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#81 Posted : Wednesday, April 10, 2013 11:49:11 AM(UTC)
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Hi. Its not what you think.

I'm here watching "Scream 4" featuring the great great Courteney Cox.

Yeah she's showing me her acting chops.

If it weren't for me being such good good friends with big David Arquette

I would have called her.

And called her. And called her. And called her.

She is one of my all time favorite last dances.

You know who she is write?

She's the one who danced on stage with Bruce Springsteen in the

"Dance in the Dark" video. 


Very very pretty and it hasn't slowed down one bit.

Scary hot.

Yeah so she still looks really really good.

When I asked Jennifer what about Courteney?

Would she be able to help me with my problem?

Jennifer looked at me and said-

"She's not an option. She can't help you.

Don't think about her okay. Don't don't talk about her.

Trust me she's not for you. She's not the won.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry if I sound whatever.

I just don't see you guys being together.

Um.. I'll find you someone.

Someone that can relate to your problem

without all the excess baggage that she carries with her everywhere she goes.

Um wait. Wait! Listen. I say this from a position of strength.

She's my best friend. The other side of you.


You know seeing you two together makes me laugh.

Um your not ready for someone like her.

You couldn't handle it.

She's not the write person for you to do this with.

Yes she's beautiful but she is also so condescending and so destructive at the same time.

The truth lies in all of her lies!

She doesn't want to tell you but she tells you anyway!

She tells you everything just to hide it from you!

She won't tell you she loves you!

I mean if she were in love with you she would tell you, right!"

I just looked at her.



#82 Posted : Wednesday, April 10, 2013 12:39:49 PM(UTC)
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I'm watching "Eat Pray Love" for the second time.

A wonderful wonderful film.

It reminded me of when I went to Haiti.

I remember one day I was at the beach looking out at the water.

And I didn't hear anything. Just the water.

I stood there for several minutes just taking it all in.

Then I looked to my right and realized there was someone standing write beside me.

Thats when I turned around to see a sea of people.


Quietly holding out there hands and looking at me.

Holding their possessions. Their life's work. Everything they had.

I couldn't count how many there were.

I was young, brash, immature, a fool.

I didn't understand what it meant.

So I took it for granted and paid it no mind.

I didn't realize what had happened until I got back to the states.

I didn't appreciate the gesture.

Its amazing how such a large large group of people could come that close to me

and me not know that they were ther.

Their quiet was so quiet it was silently silent.

Anyway this came to me thinking about you.


#83 Posted : Wednesday, April 10, 2013 3:21:04 PM(UTC)
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I was loving you in "Dreamgirls".

You know the movie.

I'll be honest I had no idea who you were.

I heard the music but wasn't able to put the voice to the face.

You would think they would install video radios for cars.

You know so you could see the video as well as hear it.

That would boost sales I bet.

Make it so consumers could buy a copy of your song right there

with their radio account.

You know On-Star but with music, sort of.

Um speaking of On Star Jennifer's been looking mighty fine these days.

If I wasn't spoken for already I'd let her know.

I'd do the same thing that I did with you.

The tried and true look like I'm lost routine, and just have you show me where to go.

You know a friend helping a friend.

Thats what Maria is to me.

We are friends and we HELP each other.

Its not like with Britney when she says I'll be there at five and shows up at seven thirty.

When Maria says six. She means six.

Don't get me wrong I love Britney I just don't love the fact that she masks her approach.

She doesn't say that she's coming so you never know when to expect her.

You of course are the exact opposite.

You tell me when where how and why before I ask what.

Remember all those crazy nights hiding from them.

Sitting in the dark and waiting for them to leave.

Joking around and telling ghost stories.

It was like being with the sister that I always wanted to have.

Someone who excepted me for who I was instead of who they thought I should be.

Um I've had two African American girlfriends.

One worked as an actress in adult films.

The other worked as a phone sex operator.

Its funny because in both cases I had no idea.

This was happening while we were together and I had no idea.

I didn't see it. I didn't know to look.

I remember the phone sex operator would make me go to her apartment

and we would watch prison documentaries while we made love.

I didn't understand the significance of it but I went along with it anyway.

It was a stimulating sensation to say the least.

I had no idea what "tossing your salad" meant.

The shows weren't just about criminals and the crimes they committed 

but also about the culture. The characters. The lingo.

It was interesting to hear the inmates talk about life inside while actually being inside.

The girl I was with was beautiful so it made the whole experience so much more worthwhile.

The other beautiful black girl I dated made her adult film debut while we were dating.

I had no idea she made the film.

So it was quite a surprise to see her engaged with other people doing something like that on video.

Again another girl that didn't work out in the end.

It happens. In fact in even happened to me.

One day my friends invited me to be an extra in a show that someone else was taping.

A documentary of sorts.

I figured finally some exposure heck it might even get me a date with Madonna.

Ever since she did that "Sex" book I was ready, willing, and waiting.

So anyway, we got there and they picked me to be a vital VITAL part of the show.

They picked me out of like a hundred people.

