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#61 Posted : Sunday, March 31, 2013 1:03:14 PM(UTC)
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I couldn't resist.

Must you follow me all over town when your in town.

Thats a nice tail you got there. I'm not jealous.

Is that costume part of the act too?


So anyway, Maria said it was okay to post to you here so I figured why not.

Its been a tough week.

Maria dumped me on Monday.

Yeah I know. She eats all kinds of cake and eats a lot of it too.

You have no idea how bad I feel.

Its been an emotional roller coaster for me since she left me.

It was topsy turvy from the beginning.

She heard some things. Untrue things.

Things that people said that weren't true.

Terrible things. Unspeakable things.

She succumb to the pressure.

I don't blame her.

She has her career to think about.

She can't have these types of distractions hanging over her head.

Even the great and powerful Maria finally caved in.

Its okay. We keep fighting.

Its me versus 300.

Every day every night they never ever close.

They make my life difficult.

I make their life difficult.


Boy do I miss Whitney, I'm listening to her now-

"You are loved..."

A great great song on Princess Diana's tribute album.

Whitney is missed. She really is.

Hopefully she is up in heaven doing duets with Michael.

So anyway I hate them and they hate me.

Maria I like a lot. Too much.

More than i want to admit.

So I'm relieved that its over.

Um I don't want to get into something that I can't walk away from

and Maria is very very much that.

Jennifer went out and got married so that only leaves one person left.


But moving on from Maria will take time.

A lot of time.

Buy Bey. Buy.





#62 Posted : Sunday, March 31, 2013 1:21:29 PM(UTC)
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Bey. Okay. Fine.

We really have to stop meeting like this.

I wish you the best of luck on your upcoming world tour.

Go for it! Win the crowd. Send me a postcard or something.

As for me I'm watching "The Break Up" for the trillionth time.

And I have come to the conclusion the Jennifer Aniston

is one of the most beautiful women that i have ever seen.

Question for my ex, Maria.

Do you play video games?

Tennis video games?

Do you ever play yourself?

If you do what do you think of your likeness?

Do you think the character they put together looks like you?

Does the character play like you would?

If you could choose who would you play against man or woman in a video game?

I know, another dumb question by the cardiac kid.

This movie kills me because she looks great and her boyfriend completely 

ignores her in the movie.

Good movie and all but way way WAY too far fetched.

No one dumps Jennifer looking this good.

Not even me.





#63 Posted : Sunday, March 31, 2013 4:57:10 PM(UTC)
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Hi. Having still so much more with you...

Um when you go on the road I go on the road too.

You board a plain. I surf.

You check into a hotel. I just hotel.

You train. I, well maybe another time I'll tell you about it.

I have love issues. Women issues.

Its like a wound that won't heal.

Its like a woman who said it only to take it away and give it to someone else.

Thats what Jennifer did.

Don't mess with a man scorned LOL.

Now she is getting it. Now its sinking in. I hope.

Actually I'm not bitter.

I wish them only happiness. Loyalty. Respect.

A love that never happens to anyone except them.

A silent love song that nobody knows, except them.

And everything else that goes with such a huge commitment.

Um I used to think he was the luckiest guy in the world.

Now I think he's just lucky.

I know. I'll stop. I'm hiding the lie for the truth to come out.

Hiding my disbelief.

Did I mention I was in a tub?


Anyway its a nice tub.

Its not big enough for everything though hint hint.

Thats what this rope here is for.

Sometimes I just tie it down but most of the time I just wrap it around the sink.

"Anaconda". Jennifer Lopez.

Heck of a movie. You probably haven't seen it.

If I were in the movie I would play the role of the snake.

No no they wouldn't need to use any three dimensional cameras.

With her running around the set um they wouldn't need to.


Oh come on, its not THAT bad. We are both adults.

If I can't do it at least let me talk about it.

Anyway women, beautiful women torture my soul.

And then the bubbles say...

"We can't replace being with a woman.

Go out. What are you afraid of?

She's getting married, she's dating a younger guy,

she's about to board a plain and not come back for several months.

What's the next excuse going to be?

She's found a new guy and is moving to Las Vegas?

How much longer are you going to HANG OUT with us?

You can't marry Sade so what's the plan?"


Look. I'm just not ready alright!

And I wouldn't know where to go write now anyway.

Social sights? Yuck.

I can't. There is nowhere people like you and me and Maria to just go.

They think just because because.

They forget that we are human too.

They make us run. Drive away to come back.

Use five different ways of communicating just to say three words.


One day I'll have my feast. My orgy.

No no nothing like that Maria, God.

Where are you at these days?

