I'm posting this again just in case you did not get it the first time...

Thor, I'm posting here because there is nobody here/hear/reading.

Listen carefully. This is the plan.

We all go by black SUV. Six of them. Heavy. Tinted.

I want to run single file on one lane roads.

Side by side on two lane roads.

And take up all three lanes on the expressway.

We drive side by side doing the speed limit all the way down.

Nobody passes us. No worries.

We stop at rest areas, gas stations, and some area malls along the way to get some face time with anybody who wants some.

We make every town we stop in, ours.

Have you figured out who number five is yet?

Its not the mystery guest, thats number six.

That person is coming just for you and you only.

Don't worry about me, I'm covered.

Don't forget Thor this is MY SHOW.

Speak again later, Spock out.

Thor.

You think you have it bad?  "Action!", "Quiet on the set.."

You should see what happens to number 3 in the world-Maria Sharapova.

All she ever hears is "Practice". 

But how do you do that when someone won't leave the court when their time is up?

Maria is punctual. Polite. Known as a players player on and off the court.

So why take away her precious practice time?

Right now she needs all the practice she can get.

And that my friend is our job.  You, me, Christian, and Jean.

We, as a team, will help Maria unwind so that she can play better.

I personally would like to see Maria open up her serve a little bit more.

Take more chances and go for more winners.

Every time I come here I laugh because all of the pictures of her here- 

have her holding her HEAD bag.

its like her new team logo or something.

She changed racquets you know. She went from using a PRINCE Super sized

to a Super HEAD racquet.

If she doesn't start winning soon she may have to switch back to a Wilson.

Her racquet is as important to her as your Hammer is to you, Thor.

So after a long season we need to be ready when the time is right.

Once again, don't respond to any thing you might think is the signal.

I'll let you know. Leave it all to me. They are coming.

its too bad big bad Liam can't come with us because we could use all the help that we can get.

We will be completely overwhelmed and outnumbered.

So much so that I am looking for two more volunteers as we speak.

Ok. I am going to leave it at that for now.

So for now go back to your usual search routine-Beyonce, Taylor, Zoe, Britney, Katy, etc.

And no man. In response to your email. Like I said before Zoe still can't make it.

if that happens to change I'll let you know. But if you must know I got HB.

She's coming but no offense she wasn't invited to meet you. Jean.

He's a good looking guy too you know. He's your friendly competition.

I know. Me too. No she doesn't have sister.

But I'll ask around about Zoe. I promise.

Ok. I gotta go. Keep checking for updates. 

Disregard anything on this site, under this topic, that doesn't start with your name.

And don't forget to watch the Oscars-Anne hopefully will continue to make us all feel miserable

and win again. 

Sorry. No can do. 

She was one of the top names on my list too.

Married life does have its advantages. I envy.

So look. Hang out. We will speak again soon.

Later.

Thor.

This is absolutely positively my favorite sight to log in and out of.

Oh brother. What a racquet!

They are doing construction across the hall so I hear hammering ALL DAY LONG NON STOP.

(cough)

I finally have some good news to tell you.

I told you that I was only going to get the best of the best.

Well here it is-

A big named actor-we'll call "Bradley" responded to my invitation-

and is willing to take time out of his busy BUSY schedule to join us!

Also coming is one of my other favorite Marvel super heroes-The Wolverine himself-"Huge Hugh" is coming!

He's our clean up hitter in a lineup full of all-star talent.

THEY don't stand a chance against us now. Were going to win it all and "eat hearty".

So so far we have The Batman, Jean, Yourself, The Wolverine, Big Bradley, and Me.

And don't forget the very special SPECIAL mystery guest that is coming to meet you and you only.

(cough)

Thats US. Now on to THEM.

I heard back from two different groups-both are interested and both want to come.

I'm still trying to work out an additional stop in Washington.

There we can all get some face time with our president erect Barrack Obama.

I'm hoping that he and his wife will join us for breakfast.

Me neither, but how do you tell the president AND his wife "not now but maybe later".

And to answer your question in regards to our gracious host-

the one and only, tennis sensation, superstar, and avid runner Maria Sharapova.

I have gotten absolutely no response, no indication, to any of the above or below.

