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Tennis Jokes
KarmaKrooK
#1 Posted : Wednesday, April 17, 2013 7:28:41 PM(UTC)
KarmaKrooK

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What is a tennis player's favorite musical instrument in a rock band? The Base

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Dartagnan on 6/15/2013(UTC)
KarmaKrooK
#2 Posted : Wednesday, April 17, 2013 7:29:46 PM(UTC)
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Don't insult tennis players especially if they have a nasty backhand. Hate to be on that receiving end.
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Dartagnan on 6/15/2013(UTC)
KarmaKrooK
#3 Posted : Wednesday, April 17, 2013 7:31:48 PM(UTC)
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Why was the tennis player punished by his parents? He made quite a racket.
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Dartagnan on 6/15/2013(UTC)
KarmaKrooK
#4 Posted : Wednesday, April 17, 2013 7:32:42 PM(UTC)
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What do fish and tennis balls have in common? They sometimes get caught in nets.
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Dartagnan on 6/15/2013(UTC)
KarmaKrooK
#5 Posted : Tuesday, April 23, 2013 6:34:27 PM(UTC)
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Friend: Why did you bring a frozen pizza to the (clay) tennis court today?
Me: I figured it's been so hot lately it feels like an oven.
Friend: That still doesn't explain the frozen pizza.
Me: don't you see, were in a outdoor clay oven.
Friend: you're an idiot.
Me: correction, a hungry idiot.
Friend: (slaps forehead with right hand)
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Dartagnan on 6/15/2013(UTC)
KarmaKrooK
#6 Posted : Tuesday, April 23, 2013 6:38:39 PM(UTC)
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What do you say when the umpire is right about a ruling on the court? The Umpire Strikes Back.
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Dartagnan on 6/15/2013(UTC)
KarmaKrooK
#7 Posted : Tuesday, April 23, 2013 6:42:14 PM(UTC)
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What U.S. state do tennis players like to visit? Tennis-see (tennessee)
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Dartagnan on 6/15/2013(UTC)
KarmaKrooK
#8 Posted : Thursday, April 25, 2013 9:44:30 PM(UTC)
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I like my serves like I like my soda, flat. No I do not really like my sodas flat but for the purpose of this joke I do. Soda is bubbly for a reason. It is perfectly alright to like your sodas flat. It is our unalienable right to drink soda as we please so if you drink flat soda continue to do so without regard to this lengthy joke.


 

KarmaKrooK
#9 Posted : Tuesday, April 30, 2013 9:29:07 PM(UTC)
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Where do you go when you get Tennis elbow? A sporting goods store.
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Dartagnan on 6/15/2013(UTC)
KarmaKrooK
#10 Posted : Wednesday, May 01, 2013 3:46:56 PM(UTC)
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How do mixed doubles tennis players like their eggs? Poached.
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Dartagnan on 6/15/2013(UTC)
KarmaKrooK
#11 Posted : Saturday, May 04, 2013 10:08:23 PM(UTC)
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Who make the best tennis players? Waiters because they know how to serve.
appaloosa
#12 Posted : Sunday, May 05, 2013 4:41:30 AM(UTC)
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               Please tell me this gets better !  

KarmaKrooK
#13 Posted : Monday, May 06, 2013 8:09:18 PM(UTC)
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Does the sun rise everyday? Not if you live in Alaska it doesn't. (<-- joke not a response in form of a joke)
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Dartagnan on 6/15/2013(UTC)
KarmaKrooK
#14 Posted : Saturday, May 25, 2013 9:07:41 PM(UTC)
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Where do tennis players go to take care of their traffic tickets? Tennis COURT.
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Dartagnan on 6/15/2013(UTC)
Dartagnan
#15 Posted : Sunday, May 26, 2013 7:35:49 AM(UTC)
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Dartagnan: The power of the face, breasts and backside....


 


Serena Williams, Maria Sharapova, and Petra Kvitova in plane crash (JOKE)



Maria Sharapova, Serena Williams, and Petra Kvitova are flying to Roland Garros 
tournament 2013, when suddenly the Captain of the plane announces "We
have just lost all power to the engines of the plane and are going to make
an emergency crash landing...please assume the brace position immediately!"

Immediately, the three tennis players look at each other and start preparing for the
worst. Maria quickly pulls out some lipstick and make-up and starts to fix
up her face. Bewildered, Serena and Petra ask: "What in the hell are you
doing Maria? We're about to crash!"

Maria responds: "Well know for a fact that the rescue workers will save
the girls who have the best looking faces first. That's why I'm putting on
my make-up."

Immediately Petra rips open her blouse to expose two beautiful
mounds of flesh which inexplicably defies the law of gravity. Totally
confused, Maria and Serena shout: "Petra have you lost your senses???
We're about to die! Why are you baring your breasts for everyone to see?"
Petra responds: "Let's face it...in a plane crash, the rescue workers are
going to save a woman with beautiful breasts before they'd save one with
a pretty face. That's why I'm exposing my tits!"

Not hesitating for a moment, Serena pulls off her skirt and removes
her panties, exposing her backside. Freaking out, Maria and Petra
yell: "Serena, are you crazy??? Why are you exposing your back for everyone
to see?" Calmly, Serena responds: "PLEASE GIRLS! I know for a fact that
the first thing the rescue workers always look for in plane crashes is the
blackside!!


  


 

"I'd love to open a tennis school for children in my hometown of Sochi." said Sharapova Maria.



KarmaKrooK
#17 Posted : Tuesday, May 28, 2013 9:44:53 PM(UTC)
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What do you call it when someone wins a set 6-0 at Roland Garros? Delicious. If you've ever had a French bagel you'd know what I'm talking about.
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Dartagnan on 6/15/2013(UTC)
KarmaKrooK
#18 Posted : Thursday, May 30, 2013 11:17:00 PM(UTC)
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New surface: Mud. Coming to a rainy Roland Garros near you.
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Dartagnan on 6/15/2013(UTC)
KarmaKrooK
#19 Posted : Thursday, May 30, 2013 11:21:00 PM(UTC)
KarmaKrooK

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How many balls do you need to play tennis? Two if you're a man and ________________ if you're a woman.
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Dartagnan on 6/15/2013(UTC)
Dartagnan
#21 Posted : Saturday, June 15, 2013 5:14:14 PM(UTC)
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Dartagnan: Do you know why is Maria a Gladiator ???


 


Maria is a Gladiator because she has to defeat an African Lion: Serena 


 


Hear her Roar !!!


 



"I'd love to open a tennis school for children in my hometown of Sochi." said Sharapova Maria.



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Alireza on 6/16/2013(UTC)
KarmaKrooK
#22 Posted : Tuesday, June 25, 2013 1:00:13 AM(UTC)
KarmaKrooK

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"Why should you never fall in love with a tennis player?
To them, 'Love' means nothing." (unknown author)
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