Get your head out if the gutter.

I'm serious.

God give me some credit even if i am what Jennifer calls me-

"Mr. Wrong"

Go ahead, listen to the words. She says thats me.

But I don't think its true.

I right you everyday.

That must count for something.

I mean look at me.

I'm being good. Sitting at home waiting.

Alone in a tub on a Saturday night righting you.

Not true. Sade is keeping me company.

Alright alright I'm getting prune.

Its time to leave all-all of this luxury.

Um its time to um.. pay the rent to put it mildly.

My eleven o'clock will be here in no time.

Smart gal. 

No no sex. We just talk. Bake. Knit. Eat.

Its funny we talk about you all the time.

Sometimes we talk about Jennifer two.

Oh come on Maria. Stop it.

You know I can't tell you which won.

I'm not gonna double fault on match point.

You know better than that.

Put it this way. Its me versus 400.

What makes you think you could ever ever catch me...


Jennifer. Jennifer. Love her.

I see her sometimes and I get nostalgic for Sunday morning sex.

You know the "Touch me in the morning, nothing can come between us,

we help each other, talk to me, make me you sex.

Two people together that love making love.

Anyway, I had to get that out.

Its amazing that I just don't go there.

Go to her sight and just blab our relationship.

No. No. No can do.

She hates when people make a scene.

Her dirty laundry is cleaner than clean.

And i would never jeopardize anything that she keeps so close to her thigh.

As for you you don't know what its like. Your not a guy.

I take it back.

You do know what's it like to not get what you rarely ever get.

Good luck in France.

Right me. Right your soul to me.

Silently beautifully lovingly surrender.

Tell me where you are in your heart.

Lose the path.

Close your eyes and find your way to me.


Bye girl bye.














#64 Posted : Monday, April 01, 2013 12:29:57 PM(UTC)
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Hi. Its Me.

Your leaving and I'm very sad about that.

Wondering if you will remember me or if I am just another nameless face in the crowd.

It must be so hard to go from one place to another looking for it.

I envy you. Because if you find it you can't stay.

You leave it behind.

I haven't been able to move since we met.

Um I am hoping for more sunrises on a wall.

More moments of you.

But I know there are more out there.

More out there that want what I want.

You would never ask me to wait I know.

Because you know they won't...

You know how it is. Friends. Lovers.

Then in love if your lucky.

You look out the window.

The clouds underneath your wings.

You think to yourself, he was fun.

You think, I'll look him up when I get back.

Maybe his place next time.

You think about something he said about giving yourself to it.

Getting it all to give it all away.

Becoming more by using less of yourself.

I used to think this way.

The old way.

Let people take me for granted.

They would hurt me and I would forgive them.

Close my eyes to the fact that I wasn't enough for them.

Sometimes when Bey comes over we sit in the dark.

So nobody can see us. 

No we don't fool around.

We never have. We talk. 

She tells me about stuff she used to do and how its so different now.

I just listen. 

Its like storytelling but all the stories are true.

There are no fake names or conjured up fantasies.

Its just me, her, the dark, and the truth.

Sometimes I get up when she talks about sex.

No she doesn't talk about her having it but others having it.

Um I'm still not ready for that kind of talk.

Especially in the dark so no one knows that anyone is here.

Are you the same way?

Do you whisper in the dark?

Love someone in the dark?

Its okay. Alone is okay.

Let's be alone together. You and I.

We'll do what I did with Bey.

We'll just talk. Listen to the road.

Watch the car headlights flicker past and laugh quietly.

Its funny when your in bed with someone and you want, you know.


So you lay down near them but you don't touch them.

You let a leg dangle onto their side of the bed.

Do you do that too? Do you dangle?

Do you like unnecessary contact?

In the dark? With a friend? Up all night?

Bey does.

She comes here and lets her hair down.

Its not romantic. Its a break. No makeup.


Yeah I could use that again.

After Jennifer I had to go on my own for awhile.

I took it off the favorites bar.

Those days ended along time ago.

I retired. I went into hiding. I hid from everyone.

No one noticed I was gone.

I wasn't an Olympian silver medalist LOL.

No not nearly that heroic.

I wasn't someone worth mentioning or remembering.

Thats when Bey showed up.

Um totally platonic. Nothing like that at all.

She knew about Jennifer.

And even told me some major stuff about Jennifer.

One thing led to another and we ended up in the dark hiding from the paparazzi.

It was a game for her.

And she seemed to enjoy the chase. 

I didn't.

I went along with it because she's Bey, and well that was enough of a reason.

We would meet again and again and again.

I was like this push over person that she could physically dominate.