I felt honored because nobody had ever picked me to do anything 

except for when I was picked to do the only solo part for the Easter church service at my elementary school.

So anyway I signed the waiver and agreed to do whatever, not realizing what it was that they wanted me to do.

By the time i found out it was too late to turn back, so like the good good soldier I went along with it.

I remember the stage.

The fake smoke. The hot colored lights.

The place filled with scantily clothed attractive women and hunky shirtless guys.

And there I was right smack dab in the middle of it all.

I was the star. The Matador. The stud.

After the make up girl was done with me the director addressed me in front of everyone.

Then they started moving cameras around. Adjusting lights.

Asking me repeatedly if I needed anything. Was I comfortable? Is this in your way?

I met the producer and she introduced me to some of the suits that were just standing around.

Nice guys. Excited. They spoke to me as if they knew me before I knew them.

Then the director asked me if i was ready.

I gave her a smile and a thumbs up.

Then my co-stars walked in.

The director said "Quiet please, people settle down...and... Action!"

And the rest is television history...

The episode that I starred in brought in both the highest ratings of the series

and the highest ratings on cable TV at that time.

Um I didn't watch it.

I realized what I had done and had second thoughts about it.

I haven't told anyone that was me until just now.

Maria says I need to talk about these types of things more.

Share my experiences. Right a book.

Maybe another time perhaps.

This admission is enough for now.

I know that in the early stages of Jennifer's career she did things that she regretted too.

So its okay. We've all had to do it at some point.

I think her decision not to have it come out was a good idea.

Bey I wanted to tell you this before but I didn't have the guts to tell you.

I wanted you to like me.
















#84 Posted : Thursday, April 11, 2013 2:08:39 PM(UTC)
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Hi. I want you.

You know I'm still having that dream.

You know the one where we switch roles and I put on a wig and some lipstick.

We become each other.

No. Not just for sex but as another way to understand each other better.

To become more than what really are.

We start by interacting with each other showing each other the differences between ourselves.

Indulging in all kinds of activities and fantasies.

Immerse ourselves deeper into who we are and what we mean to each other.

I'm willing to see you see me as someone else.

I also want to see you be who you want to be.

Just in case you forgot..

I take it with cream and lots and lots of Equal.

And that means exactly what it says...

Good night Maria. Good night Jennifer. Good night Britney.

And a good Good night to you two Bey.


#85 Posted : Thursday, April 11, 2013 3:13:08 PM(UTC)
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Hi. Yeah I was thinking the exact same thing.

So anyway, since we are just thinking about the same thing.

Its time for more of (tada) "True Story Time"

Episode 300  "A girl named Ami"

A million years ago I knew this very very very pretty girl we'll call Ami.

She was a good good friend.

We had a lot of fun together.

Dimples. A great smile. Very pretty.

She was an actress who happen to look just like Susan Sarandon.

Um I had a huge HUGE crush on her.

And of course being the spineless wallflower that I am, I didn't tell her.

We would go out sometimes to a bar on North Moore street.

The crazy thing about the place was that the waitresses actually danced on the tables.

This was the reason to go other than seeing beautiful Ami of course.

Sometimes I felt like we were a couple when she wasn't going out with the "cute" guys.

I was a fall back option. A back up plan. Plan Y.

I liked her. I put up with it. I took what I could get.

Um we would talk on the phone a lot.

You know sometimes until dawn.

I would hear her sleeping on the phone and I would tell her that I should go.

Then she would say, "No. Don't go. I'm listening. Keep talking. I'm listening..."

I said okay.

So I would talk about nothing something anything while she slept.


We went back and forth for awhile.

I'd see her there. She'd see me there. Maybe a bite to eat. See a movie. Nothing.

Ami was pretty. She would date good looking guys and then dump them.

Afterwards she wouldn't talk about it.

I think the break up was enough and talking to me meant nothing at all so

all of our conversations were about me cheering her up. She thought I was funny.

After several near miss boyfriends and more nights of endless chatting on the phone.

Um I decided that I had had enough.

That I was gonna do something for a change.

Not sit back and not get noticed anymore.

Send some signals. You know be more available. 

So after not speaking for awhile Ami threw a party at her place.

Her place was cool. It was a railroad loft. 

Her family made up the jazz group "The Manhattan Transfer"

They were very good. I didn't understand who they were until later on in life.

I had no idea.

Touring, sold out shows, platinum records, everything. They are great.

And Ami was their precious precious daughter.

So anyway she invited me.

Everybody was there. All of us mutual friends there to celebrate Ami.

So I get there. Before I can take my coat off I meet her mother.

She was giving a long long look. Not an evil eye but maybe a dragon once over.

She wanted to know what my intentions were. I had none. Except maybe Mexico.

But seriously she was very polite and so was I

Um luckily I was able to meet someone else that i knew, a girl we'll call Sarah.

Sarah also was very very pretty. 

I don't remember what we talked about I was just relieved to get away from Ami's mother.

I'm not exactly sure what happened next.

