm down, to relax and to breathe.

I apologized for anything that I may of said that upset her.

She took my hand and we walked and talked for awhile.

We decided that we should play but not for you or Courteney.

We decided to keep both of you out of it and play for the original wager,

which was the yours or mine anything you want idea.

The whole not wanting to lose to a woman is ridiculous.

I've been losing to women ever since I can remember.

Just ask Alexandra.

If I'm going to lose to anyone like Jennifer then I've already won the match before it starts...















#138 Posted : Friday, May 24, 2013 12:30:19 PM(UTC)
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Hi. Your busy getting ready so i'll be quick.

Have fun. Give them what they want to see. You.

I'm going to disappear for awhile.

Dumb question.

If my word is  Jennifer.

What is your word?

Its not tennis. That would be way too easy.

Is it reign?

OMG! Look at the time I gotta go. Bye.

#139 Posted : Friday, May 24, 2013 1:56:37 PM(UTC)
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Hi. I'm sleeping.

Its quiet here in my dream.

Its raining tulips.

Your laying next to me.

We're holding hands.

Listening to the flowers grow.

Listening to what reminds us that we don't need anything at all.

I ask you if its okay if we just talk.

And you say, "Okay why not."

Then you kiss me.

You pull the blanket over us and jump on top of me.

We start wrestling.

I find your spot.

Your secret place.

I find Yuryevna.

Jennifer runs towards us, she's in love.

But its much two late.

They've got us and we can't break free.

Your so beautiful when your distracted.

Engaged in whatever it is that your doing.

Focused on the task at hand.

Its like the time that you came with me to my park in the middle of the night.

You said, "We need a key?"

I said, "The gate won't open without a key."

I showed them to you.

You lay down in the bed of flowers.

The tulips all around you.

Tulips that you fall madly in love with.

Tulips that felt the same way about you.

You enjoy them. Let them surround you.

You dance with them. Grow with them.

I watch you.

Listen to your beauty.

Hear every blemish.

Then as if we didn't know them at all, we hear the familiar coming.

What do we do?

Where do we run?

You decide that we should climb up The Great Tree.

Hide and hope that they just go away.

We climb up and rest.

The leaves hiding us from the sky and the darkness hiding us from the ground.

You whisper to me,

"Your tulips are so beautiful. I want to see more of them."

I reply, "The tulips told me that they want to see more of you two."

Then I say, "They asked me what took me so long for me to bring you here?

I told them that they kept us apart. That my second rich uncle kept you away.

Then you say confidently, "That won't happen again. They won't find us. I promise.

We can be together. You, me, and the beautiful beautiful tulips."

Then I say with regret, "No, no my Love. Not me, my rich uncle says I can not leave.

I watch over not just the tulips, but the roses, the carnations, and all of the other beauties that help us grow.

I can not leave. They need me. 

I am their caretaker.

Its not for not wanting. I want you. 

And that will never ever change.

You look at me, the dream within my dream.

Then I say quietly, "The tulips need to be watered, Beloved.

They need to be wet and I bring the rain.

You start fading away now.

Disappearing before my very eyes.

Then I say, "And while you are gone, gone to whatever it is they want you to be,

gone to let everyone else everywhere see what they want to see,

gone from this place in my heart.

I go forward. Back to what it was before.

I don't need any water Maria.

Instead of the rain my Beloved, I water them with my tears. 








#140 Posted : Saturday, May 25, 2013 2:26:24 PM(UTC)
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Hi. Jennifer isn't Greek anymore.

No not Russian. No now she's polish.

Yeah thats one lucky pole that won.

And nice tummy too, LOL.

Did you see it?

There is so much to see with her that her body takes a back seat.

After the eyes, the hair, the dimples, and the killer legs the rest of it doesn't matter.

This woman saved it all for a pouring rainy rainy day.

And its pouring here right now.

So anyway its late.

I'm hungry. Starving.

You wanna get a late late bite?

You can eat and then if the coast is clear I can eat two.

Didn't Jennifer tell you about me?

About Mr. New York becoming "Mr. Joystick"?

Well its all under the table Maria.

Its all under the table.

Especially if she's wearing the right dress.

I can't love you you know.

But if HE would let me, it would be with everything that I have left.

You took it all away and now I have no idea who I am.

I can't find anything that was me from before.

Jennifer says she recognizes me. Sees me anyway.

She is the only thing that helps me remember who I am.

And why you are loved.

With all of that said go out and get a win.

We want to see more smiles, more mustache, and much more armpit.

Always Beloved. Always.

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