Push me aside just to cling on to me even more.

She liked barging in without calling first.

She liked being in control.

So usually the first exchange between us would be something like,

"Bey. Your here. Um great. I do have time for you.

But, from now on you must call me first before you come here.

I mean what if I wasn't here all by myself?"

She would reply while looking into the fridge,

"Feed me. Hurry up. Okay. Okay. I will. Next time I promise.

What's this? Where's mine? Scoot over."


She would do the same thing the next time. 

No call. No page. No email. No text. Nothing.

Thats when I finally had to put my foot down.

The next day I saw her pull up to the house.

I ran out the back. 

Jumped into my car and waited for her to see that I wasn't home.

After trying to barge in two more times without calling

I called her as she sped by me.

She said, "Where are you, I just left your house?"

I told her, "I'm pretending your the paparazzi. I'm hiding from you

since you insist on not calling me before you show up."

She got upset. Really upset.

"Where are you, I don't have time for this right now, I need to see you."

I said calmly, "Bey, I'm not going to tell you where I am.

You have many many cars behind you. Why should I let you lead them to me?"

She says, "Where are you!"

I say, "I'm-not-gonna-tell you when your like this. Your scaring me."

Then it gets quiet. I can hear her driving. The window is open. The street.

I can hear her singing in the background.

"Where are you?" she says calmly. Innocently. 

I paws for a minute.

She is trying to be nice. She's obviously on the run.

Probably very lost by now. Its Bey what am i supposed to do.

Jay Z would kill me if i didn't help her, forget the other reason.

I say, "Um If I tell you where I am, but will you call me before you come next time?"

She says smiling as she says it,

"Yes, I'll call. I promise. From now on. I swear. Now tell me where you are?"


Fine. I told her where we should meet.

Flash your brights twice the whole bit.

We finally get back here.

She's smiling. Relieved. Hugging me. Thanking me. Friends.

We walk in.

She pushes me up against the wall.

Grabs me by the collar and whispers angrily,


If I need to come here its for a reason!

You said you understood! You said anytime!

If you ever tell anyone I'm going to come here and kick-your-little-ass!"



I just looked at her...













































#65 Posted : Tuesday, April 02, 2013 3:03:46 PM(UTC)
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Maria you can't call my service and leave messages like that.

I know in the tennis world anything goes but I can't have it.

I am going to tell you what I told Bey.

Be polite. No hysterical phone calls.

No showing up at my house in the wee hours of the morning 

asking for money or shelter.

Communicating the right way is the right way to respect each other.

I would never say what you said.


Okay. Now that we have that behind us.

Hi. Um I had one. I know. Finally. Thanks.

You have no idea what it took.

I really really needed it.

So, will you save me now?

Bring me back to your hotel.

Maybe late late late on a Saturday or early early early on a Sunday?

Wake me up again and lay on top of me.

Let me feel your wait.

Your heartbeat. Your you.

Do you ever bring your racquet to bed? No the other one.

I didn't think so.

Well, I bring something to bed.

Um its nice. Tall. A fancy fancy girl.

She's much much too good for me...


I take my hand and make figure eights on your back while you tell me about them.

And how bad they are.

I'm hungry. Starving. But I don't tell you.

I just wait. Wait for you to notice.

Maybe the idea will come to you too.

You tell me it doesn't matter. They don't matter.

You say they get it wrong all the time.

I just look at you.

Serious. Upset. Disappointed.

I look at you and see a different woman now, someone that your not.

I pull your hair back out of your face to make sure that its still you.

Your frustrated. Tortured and tormented. 

You tell me your better than that. Better than them.

I roll on to my stomach. My but showing.

You say, I should have done this instead of that.

I just look at you.

I decide to try a different approach.

Rest my head on your thigh and wait for you to see what I want.

You say that you have to stop doing it that way.

Go up the middle. Attack.

I just listen to you talk.

I think about what might cheer you up.

(Sparkling natural Maria Water)

I think about now not being the right time again.

You say I want to change what we've been doing.

I turn on my side-not facing you.

You keep talking for awhile.

I think about you. I hear your voice but I cant hear you.

Suddenly I feel your closeness. Your right behind me.

Your arm draped around my neck. Your voice in my ear.

You say you don't mean to take this out on me.

That we should go away when this is over.

I tell you I wouldn't have it any other way.

I turn and look at you.

Sadly beautiful. 

More beautiful than I have ever known.

Even more beautiful than I knew you could be.

You just look at me.

I look down. 

Down at your cross.

Its a keep sake. 

It something that never leaves you.

A symbol that gives you the will, the strength to go on.