We got drinks. Juice. We kept talking for about a minute and we ended up in the other room.

I thin it was a closet. A dark closet. I'm not sure why we were there.

So I'm in a dark dark closet with very very pretty Sarah someone who I hardly knew.

I knew her in passing. We were friends through other people.

I didn't have her phone number and didn't ask her for it because I was too busy chasing Ami around New York.

We started kissing.

She was a great kisser. I was shocked. 

After several moments Ami walked in on us.

It was like time had stopped. Everything was in slow motion.

I remember pulling away from deliciously hot Sarah.

I was still thinking to myself why didn't you tell me.

Ami was shocked. Her mouth open.

She was looking at me like what are you doing with her at my party.

Then she said something like "Don't stay in here, we are going to have cake now, come out, join us."

I just looked at her. 













#86 Posted : Friday, April 12, 2013 2:50:22 PM(UTC)
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Hi. I have a great idea. Check this out..


"Maria Sugarpova Pops"

Women only oversized jumbo popsicles!

Foot long ice cream bars on a stick!

Made with all natural ingredients like Ginseng, Gyoba, etc.

Fat free. No sodium. Sticks!

Made with just love no additives or preservatives.

A cool long think suck on a hot hot summer day.

And look! Maria Sugarpova Pops comes in all of these assorted flavors!

Rain, Cherry, Snow, Leaf, Mint, Mocha, Whip, Morning, and Midnight!

Lets face it Maria has a beautiful beautiful mouth,

why not make it even more interesting to look at...

Okay player, here comes the jingle..

"Maria Pops, mmm, far out.."

So what do you think?

#87 Posted : Sunday, April 14, 2013 3:51:58 PM(UTC)
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Hi. Thinking about you in the shower.

Wow! I ache all over.

My two thirty just left.

Sienna is nice. I like her.

We disagree to disagree.

I think she has what it takes to be an excellent excellent student.

She's been through a lot in the business.

She's surprisingly candid.

It as if she wants people to know what happened.

She just lets it all out when she's not asked to.

Sometimes in the midst of it all I have to ask her to stop 

because its hard to hear some of the gory details.

I tell her that I'm flattered but this isn't therapy.

I'm not a guru.

I can't make it all go away.

I say her to, "Sienna focus. Focus on me. 

Concentrate on what happening right now between us.

The other stuff is in the past now. Its over. Done with.

Why remember something that didn't work out before?"

She looks at me and says that she decided on trying this to get a better understanding 

of who she is and what she wants out of life.

That she has many many things that she wants to accomplish and that she thought

my teachings would help her get to where she wants to go in her life.

Um then we changed positions.

Then I said, "Sienna, anything you learn here won't matter to you in terms 

of what you do day in day out, but in time I think we can help you see things more clearly.

See it differently. Meet your expectations. Find yourself."

I think Jennifer hit it right on the head.

Her assessment of Sienna's situation was right on.

Coming to see me was her her best best option.

I think after today we can start her on the next phase of her training.

She seemed pleased with how it went.

I think I can help her if she is willing to let it all go.

I never charge for the first lesson and I think she left feeling like I wanted

to help her and not take her for granted.

There are so many bad apples out there um I try to be the nectarine.

The person these gals can come to to make it right.

I try to help them establish an inner place of peace and freedom.

A place that only they can recognize.

A place that they can go to anywhere anytime.

I like to keep things straight forward.

You know wash the colors with the colors and the whites with the whites.

Sienna was delicate. Very fragile walking in the door. A do not dry item.

Like Britney she has a long long way to go but I think I can help her realize her potential.









#88 Posted : Sunday, April 14, 2013 4:31:43 PM(UTC)
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Hi. I bought my ticket for Germany.

So anyway...

I'm in bed at midnight on a Friday night because of you.

No. Its not because of you.

Its because Jennifer won't stop calling me.

Bey left and Jennifer decided to take her place and call me over and over again.

I'm not sure what to do about it.

It was one thing when she would show up by herself.

Raid my fridge and peek at what I was working on.

Now its, "I'm outside. Hurry up. Let me in its cold. New car again?

Get dressed because I'm with Elin, Courteney, and Chelsea."

Then its for women for kisses.

And back to Jennifer's never ending investigation.

"What are doing in here? No beer? Loser.

Whose been here? Tramps I see.

What's with all the Katy Perry stuff?

Isn't this Gwyneth's? 

Who in the world is..   Alexandra?!?

All this "headache" while Brooke is on the phone trying to get directions

to my house for a party that I wasn't planning on throwing.

It was okay once but not night after night.

Thats how this whole thing started with Bey.

She was being chased by the paparazzi and I was hiding from both Jennifers.

So we hid together. Alone. In the dark.

For hours and hours and hours.

We could hear Jennifer stalking outside.

She was saying, "I know your in there. This isn't funny.

Come out here. You can run but you can't hide...

Shh, what's that?

Shh.. Shh.. Listen... Shut up.. Listen..


Then she would whisper, "I can hear him in there."