I do know that she is training hard. Determined. Focused on the task at hand.

I don't want to bother Maria with such an outlandishly ridiculous request.

I know. My Hammer is disappointed too but there is still time to eventually hear from her.

But don't fret because I have an "Out of Sight" "Back Up Plan" in place just in case she says this isn't for her.

(cough)

One thing we could do is go there and meat some of the other players instead.

And yes Thor I will look into "her". And no I don't know if she is married or not.

Yes. Maria is married but the others are so hard to read.

I'm just not sure-its so hard to tell now a days.

(cough)

So Thor I gotta go now. Don't respond. Just hang out. Practice.

As soon as I know you'll know.

Get some rest partner-your gonna need it!

Later bro.

"Maria is something beautiful inside something else that happens to be beautiful too."

Maria, you've been officially "meat tagged".

Its nothing to worry about-just take it in stride.

I tagged Jenny Aniston, JLo, Heidi, Charlize, Paris, and Britney too.

They all laughed and told me to go to Hell.

I told them I can't because Hell doesn't take visa...

Morning Maria, another Valentine's Day came and went.

Writing to you on my I-Touch gets me through such days.

I used to write to a mutual friend but she stopped responding due to privacy issues.

Its too bad because I miss the feedback.

Just writing or reading with no response from others leaves me feeling cold.

I learn from writing and listening to others much more than writing or reading to myself.

However I regret not listening to myself more.

So anyway I write many many women, not just you.

You don't have to respond if you don't want to.

I'm not pushing up on you because I'm way too much of a push over.

You looked great last night by the way. You stole the show.

Seeing you looking so beautiful is such a welcomed departure from seeing you do your regular routine all the time.

You have so many different aspects to your personality and this is the part that we hardly ever get a chance to see.

I for one want to see much much more.

And that doesn't just include the glamour side but also the day to day side too.

Bad days build character and I bet you've had a million.

Forgive me. I'm so not used to sharing my ideas so openly.

As you can see I'm not from around here. I'm not a sports person or a tennis pro.

I'm still trying to find out who I am and if there is anyone else like me on this planet.

Hopefully one day that other martian, the one that I have been searching for-

will land her ship, find nothing out of the ordinary and take me away with her.

I don't think anyone would miss me. Would you find the time to miss me?

Or would your love for this game continue to be your favorite distraction.

That place that you can always go to when something is bothering you.

That safe haven that you run to to hide your true feelings when love happens

and then suddenly doesn't... 

I wish I had a place to go to like that.

Forgive me, I don't mean to pry. And no I don't mince words.

I just figure why go to the trouble of posting something, and not say anything.

I know you probably think that I am high strung, insecure, and a bad bad writer.

And I apologize for all of that.

Maybe I've even said way too much again.

Sometimes you run into someone and you think to yourself what are they thinking.

Its not about what they do or anything like that, but its more about who they are. Inside.

I saw you and I wanted to know immediately what was inside.

Forgive me. What can I say, your youthful exuberance inspires me.

But certainly not enough for me to worship the court you walk on.

You don't need me for that anyway, you have more than enough of those.

If I did that you would be disappointed. Luckily I'm not good at it.

Bye Maria. Bye.

Hi.

Its me. Its late and I couldn't sleep.

I was thinking about you. Don't worry its almost over. Me.

Um, its about your decision to keep playing.

To not quit your career and become a beautiful wife and a loving mother.

After thinking about it LONG and HARD-I have come to the conclusion that you made the right decision.

He was asking way way too much of you.

Your career was blossoming. Stardom.

You were on the verge of becoming number one.

The timing of this discussion was totally unnecessary. 

To suddenly stop training to start a family would have been an error in judgement.

You competitive nature would have regretted it later.

Watching lesser players win while your window of opportunity closed. Terrible.

He was being irrational.

There was more than enough time to fulfill any promises you may have made to him.

He just didn't want to wait. He gave you no choice.

Um, I know you loved him.

And I know you still love him.

But the cost was much too high. The sacrifice way too great. 

With everything that you've become and continue to become, love waits.

With all the applause, the plaques, the celebrity-you don't have the one thing that you need the most.

True. Family is enough.