I wonder if I will ever be that important to you.

You tell me its not over. Your career.

You tell me your going to work harder.

Try something new but stay within the game plan.

I just look at you.

I turn back on my side again, not facing you.

Um I want to hear it. 

Be supportive.

I want to be with you.

I just think to myself is there enough time?

Will there ever be enough time for us to be together?

Or do I have to wait for another chance?

Wait for another tournament to end?

Another flight to land?

Another slam to win?

I think about all the nights alone in the dark righting you.

All the matches. All the losses. 

The winning without me being there.

The moments you made history and I wasn't there.

You tell me your not giving up.

You think if you change your grip you can get more explosiveness.

I turn back around.

I just look at you.

Your looking at me. Serious and tough.

I think your the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen.

I just listen and hope that you'll come around.

Realize the time. Realize me.

Make it back to us before its too late.

Then you tell me that your playing so much better since I came over from the states.

I just look at you.

I'm thinking great I am in there somewhere.

Then you say, "When you leave I'll have to find someone else.."

I just look at you.

I turn around again.

Looking up at the ceiling, Jennifer's voice in my head telling me 

that I don't know what I'm getting into over and over again.

Then I turn back on my side not facing you again.

You say you didn't mean it that way.

That you weren't thinking. That sometimes your English is not the best.

I tell you to forget it. That I am here for you. 

Say whatever you want. That I can handle it.

I lie to you.

I tell you Beyonce used to tell me this kind of stuff all the time.

She was unhappy. She wanted more control.

She felt like she wasn't being heard.

I turn back around and face you again.

I reach down. 

i am hoping that you will respond to me.

You just look at me.

You don't move away.

You don't move my hand.

You just look at me.

Then your phone rings.

You look at me and say, "Its time to go.."






















#66 Posted : Tuesday, April 02, 2013 3:12:22 PM(UTC)
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Enough of the nonsense.

I want my HEAD autograph.

What's the delay for Pete's sake?

Is it money?


How much is it going to cost me?

Wow THAT much!

You must be good.

Okay fair enough.

Just let me know when and where.

Just one last thing.

Do you take visa?

#67 Posted : Tuesday, April 02, 2013 6:46:15 PM(UTC)
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Hi. I just got in from the Jim.

Um I thought i saw you there.

So I lost my concentration and dropped the wait on my foot.

Ouch is write.

Um so i stopped my "Maria Workout" and limped home.

No no I'm not gonna tell you what the "Maria Workout" is.

Your a pros pro so you don't need to know.

So anyway I was thinking.

I know exactly what we should do.

It may even help your serve.

Are you ready for some more of my genius brilliance.

Okay here goes.

(drum roll please)

Dry Humping.

What? We could dry hump.

Don't be so skeptical. Seriously.

Do you know even know what dry humping is?

Its fun I promise, or I'm not "Mr. Wrong".

Um I learned how to do it from Jennifer.

But i didn't understand the whole thing behind it until Bey came over.

She's really really really good at it.

The undefeated Dry Hump champ.

Seriously I thought I was gonna burst.

I was on bottom the whole time but what else is knew.

You know the interesting thing about Bey is that she is very very quiet doing absolutely anything.

Even dry humping, in the dark, hiding from the paparazzi.

Jennifer is a whole different story.

She wakes the dead every time she comes here.

She leaves and her voice stays over.

She's great. She really is.

I mean she used to be.

But anyway back to um the Dry Humping idea.

I think this will really really help you focus more.

Its great for releasing tension, meeting new friends, and its also a great great way to get to know someone

in a way that you never ever thought that you could.

Yeah um ever since that first time with Jennifer I've been a believer ever since.

So anyway, we can do this.

You and me. Um maybe take the whole weekend. 

Since your a beginner and all I'll let you be on top.

I'll let you control all the action.

That way you'll get a much much better understanding of how to do it.

Just in case you wanted to dry hump someone else.

And you know Dry Humping isn't new.

Its been passed down from generation to generation. I think its Greek.

Its not for everybody though.

There a lot of people who think it shouldn't be done or talked about.

So you see a lot of closet humpers out there.

You know who I bet is a closet humper.

Megan Fox. The great Megan Fox.

Yeah I know she's married and she hates my guts but that doesn't mean she's not

a closet humper.

But seriously Maria, we can do this.

You could come over and we could just hang for awhile um and then we could just do it.

Wear something comfortable.

I usually wear jeans because I like how that feels.

Um you know the feeling I get.

I've never seen you in jeans so this would be a great great excuse

to put some on.

For strategic purposes the tighter the jeans the better.