We were huddled together in the corner.

Scared. Afraid to move. Bey couldn't believe it.

She smiled and put her hand up as if to give me a high five.

I had no idea what that really meant.

I was like, "Ow! Take it easy. Where did you learn to do something like this, a prison movie?"

She would just say behind me, "Shut up."

Then she would say under her breath,

"Just a little bit longer okay. I promise. Then we'll switch."

This back and forth went on for awhile but she always had to leave when it was my turn to bat.

Word got out that women, celebs, were hiding at my house.

That my place was a safe haven and that I was just a nice nice guy.

A push over.

Thats when I met Heidi.

She told me she was at Trump's golf course and stayed late.

"Can I stay there until they go away?"

I said, "Um okay but i'm not dressed. Madonna just left."

She said, "Oh no problem. I won't look."

So we hung up. I turned off the light again, threw on my robe, and went to answer the door.

She was smiling from ear to ear. Very tall. Beautiful.

She was wearing all of her golf gear and holding a box of pizza from down the road.

I said, "Hi." 

She smiled and said, "Great idea!"




#89 Posted : Sunday, April 14, 2013 6:35:23 PM(UTC)
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Hi. I can't sleep.

I'm listening to Sade sing "Jezebel".

You make my head spin. 

Its a problem.

Um I have a lot of work to do.

Your my beautiful distraction.

My reason to look away.

Maybe it is a good idea that we spend some time apart.

Okay maybe not.

I don't know. Germany is so far away.

I fell for you when I saw the photo of you signing away your outfits.

Seeing you just writing your name over and over again.

Sadly beautiful.

When I tell them that I'm staying behind um not going with you, they just look at me.

They look at me and coyly smile as if its just not worth waiting for you.

As if your incapable of that kind of relationship.

"She's way too jet set for you, she's never here." they say.

People want to see you fail especially when it isn't about them.

Especially when it comes to something they haven't been able to find in their own life.

They think that I won't be able to wait.

That I'll break.

That I'll make other "arrangements".

That you will continue to meet someone in every city that you go to.

They say to me, "What on Earth separates you from the rest of them in her harem?"

I just look at them.

I close my eyes and I see you there.

Getting out of the black car.

Opening your umbrella to shield you from the hard wet rain.

Your wearing a black Nike jump suit with a bright red zipper.

You look around.

You see me.

You tell the driver something.

You start walking towards me.

Big long strides.

Beautifully athletic.

Strong. Confident.

You kiss me hello.

Your face wet but your lips warm.

We just stand there quietly, waiting for the storm to pass.






#90 Posted : Monday, April 15, 2013 3:35:28 PM(UTC)
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Hi. I can't sleep. Your going to be busy.

My gladiator getting ready to enter the ring.

Germany needs to see what they've been missing.

Your such a jock. I love it.

So anyway with all that going on there is no way for me to be on your menu.

You make me hungry and I haven't eaten out in awhile.


Um speaking of eating out I've been walking around with Jennifer a lot more than usual.

We share stories of love, lies, lust, and heartbreak.

I like that she can move from one subject to the next without missing the truth 

in all of the lies.

I always end up just trying to keep up with her.

Its not just her smile and the hair um its also her understanding.

Her ego. Her commitment to focusing just on the truth.

Yeah she gets it all. Everything. And its sexy.

I on the other hand, don't get it at all.

Um I fall in to the traps so much easier than she does.

I try to relate to her but my lack of experience goes a long long way.

I mean she makes me look at things from a completely different perspective all together.

I should have asked for more from her when I had the chance.

You know asked her to kick off her high heels, stay awhile, and show her real self to me.

But its just not me.

I'm not the ultimatum guy.

I'm the "Shut up and let her do what she wants guy."


Um we wait around a lot together.

We wait for things to start.

We wait for things to finish.

We wait for the final whatever.

We wait just to wait again.

We wait for love. We wait inside. 

We wait in bed.


Maria, my darling.

You are my Matador.

My Ms. Wrong.

My Fear that she wants to leave.

My princess. My dearest dearest love..

Jennifer said that she would wait with me.

Wait up. Wait with me for you to come back.

Turn off her phone. Hold all of her calls.

I agreed so we will be waiting for you together.

Um Its a fun idea, right?

I mean no more hiding.

Um so don't hurry back on my account.

I'm okay with it.

Um I hope that you are too.

This doesn't mean that anything has changed between us.

That will never happen.

Not with you.

Um I just need more time to adjust.

And Jennifer said she that would be a shoulder for me to cry on If I needed it.

And I need it.

This way you can go out and hump the entire galaxy if you want to.

Look um I'm just letting you off the hook.

When you get back lets go back to now.

Lets go back to us. Go back to you and me.

Back to alone at night. Back to bed.


Always darling. Always always always.






#91 Posted : Tuesday, April 16, 2013 11:30:31 AM(UTC)
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Hi. I've been very lucky.

Another one that I wont ever forget..

A sweet sweet thing we'll call "More".

I was in love with her.