And for awhile you can get away with playing that role.

Select friends to fill that void in your life.

Safeguard all of your timeshares.

Be wiling to go on yet another blind date-knowing full well that this just isn't for you...

You can continue to watch others. Listen and learn from their mistakes.

Not give someone new a chance.

Or you can woman-up and be with whomever it is you want to be with. 

Your Maria Sharapova, Darling.

The world will love you no matter who you choose.

All I'm saying is is that its time to choose...

Good. So get back to me with some kind of response.

I'm curious to know who the lucky person is.

Yes. I am envious but I also know my place.

There is something romantic about telling a superstar athlete "no"

when everybody in the world says "yes yes yes" to anything and everything she does.

Thank you Maria. You've inspired me to write a memoir.

I think I'll call it, "Maria my beloved, no thank you..."

Hi Maria!

Your face book album is great.

I go there daily. I don't post or anything.

I don't advertise.

It made me think about what great lengths I would go to just to talk to a girl.

True story-

Once a upon a time there was this girl.

Lets call her Gina.

Italian. Femme. Pretty and funny.

At the time I was dating her best friend.

Lets call her Megan. Also very pretty and funny.

We would go to the movies, hang out, find a greasy spoon to eat at, whatever.

So anyway, I couldn't keep my eyes off of Gina.

I liked her so much that at night we would chat on the phone about other guys that she liked.

I even threw my voice to sound like one of them.

I was willing to be someone else for her.

She laughed. It was done for fun.

But she didn't get it. They never do.

When you like someone and you want them to like you back.

You have to go far far away from who you really are.

No matter how foolish you may look-you take a chance and risk something for them.

I'm sure they are both married by now.

I never let on. 

Instead I do what I always do when I like a girl a lot.

I say the wrong thing.

And usually thats the last thing that they remember.

They don't remember what I was willing to do to be anything they wanted me to be.

The girl I was dating, Megan.

Was a beautiful beautiful person in her own right.

I liked her. I didn't take her for granted. I got lucky.

They were best friends.

There was no way I was going to interfere with their friendship.

Eventually Megan and I broke up for other reasons that I can't remember.

So I called Gina. In fact I called every day.

Nothing special. She would laugh and laugh.

Not knowing that I was madly in love with her.

I never told either one of them.

It was my problem. My secret.

So anyway Maria. Beautiful Maria.

You will never know.

And like so many others before you.

I will never ever tell.

Bye.

Thor.

Good news.

It took some doing but I finally got what I wanted.

A sure fire no doughter to help us.

Daniel Craig has agreed to join our team.

But he won't be coming alone.

His wife Rachel Weisz is coming too! (sorry if I spelled her last name wrong)

She said she wouldn't get in the way.

She just wants to watch it all unfold.

I told her to do this thing right it would take many many days and that her 007

would be a major player in seeing that the job was done right.

She seemed okay with all of it including all of the nudity.

I have to admit I was impressed with her attitude.

She knows whats at stake and wants to be a full participant.

Again, how could I say no?

I also got a chance to see your brother Liam in action.

I finally saw "Hunger Games".

Good movie but would have preferred to see Liam get picked to fight in the games.

The chicks dig him so why not have him be chosen.

Watching certain parts of the movie and knowing Liam character was just watching along with us

was like watching a coach benching a star player at the beginning of the game.

Hopefully next time Thor's brother will get a meatier role to play,

his talent and his sexy were completely wasted here.

Jennifer Lawrence on the other hand was fantastic.

Liam and Jennifer look very good together. No disrespect to Miley Cyrus of course.

As for you Thor don't respond.

Don't look under your mattress. Don't look into anything.

Don't believe what you are reading or seeing.

Let me be your guide.

As soon as I know you will know too.

Our girl was fortunate enough to get a bye in the first round at Indian Wells.

Hopefully she'll have a little something extra later on to win this sucker.

Some of the other big guns sat out on this one so Maria has as good a chance as anyone to win here again.

So Thor lets pull for her-together.

Good. So I'll continue to keep you posted. More updates will follow.

Keep practicing and grow that hair.

Later.

Afternoon Maria.

I'm at Bella's having pancakes and sausage at two forty one in the afternoon.