Bey showed me that the secret lies in the pelvic region.

She told me thats where you get all of your motivation.

She said its her favorite workout because you never ever get tired.

Which is why we did it for hours and hours and hours.

I was impressed with her stamina. I really was.

I was doing my usual don't hurt me, covering up, no not that routine.

Thats how this whole thing with Jennifer started in the first place.

She walked in on us dry humping.

Bey was letting me have it and I got my head free and Jennifer was just sitting there watching.

I said "Bey. Bey.. Bey stop!

Stop for a second, God."

She got off of me and I put on the light.

We were both out of breath. Our clothes everywhere.

I said, "When did you get here?"

She didn't say anything.

I said, "You should have called first..  Hello?"

She stepped over all the pillows and left.

Bey and I just looked at each other.







#68 Posted : Thursday, April 04, 2013 5:25:50 PM(UTC)
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Hi. Something very important. 

A must read.

Um I hate Germany.

I can't get away.

I don't want you to go.

I'm sad. Sorry.

I know I know duty calls.

Even Mr. Wrong isn't always write.

I can't believe I didn't see you until now.

What was I thinking.

My bed is empty but my heart is not.

I found the fire that I just can't put out.


Um I haven't been to Germany.

Austria. Vienna. That neck of the woods.

Vienna home of the best pizza I ever had.

Beautiful beautiful opera houses.

Um I stayed with a brain surgeon in a large large LARGE house.

Everything was so big.

I felt so small-like Jack in Jack in the Beanstalk.

A towel was a blanket.

A sink was a tub.

And a closet was a bedroom.

Anyway his name was Atilla you know like Atilla The Hun.

Um he took me on the Orient Express.

A fancy fancy train.

Bells, whistles, black tie optional, the works.

I remember sitting there in front of all these bearded men in suits.

It was fancy fancy. Heck the waiters had waiters.

It was my first time on a train that you slept on.

Where you had a cabin and a butler.

They even announced us when we entered the dining car.

No. Not me. Never. You maybe.

I was quiet. Bashful. Unassuming. 

If they would have said my name I would have run back to America.

I remember them all looking at me. Staring at me.

I wasn't sure why.

I was the only young young person nearby other than Atilla's daughter

who was much younger, maybe thats why they kept looking.

It was like being on a movie set out of the nineteen twenties.

And every body dressed up for the ride.

Atilla gave me the guided tour. Front, back, and behind.

It was a big big engine. Coal, smoke, and everything.

The whole experience reminds me of Jennifer.

Yeah thats her alright.

One big train.

Beautiful. Exotic. Powerful. Fast.

Maybe one day after she says "I do" and everything again.

We can just get it over with.

Get a bite to eat. 

Look at each other.


I express my disbelief with the whole thing.

She calls me Mr. Wrong a thousand times.

We leave everything right there on the table.

Jump into a cab so I can drink too.

Laugh about it all till closing.

I apologize. I wish her well.

I walk her to her door.

We stand there for twenty minutes talking about absolutely nothing.

I look at her one last time to never want to see her ever again.


The train doesn't mean anything um anything at all.

Its just something large that passes through.

Sometimes she stops.

Sometimes she speeds up.

And sometimes, every once in awhile, she slows down.

And you get a chance to see her in action because she is still moving.


Um this happened to me.

It was much much larger than I expected.

I was overwhelmed. Inexperienced.

Not part of her routine. Gifted.

Um she was looking for something specific.

And I didn't see it coming. I didn't ask.

I had met this kind of celebrity before but not under these circumstances.

Jennifer was my tsunami.

My lost love.

And it took me a long long time to find someone to replace her.

Um yes. I'm absolutely positively sure.

I think that you are that person.

My search is over.





















#69 Posted : Saturday, April 06, 2013 6:12:14 PM(UTC)
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Um yeah, Maria left me.

Its the job. Its who she is.

I liked her. I still do.

She is a great "player".

As Sade would sing, "Matador I can't hide anymore"

Anyway, um she doesn't want to be tied down.

She looked write at me without looking.

She sees through me without seeing me at all.

They say the same thing about you.

You and your big heart making everyone you touch beautiful even if their not.

I keep seeing us standing in the doorway.

Its the end of the night.

Your talking instead of just enjoying it.

Your telling me that your missing me.

Your head down. Your not looking at me.

You grab my hand.

You laugh and say, "So what now?"

Its a reoccurring dream.

Sometimes I excuse myself and say good night.

Sometimes we kiss.

Sometimes we go inside.

Sometimes we are in my doorway waiting for the outside to pick you up.