She was younger than she looked.

We met through other people.

Um we were both too too young.

I didn't know what to do.

She was so fragile and delicate.

She kept calling me.

Again and again.

We would talk on the phone and after awhile I would finally break the silence

and say "Come over."

And she would smile through the phone and say "Okay."

It was as if she was just waiting for me to say it.


It starting getting out of control right away.

She started cutting class to see me.

Saying to whomever whatever she needed to say.

She was lying about her whereabouts to be with me.

When she wasn't there I couldn't get her out of mind.

I would hesitate to do anything in case she wanted to see me.

I didn't want to admit that I liked her.

So much so that I started seeing her when she wasn't there.

Um sometimes we would secretly meet and close my door.

Hide from the world. Our neighbors. Our parents.


I didn't know what it is that we were to each other,

but whatever it was I wasn't ready for it.

"Romeo and Juliet" but everybody lives.

We were young so we didn't know any better.

I didn't want any one to think that i was taking for granted. I liked her.

One morning after yet another long session of just laying in my bed talking.

We decided that we should do it.

I had already done it so I knew what to expect.

I remember looking at her and thinking that I wanted her experience 

to be meaningful, slow and gentle, with lots and lots of love.

Your right.

I thought I was the unspeakable arrogant self absorbed bastard.

Something happened. I don't know. She turned my head.


Um I should have turned her away but i couldn't bring myself to tell her not to come over.

Just looking at her tall big boned body broke my heart.

She was very quiet. Timid and smart.

She kept her head down a lot. Her hair in her face.

She moved when I moved. Spoke when I spoke. Laughed when I laughed.

We became inseparable. Two headed. One.

All this without doing it.

Meanwhile we were going to great great lengths just to be together.

We would talk about her day and she would tell me how badly people were treating her.

She said she thought it was because she was a good student.

I thought it was because she was very tall, shy, and a little bit awkward.

She was beautiful.

So anyway, we would just talk.

She had a hard time speaking up so it took time to get her to open up.

You know feel good about who she was, feel good about herself.

Then she would feel better and we would get dressed and say good bye.

And the very next day she would come back.

I would tell her I'll see you soon and soon would end up being the very next day

because I just couldn't say no.

She started coming over unannounced. Surprising me.

She would say what she needed to say to come to me.

Sometimes she would just call me and not say anything, not even hello.

Eventually I would say hi and she would just say hi back.

After several moments of not saying anything except hi

I would say, "Do you want come over?"

And she would say "Okay" smiling as she did it.

It was a love affair. Something more than close.

Thats when we did it. Um we both wanted it. So we did it.

I took her virginity.

And I still have it now.

Its that invisible tattoo that never washes off. Never gets removed. 

And it stays with me forever.


It felt so good that we couldn't stop doing it.

We kept doing it over and over again.

And thats when things got out of hand.

They invaded my room.

Went through my things.

Broke us up. Forbid her to see me.

She disobeyed. 

We were in love at that point.

And thats when they took her away.

Thats when they sent her away.

I was devastated. 

Um she haunted me for years and years after that.

I never saw her again.

I've been thinking about her a lot "more" lately.

I wonder why.






#92 Posted : Tuesday, April 16, 2013 12:32:12 PM(UTC)
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Hi. Its me.

I told Maria what the plan was.

She thought it was a good idea.

This way she can concentrate on her game and you can do the same.

I'm not nearly as thick skinned as you are.

i'm only doing this because I think it will help everyone involved.

Its a good trade. Everybody wins something. I hope.

Um lets take it slow. I still not me yet.

Maria tied me up in knots.

I need more time to walk away.

Lets regroup later on. Sometime next week.

Lets just let Maria leave. Show her a united front.

Make sure that she sees what she needs to see and that she has nothing at all to worry about.

Lets get it all ready. Dig deep.

Find out who we really really are.

You know get ready for the long haul.

I think we have enough time and with Maria out of the way I won't be distracted

from what it is that you really really want from me.

Its funny when Elena would go it was just another road trip. No strings. No long good byes.

We weren't joined at the HEAD racquet.

I guess its all for the best. I mean I want her to play well. Do well.

I don't want anything to stand in her way.

You offering to help me get over her was a great great gesture of friendship.

Um I really do appreciate it.

No wonder Courteney gushes about you to everyone under the sun.

Um I know we've had our differences.

You breaking into my house.

Discovering me and Bey together.


Discovering me with the other Jennifer.

Your lack of respect for the privacy of all of my students.


Um I know we both said some things that we really didn't mean.

Lets just go back to what we were before Maria.

Friends but not like anything on the show.

I won't talk about Maria.

I won't bore you with the details of our courtship.

We agreed that a "time out" was the best thing to do.

And for your part you won't show up here uninvited anymore.

No more calls about my whereabouts.

No more asking around about me.

No more stalking. 

Your car stays parked on the street.

You don't pull the car right up to my front door with the brights on anymore.

No more barricading me inside.

No more peeking in when you don't get what you want.