Its quietly quieter here. Thank God.

Usually you have to wait in line twenty minutes just to get a table.

Way back when my girlfriends and I would go out dancing on Saturday night.

Afterwards eat late late late, say good bye to friends, and walk in the door at like three in the morning.

Talk, go to bed, and then quietly talk some more.

The next morning wake up at like eleven.

Talk, order in even more take out, and you guessed it-wolf down even more pancakes LOL.

(cough)

Things have changed a lot since then.

I am not nearly that ambitious any more.

Now I get up at first light. Five in the morning. Insane.

You know the old saying the early bird gets blah blah blah.

Well put it this way its a lot lore than just a worm LOL.

Forgive me, I wish I was funnier, so anyway..

Exercise. Stretch. A light swift breakfast.

Then maybe take in a museum or a last minute art exhibit.

You need tickets for anything worthwhile these days,

but the Moma almost always has something interesting happening.

And if not there, Soho is chock full of couture, culture, and coffee.

What about you Maria?

Do you remember what it was all like?

That moment that you wanted someone to be there and they weren't.

When everything and anybody around you didn't mean anything to you

without him being there.

The boy that made your head spin, your heart race, and your friends strangers.

(cough)

It must be so hard for you to find the one that you like that is willing to wait.

But on the other hand any guy who doesn't wait for you isn't worth waiting for either.

As for me. I'm just not ready yet.

I'm still trying to get over big Jennifer.

I thought we had an understanding. A contract. A promise.

An agreement not to see other people.

Especially anyone with the name Casper or Justin!

Well she seems to be in a happier place now.

Maria, my friend, isn't it time for you to join them two?

Bye girl. And good luck.

Thor.

More good news. Sit down.

I want to get the job done so I enlisted more men.

Big time stud Rob Lowe has signed on and will join our motley crue.

He is mans man and every woman's dream.

He won't be coming alone he will bring with him three other young guns to help us.

Fellow actors Scott Speedman, Josh Hartnett, and Eric Mabius.

With word getting out I had no choice but to get reinforcements.

Its tricky. You want the supply to meat the demand. Never surrender.

And I got your message..

No. Nothing yet from Maria, Caroline, or Venus.

Serena however said she doesn't EVER want to come.

And newbie Victoria says the other players in the WTA have much MUCH better things to do with their time.

I swear you become number one and you forget all about the...

Well none of us is little so i'll say "extremely happy" people.

So Thor get ready. Bulk up. Keep practicing. Hammer.

And yes I will honor your request, I'll make sure there is tons and tons of smartwater in your limo.

You'll be in SUV number three right behind Jean and before The Wolverine, then the Butler, and finally me.

We will all follow our leader, the Batman. 

Rob Lowe and company will meet us there.

I'm still waiting to hear from anyone else that I have not mentioned here including-Blair Underwood and Big Bradley.

I'll let you know if they still carry big sticks.

As usual don't respond or read into anything, anywhere, or anybody.

I will be your guide.

No Blair is not the mystery guest.

This person will be shrouded in secrecy until you step into your own personal SUV.

Its a great way to Bond, who by the way will also meet us there with his beautiful beautiful wife Rachel.

I'm bringing someone along with me to. 

But I'm still trying to decide which one.

Thor it doesn't look like Zoe is going to make it. But I'll keep trying.

Say hi to Asgard for me. More updates to follow.

Later.

Thor.

The other ghost, Casper Van Dien is coming.

Since I haven't heard from BIG Bradley Cooper I had to bring in someone else.

Casper has all the tools, Thor. He has what it takes.

He'll make for a excellent addition to our team especially for the capture the flag.

Once again Amigo, this is our group so far..

The Batman (our captain)

Thor

Jean

The Wolverine

007

300 aka The Butler

Big Rob Lowe

Josh Hartnett

Eric Mabius

Casper Van Dien

and last but certainly not least Me.

I am still waiting to hear back from:

Bradley Cooper, Blair Underwood, Tiger Woods, Chris Pike, and Aaron Eckhardt.

I also want to add someone Spanish and someone Chinese.

Eventually I want twenty heart throbs in all.

We take THEM all on together.

Later.