Sometimes we are at a restaurant and your upset about Maria.

Your telling me to stop wasting my time.

That Maria is Mr. Wrong not me.

That she travels the world loving them just to pick up and leave them in the end.

That Maria doesn't know how to commit.

Then sometimes I'm with Maria and your with someone that I don't recognize.

You look at me from across the room.

Then you look away. Flip you hair and smile at him.

Then sometimes we are alone in your room.

Slow dancing with just a sheet wrapped around us.

Your hair wild and untamed.

I don't hear anything. Just you.

You say smiling that this can't go on.

We can't spend the whole weekend here.

Then sometimes you are looking at me.

I'm telling you not tonight. 

That I need more time to recover.

That I wouldn't be much help.

That if you wanted you could have your way with me and I couldn't stop you.

Smiling as I say it.

And finally sometimes beloved..

Its at the airport. She's leaving.

I'm at the gate trying to put on a good show.

I don't want her to know.

She kisses me on the cheek and says, "Be good bad boy be good."

She leaves.

You pick me up downstairs and we go.

The street lights overhead.

The night in my window.

And you always you...







#70 Posted : Sunday, April 07, 2013 3:46:58 PM(UTC)
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Hi. Don't interrupt.

You should know that I am not the guy who gets treated like crap.

The guy who waits and waits for years and years until she decides to come around and love

him because he's the only one around that has put time in.

I would never ask my girl to do that. Don't ask me.

Some people actually find suffering romantic. Not me.

If it doesn't feel good anymore I'm gone.

I don't like abuse. I don't like pain.

I want warm and fuzzy with my morning coffee.

Flirting never ends.

Valentine's Day doesn't mean anything because we celebrate every night

without doing it every night.

I like tulips but if its more the merrier than so be it.

I want whatever it is you want even if I can't be there too.

Okay. I'm satisfied now.

#71 Posted : Sunday, April 07, 2013 5:29:00 PM(UTC)
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Hi. I hate you.

Getting ready to watch "Eat Pray Love".

But until then lets play a game I used to play with Bey.

Its called "Cuddle in the puddle"

Um you know, things happen for awhile.

And then she would finish.

We would just lie there for awhile to catch our breath.

I'm not as good at it as she is.

She knows everything.

And she is very particular.

She's constantly trying to improve on it.

Changing what we do over and over again.


Its funny you meet someone on the street and you strike up a conversation.

Then your constantly bump into each other.

Then she says, "So where are you off to now?

"Um I'm having some friends over-you should come."

Smiling as she says it.

Um the friends don't show up.

So its suddenly just the two of us.

Jennifer is very good at making you feel right at home at her place.

I had no idea.

I went in there totally oblivious to her charms.

Its a stop that I recommend but if you go wear dark dark DARK sunglasses.

Yeah she's that pretty.

So anyway back to whatever you call whatever we were doing over and over again.

Um I haven't felt anything like Jennifer before.

It took some getting used to.

I think she had the same feelings happening with her to.

Jennifer is vocal.

She tells me exactly what she wants even if I don't want to see it.

As beautiful as she is she has that thing that you have.

You know that do it all or suffer the consequences thing.

She's demanding.

So demanding that there were times that I found myself telling her

on the phone that i can't make it today.

This of course was laughed off.

Then she would start talking to me about my personal life

and how this can go that way if you want it to.

Then she would say, "Do you think it should go that way?"

I told her, "I don't know what this is. What are you asking of me?"

Then she would simply say "Come over".

Smiling through the phone as she said it.

So I would cave and go over there.

Jennifer is big on entertainment and her appetite is like having another person in the room with you.

Usually she would bring out cakes, jams, and jelly.

Finger food knick knacks.

She really liked long long food.

And she would eat it very slowly right in front of me.

Smiling as she did it.

Everytime I went there there was something to had to show me.

And then the "So what do you think, do you think we need this?" question.

Thats when I turned to her and said,

"Jennifer what's going on? 

No I don't want a breadstick.

What are we doing? What is this? 

Are we friends now? Look I didn't see the show.

I don't want to be someone that your just going to throw away later

at the first sign of trouble.

So please just tell me because I don't want to like you."

She says, "I want to be friends."


I'm telling you this because I want to start out on the Mr. Write foot.

I don't want to end up being Mr. Wrong. I think.

Um look this is my plan.

I want to christen every country.

I want to relive those nights.

Those nights that i had with someone else.

Those two of us alone laughing and talking nights to never ever forget.

I want us to play "Cuddle in the puddle" too.

Then you can show me your new grip.

Then maybe afterwards we can make up some new ones.