No more hang ups. No more tantrums.

Also "outside" doesn't come here to my door to pick you up anymore.

You drive yourself here.

Worst case scenario I can start picking you up at the train station again.

If we learn how to communicate better I think we can resolve a lot of issues.

Things that have been bothering us.

Things that came between us.

I'm not saying we should go back to dancing naked in the dark by candlelight.

I'm just saying that we should act more like adults.

Behave on more constructive level as friends.

Let cooler heads prevail.

Okay so lets meet halfway. Grow together. And see where this takes us.

This is Maria at her beautifully cruel love them and leave them best.

Her "manizer" in my face. Her leaving just to haunt me.


Thank God your here Jennifer.

Thank God.




#93 Posted : Tuesday, April 23, 2013 12:23:59 PM(UTC)
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Hi. Long time no hear. Still fighting for the right.

I stayed away. I didn't want to ruin your birthday.

I miss you. I'm thinking of you.

You'll be hearing from here more often from now on.

You were right this "time out" did wonders.

It made me think about what I want.

Like is this something that I want to seriously consider

or is this thing with you just a passing fancy.

Its HARD to tell.

I can only go on what I feel and my feelings for you have gotten stronger.

Um I need some more time to think things through.

But I wanted to know that you are here in spirit with us.

That we are PULLING for you and we want nothing to stand in your way.

We want you here.

Preferably after winning but losing is a great reason to have to cheer you up.

We wanted to speak up on your birthday.

We wanted to say thank you.

We wanted you to know that your great and that you should keep winding the clock forward.

Your beauty belongs to you.

Your in both of our hearts...



#94 Posted : Tuesday, April 23, 2013 1:04:14 PM(UTC)
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Hi. Diets.

I swear every time Britney or Jennifer come over they want to borrow money.

So I tell Jennifer that I'm building a second story and that the contractor has to give me yet 

another estimate. The restoration is going to cost me thousands more.

Then I said, "So I have to tighten my belt, I'm seriously cash strapped right now."

She just looks at me.

Then I said, "Get it from Britney."

She leaves.

That same night Britney arrives surprisingly on time for her seven-thirty appointment with me.

I say to her smiling, "Your early. I am impressed. Maybe we are finally making some progress."

Then she says with her coat still on, "Can I borrow $200?"

Then she says, "I lent money to Jennifer didn't she tell you?"

I just looked at her.

You know you would think that one of these billionaires would have

gas money, car fare, food money, a place to sleep, money to pay me.


But no. These two walk in like they live in Calcutta begging me for loose change and food.

Do you know what's it like to be eating something and have someone sit right next to you watching every move you make?

Every bite? Their hand right lying in wait next to your plate after telling you that they aren't hungry.

Having to watch every move they make when you get up as to see if they have eaten something off of your plate.

That is Jennifer and Britney.

You've seen them in the tabloids.

Sweatpants. Just out of bed. In their pajamas out for coffee or god knows what.

Well here's the part that nobody knows.


The bodyguards pay for EVERYTHING.

The three of us walk into Starbucks. No bodyguards.

Britney orders everything under the sun turns to me and smiles and says, "I'll get the next one."

Jennifer just assumes that I'm paying because well thats Jennifer being Jennifer.

She orders everything else kissing me as she does it.

So the morning coffee costs like $35 bucks.


This is why I charge them so much for what I do.



#95 Posted : Tuesday, April 23, 2013 2:02:25 PM(UTC)
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Hi. Don't forgive me.

I need to know what the definition of a "time out" is.

I know your end of it chapter and verse.

Yeah its rule number 2, paragraph six, the third stanza from your own personal relationship section.

"I can do it wherever and with whomever I want to whenever I see fit to do so.

You have no say in the matter. I make a racquet on and off the court.."


Fine. Okay. Um I think your entitled. 

So be it.

But what about me?

What? You don't think I would?

Well then my dear you underestimate me.

And obviously it wouldn't be with just anyone.

I don't think it would make a difference to you if it was say Mary a coed from Bronxville.

I think you would just laugh and say have fun with that.

Now lets say for much much more fun

that the woman is an international superstar like yourself.

A household name known the world over like yourself.

Do the same rules apply?

Do I have to get permission?

I'm not talking about Jennifer.


You know this is something that should have been discussed before you left.

It seems like everything happens on your time.

If I don't get it in then its not discussed.

And I'm not talking about any of my other students either.

I think we need to clarify some things between us.

Jennifer and I had a long long talk the other night.

She said some things, I said some things.

We cleared the air and I felt a whole lot better about everything afterwards.

It was difficult being in bed with her again.

No nothing happened.

Just the usual Jennifer stuff.

But I will say she's even funnier after she eats six hot dogs.

I was surprised that we didn't touch each other.

No massages.

No brushing up against one another.

No wrestling. No nothing.

We just talked in the dark.

She says that I'm waiting for a player to stop playing.

She said, "Why wait to play when your not sure she is going to play with you?"

I told her you bring lots and lots of desirable things to the table.