Um yeah after that talk Jennifer and i continued to meet over and over again.

Whenever she would blow into town we would meet.

We decided to leave everything open.

So both of us could see other people.

I think she liked that I was willing to sleep in the puddle.

Get her a glass of water when she wanted it.

That I didn't leave afterwards.

And that leaving was the last thing on my mind.


Um I only want the best for her.

Bey told me that its just the nature of the beast with women like her.

You know the I'm in control, I make all of the decisions, you serve one purpose type of thing.

Jennifer and I bonded and all but we are still just friends.

Deep in the dark close private and intimate friends.

I understood the rules. The boundaries. The glare of her fame.

Sometime I'll tell you how we would go about things.

What it would take for us just to be together.

I remember listening to her going over her lines in the dark.

Coming over to me to get a reaction to whatever emotion she thought the scene called for.

She was very good at acting but not good at faking it.

I don't think she gets the credit she deserves.

With Jennifer its not about her career its about what's not about her career.

And with you I think its the opposite.

Your entire existence.

Your whole being.

Is about your career.

The other stuff doesn't matter.

You throw it out.

Jennifer keeps EVERYTHING.

She keeps it in a box on her coffee table.

And its filled with all kinds of innuendo and beauty and desire and love.

She loves being who she is, and you have to love who she is,

when she wants you to love who she is or else.

She makes you do things you really don't want to do.

I did what everybody else does with Jennifer.

I let her do whatever she wanted whenever she wanted to do it.

I caved often.

Jennifer wants to know where, when, and why all the time.

She loves to relate. Study you. 

Go deep into your soul.

Make you pay.

Have that impromptu therapy session when there is no need to have one.

She's a beautiful person. A healer. A giver.

She's willing to put in time for others less fortunate.

Her only problem is that she just isn't willing to stay with someone.

And thats what did us in.
















#72 Posted : Monday, April 08, 2013 1:52:08 PM(UTC)
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Hi. Off court activities? Yeah write.

I am seeing more and more things that remind me of you.

Write now its a sunset.

Its one of those mysteriously haunting ones.

One of those that take you far far away just to be closer to each other.

Um it will be gone soon.

Luckily there will be another one tomorrow.

It seems that your sunrise is my sunset.

I just wanted to say hi to something beautiful that won't be gone too soon.

I wanted to say hi to something that I think is beautiful too.

Bye girl bye.


#73 Posted : Monday, April 08, 2013 2:13:51 PM(UTC)
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Hi. Don't laugh.

I decided that while I'm waiting for you to return.

I'm going to go back to something I used to do a lot.


This way we can play a match too.

Don't worry I'll take it easy on you.

While your gone I am going to buy a new racquet.

Sorry not a HEAD racquet.

I'll leave the HEAD games in your more than capable hands.

Speaking of HEAD games Jennifer just texted me.

She wants to pick up a racquet too.

She was nice about it. No attitude.

There's nothing to read into the fact that I want to practice playing tennis

and now out of nowhere she wants to pick it up again too.

Every time we communicate I always feel like she wants to say something

to me but she doesn't say it.

She kind of goes back and forth um saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Typical Jennifer speak, charge in with both guns blazing just to find out she's just shooting blanks.

False alarms are part of Jennifer's lifestyle.

She never commits to anything.

She finishes all of her beginnings before they start to end.

She spends it all when its free and takes it all for herself just to give it all away to everybody else.

I have to admit I'm glad to see her moving on with it all.

Taking more chances risking whatever it is she thinks is worthwhile.

I can here her smile in her words.

Just like you used to.

#74 Posted : Monday, April 08, 2013 2:35:25 PM(UTC)
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Hi. Bey came over again.

We got drunk in the dark.

Look at me now I'm mixing my Smart water with my Evian.

She left so I'm going to bed now.

I know your probably out.

It being Friday night and all.

Have a good time. Dance.

Don't be a coward. The world including yours truly loves your but.

It must be so nice to be home away from home for at least a little while.

I have a question.

Am I the only "Mr. New York"?

Is there a Mr. Los Angeles? A mister Miami? Australia? Tibet? Sochi? Bali? Crete?

I think you know where I am going with this.

Because my phone is ringing off the hook.

You don't have to answer.

Caroline told me everything.

No I'm not jealous.


I gotta go Sienna and Megan are coming over early in the morning again.

Same thing. Same money. Same work. Same beauty.

I'll talk to you later.

Buy girl bye.




#75 Posted : Tuesday, April 09, 2013 1:49:05 PM(UTC)
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Hi. I'm madly in love with you.

I'm in bed listening to the Pretenders.

"Hymn to Her".

I know your getting ready to leave for Germany.

Fine. Leave me.

A divorce was inevitable anyway.

Since we signed a prenup all you get is..

My Heart.

My Devotion.

My Love.

And finally my Ghost.

Now I'm listening to "The Sundays".

One of my favorite bands of all time.

Misunderstood misfit toys who beat the bully and won.

I know I know its not Aida, or Evita or Les Miserable.

Its not worth your precious time.

But its still great music to listen to.

You should put a Top Ten list up.

You know what the Matador listens to.

Um okay okay fine.

I want to play a game with you.

Its called, "On your knees"

I stand in front of you.

You get down on your knees.

Then we switch.

Thats the game.

Its especially fun after a long match on a hot hot day.

I promise.

Um you know when I walk I walk with you.

We walk together.

When Jennifer walks she walks with me.

We walk together.

I wonder what it would be like if the two of you walked together?

Would you walk with her like I do?



#76 Posted : Tuesday, April 09, 2013 2:14:48 PM(UTC)
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Hi. I just woke up. 

I got tired from my long long walk with Bey.

I had that dream that I always have.

Were in bed together under the sheets and your on top of me.

Your smiling telling me that I'm really gonna get it now.

Your still dressed. In your armor after another lucky lucky victory.

Your kissing me. Caressing my face.

Looking deep into my eyes for something only you can see and something that you know

that I would only show to you.

I get lost in you.

Your holding me down so I can't touch you, so all I can do is try to touch what I can't reach.

You keep saying we have to go but you don't stop kissing me.

Your beautiful when your hungry like this.

When you don't have enough time.

We enjoy each other.

We take each other for granted.

We ruin it just to build it again.

Sometimes in the midst of it all you'll say something to me about something that I did

and you can't believe that I did it.

That you had been watching me.

That you wanted to tell me but that you were afraid that someone would find out.

That I shouldn't have been there and that I wanted her to be with you.

You look at me.

I tell you that your not hurting me.

I tell you that you can't hurt me.

You look at me again.

Giving yourself away.

Hiding your true feelings from me.

Letting me know who you want to be.

Your beautiful now. More than beautiful.


#77 Posted : Tuesday, April 09, 2013 2:36:04 PM(UTC)
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Hi. Britney said I could take a break.

I'm watching "The Break Up" for the gazillionth time.

Jennifer is a beautiful woman.

Um I have a question..

Do you play video games? Tennis video games?

Do you ever play yourself?

If you do what do you think of your likeness?

Do you think the character they created looks like you?

Does the character play the way you would?

Who would you want to play against man or woman in a video game?

I know I know another dumb question by the cardiac kid.

This movie kills me because Jennifer makes cold look hot in every scene

and her boyfriend in the movie completely ignores her.

Good movie but way way WAY too far fetched is a total understatement.

No one dumps Jennifer looking this good. Not even me.

#78 Posted : Tuesday, April 09, 2013 2:50:46 PM(UTC)
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Hi. Always. No matter what.

I am watching Demi.

"Indecent Proposal" for the umpteenth time.

It reminds me of you.

The infamous kitchen scene.

Its the scene where they are still very very much in love

and thinking about building their dream life together.

Woody says to Demi, "Did I ever tell you that I love you?"

Its Demi in all of her world class iconic glory.

Wearing just his dress shirt laying down on the floor, her head in his lap.

Its sexy but not overstated.

This scene said you to me over and over again.


#79 Posted : Wednesday, April 10, 2013 10:47:36 AM(UTC)
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Hi. Busy day so I'm going to Maria this and be done with it.

I thought I just ran into me ex.


Your write I should.

Its too late now.

Its funny I could have sworn it was her.

Still amazing looking.

Still making me look when I don't want to.

But then I looked again.

And I realized it wasn't her anymore.

It was you.

Wonderful beautiful you.

#80 Posted : Wednesday, April 10, 2013 11:12:11 AM(UTC)
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Hi. Extremely important. Right this down.

Don't bother telling me on Valentine's or any other

important holiday that you made plans and that you'll call me.

I have had enough of that and don't need more of that in my life anymore.

I take it with cream and lots and lots of Equal.

Important evenings together should be thought through.

Well planned. Punctuality is a must.

You should look polished and pressed. Wear the title.

Then afterwards something much much more intimate.

Something passionate and private.

Showing up late is a power trip that I don't want to go on.

I want to be with you but only under these specific guidelines and conditions.

The only way you can let me down gracefully is if you agree to sleep in the puddle

until the same day next year.

Then we can both be Laker fans together.

That my darling is all.



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