Then she says, "So your saying that I don't bring anything to the table?"

Then I said, "No Jennifer you bring EVERYTHING humanly possible to the table.

Its so massive it blocks out the sun. I don't want to drown in your life.

Then she sat up turned to me and said,

"It wasn't always about me.

I made time to be with you while you were busy chasing Maria around the galaxy!

What was I supposed to do sit here and wait for you to realize that she isn't the person 

that you think that she is!

You pushed me away! I didn't leave!

Why does everything have to be so complicated all the time!

I can't believe I'm putting up with this BS!

Maria!?! Maria!?! 

I can't believe I put up with this crap!

Then she laid back down. Her head resting on my shoulder.

Then she sat back up and said-

"You know what, you know what, you have to respect me.

Respect my needs. My friends. My choices. Respect who I am.

I don't know what this is between you and Maria but as soon as she leaves its finished."

Then she laid back down.

Then she sat up again and said-

"You know what, you know what, here's something you didn't know mister smart guy.

I used to play.

Did you know that?

Did you know that I used to play?

I played in college!

And I was pretty good too!


I don't understand what makes her so great because she plays tennis!

Why is she so great? 

Come on, don't be bashful, tell me!

Tell me why she is so great!

I just looked at her.






#96 Posted : Tuesday, April 23, 2013 3:40:05 PM(UTC)
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Are you ok ?? I think you need some help.
#97 Posted : Tuesday, April 23, 2013 4:33:52 PM(UTC)
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Hi. Trouble.

Jennifer came back after she walked out.

She apologized.

She said she said some things that she didn't mean.

I said that it was okay.

I didn't know what to say at that point.

She throws this stuff at me and I don't know if I want to catch it.

Then she kissed me.

It was a long kiss.

We stood there for several minutes.

I got completely lost in her mouth.

Then she pushed me down to her knees.

My head down to her waist.

I looked up at her.

She started undoing her jeans.

I said, "What are you doing?"

She didn't say anything.

I said, "We can't do this."

She was wearing purple underwear.

I said, "I'm not ready for this. Seriously lets talk about this first."

She just stood there looking down at me.

Then she pulled down her underwear.

It was like seeing God.

I couldn't move.

She placed my hands on her hips.

Then she said, "Lets play a game, it's called Down on your Knees."

I said, "What?"

She said, "What are you waiting for?

I said, "Jennifer, you don't want to do this."

Thats when she grabbed my head and pushed my face in.


#98 Posted : Tuesday, April 23, 2013 4:53:22 PM(UTC)
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Hi. The aftermath.

Jennifer isn't here. She went to the store.

Um we haven't left the apartment for three days.

I'm not sure what to say.

I'm telling you because nothing has changed.

I'm still waiting for you to take care of everything.

You know come back so we can be together.

Um Jennifer won't stay.

She will be done with me in no time.

I'm not anything more than a toy.

She'll play with me and then get bored.

Throw me away with all of her other misfit toys.

Place me somewhere and show me to friends as something that she used to have interest in.

A been there done that.

A has been. A forgotten to forget.

A gift left behind.

Um I've been that my whole life.

I've been thrown away many many times before by people who I thought meant more to me.

Um I don't regret what's happened.

I wanted to do it first anyway.

I knew that I would find out that you did it.

So i did it ahead of time.

I didn't want to sit with it.

I didn't want you to break it to me and tell me that it didn't mean anything

and that you'll make it up to me.

Its okay um have at it.

Don't stop on my account.

Jennifer and I said all kinds of things to each other about you while we were doing it.

I don't want to say what.

I won't say what.

Um I will say that if you care about someone, that you end up being who the other person wants you to be.

So then you were there too.

Um sorry, I know how that must sound.

And I'm not saying that i was thinking about you while I was with her.

No nothing like that.


So um thats what happened.

And as I said before nothing has changed.

I'm here waiting.

You know working on stuff for others.

Um I'll let you know how this plays out but i don't think that this is anything more than

two people waiting for two people.

Yeah we said a lot of things to each other um I'm hoping that we can remain friends

and not let this come between us.

Okay so um i'll be around.

I haven't forgotten your birthday. Buy.




#99 Posted : Tuesday, April 23, 2013 5:42:11 PM(UTC)
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So it was just the three of us on a getaway.

Jennifer had the flashlight, Courteney had the lighter, and I had the lantern.

It was scary. Pitch black.

The three of us in the middle of nowhere with no power.

A big big house with hardly anything in it.

Jennifer couldn't remember where the fuse box was so we were searching around for it.

You would think big tough Courteney wouldn't be scared because of all of the horror movies

but she was terrified and clutching my arm wherever we went.

Every time Courteney would grab me Jennifer would turn around and give me the "behave" face.

I looked at her like its not me.

Then Jennifer would take control.

Stand in between us and give me the "your in trouble" look.

Then she said, "Lets look over there."

Then we started arguing about who should go first.

Courteney went right back to clutching on to me with everything she was worth.

She was glued to me and Jennifer didn't like it.

She stopped and said, "Don't you think you should be carrying the flashlight?"

Challenging my manhood instead of just admitting that her memory stinks

and that if she would just remember where the fuse box was

that we wouldn't be clutching each other in the dark.

I say fine and I took the flashlight.

Both ladies were very close behind me, holding on to me for dear life.

We look behind the furniture, the art work, open doors trying to find the fuse box.

Jennifer whispered to Courteney, "Look, look under there. It might be there.."

While Courteney bends over to look Jennifer turns my head and kisses me.

Its a passionate kiss. I hand the flashlight to Courteney without looking at her.

Jennifer starts undoing my pants her tongue in my mouth.

I can hear Courteney whispering, "Guys? Guys? What's going on?

Don't you think we should find the.."

Jennifer leans past me pulls Courteney towards her, grabs her face and kisses her.

I'm in the middle of them.

Just standing there watching them kiss.

Its a long deep kiss.

Something long overdue. Something missed.

Something in the nick of time.

Courteney is startled by it.

Her eyes wide open with after-the-fact shock.

I take the flashlight back from Courteney.

The two of them lip locked to each other.

Holding on to each other like there was no tomorrow.

Like it was there only chance.

Like finally nobody can see us.

I light the lantern. Look around.

I hear them kissing quietly.

It reminds me that I'm a third wheel.

It reminds me that your not here..

I keep looking and its a nice place, too bad we can't find the lights.

I feel a tug on the back of my shirt.

Its Jennifer, she says "Any progress?"

I say, "Well that depends on what you call progress."

We both laugh under our breath while she smacks me lightly on the face as if to say "behave".

I look at Courteney.

She just guy nods me as if nothing happened. 

Puts her hair up and says, "Lets go."

Thats Courteney.

It doesn't matter how it looks as long as it happens behind closed doors.

I couldn't tell if she was just pretending that that never happened before

or if they had been doing it for years.

Regardless they were beautiful together.

I remember being speechless watching them kiss.

Their faces together. 

Their mouths open, searching for even more than that was there.

I only stood there for a minute.

I couldn't watch.

I knew what it meant to them by just looking at them.

It was everything and nothing, nothing and everything all at once.


We eventually found the box.

Saw some fireflies. Listened to the crickets.

Laughed, told ghost stories, made popcorn and went to bed.

I couldn't help but hear them next to me.

Two women in the dark.

It only made me think about you even more.

Forgive me.










#100 Posted : Tuesday, April 23, 2013 6:46:06 PM(UTC)
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The Red or the Purple/This is me...then.

Jennifer. Long time no see.

This sounds serious.

I'll step aside if you want me to.

I'll stop listening.


I keep having this dream now that Bey left.

It starts with you and me and we are out on the town.

We decide to go down to Little Italy.

You know spaghetti, sausages, meatballs, the works.

We find a restaurant on Mott Street. 

We go inside.

You look beautiful and I look much much much better with you.

We sit down.

The waiter says that tonight is a special night and since we are who you are we get to eat upstairs.

You look at me and I say, "Baby what do you think, do you want to go upstairs with me?"

You smile and say, "Anywhere"

So with that we all go upstairs.

The waiter leads us to two curtains.

One red and one purple.

He says to me that I should choose which curtain we want to dine behind.

I say to him, "You want me to choose the red or the purple, which room we should eat in?"

He says, "Yes, to please choose the red or the purple, please choose."

I turn to you. 

You look at me as if to say lets get the hell out of here.

I ask him if we can have a moment.

He says okay but doesn't walk away.

I turn to you and under my breath say, "Do you want to leave?"

You look at me.

Then you look at him.

You look at both curtains.

Then you smile and say, "Um we came all this way lets try it. Why not."

Its a relief to say the least.

I turn to him and say, "She wants to stay."

He says, "Very good sir, please choose now, the Red or the Purple?"

I look at you.

Your smiling, being patient. Lovely.

Looking wonderful. Radiant.

With you around it doesn't matter you make anything look good.

I turn to him and say, "Is there a difference between the two curtains um rooms, 

you know the view, the size of the table, etc.

Is one a smoking room?"

He says, "No sir no smoking, and both rooms are the same. Identical. 

Now you may choose, the Red or the Purple."

Without looking like I can't make a decision I turn to you and say,

"I'm gonna go with the Red okay?"

You say, "Why red?"

I turn to him and smile politely.

"Can we have just one more minute, just one more minute?"

The waiter laughing while he says it says,

"No problem sir, you take all the time you need.

We wait for you and your beautiful wife to make a decision, take your time.

At this point my stomach is in my throat.

My head spinning.

I turn to you, wonderfully patient you, and say-"You don't like red?"

You say, "Red is okay I just thought you were trying to say something else."

Then I say, "I wouldn't say anything like that here.

Something that important deserves a much more important place."

You just look at me.

Then I say, "Why do you like the purple one? 

Your so much better with colors than I am, am I missing something?"

Its at that moment that Bey walks up the stairs..










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